- Joined
- Apr 11, 2023
The same way he writes everything else and keeps going. He's a professional.How do you write this shit and not immediately kill yourself out of shame?
💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter
- Thread starter Caverlock
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- Joined
- Jan 24, 2020
I AM THE SUN AT THE CENTER OF YOUR EXISTENCE, CHILD
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2021
Pat's going to die, and zero fictional characters will show up to comfort him, or tell him he's been a brave little rebel warrior. No (star)ship rides to the Grey Havens for fat rubes from the second-worst city in the midwest.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2024
You've overdosed on tubby custard Tommy boy!
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
Fucking ricky von moviefan.
Any TRUE SCHOLAR would know Tolkien despised cats, or at least Siamese ones.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
Anybody who's not fucking fat and retarded would not get the black speech of Mordor tattooed on his flabby arm but here we are. He probably just heard black speech and thought it would attract more pepperoni.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
That one's even more hilarious because just staying AWAKE during the movie would get you to that point ...
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2016
How does someone trot this out with both of their chubby pig hooves and not immediately grab their firearm and blow their brains out to cringemaxxing?New Lord of the Rings "joke" just dropped.
This is so incredibly gay.
Meriasek
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 16, 2020
Gotta admire his consistency when it comes to misspelling Gollum and Pippin. He is, after all, a published and successful professional writer, and you don't get to that point without consistency.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2024
He perfectly encapsulates the "millennial" writing style. Terrible "jokes", zero reverence for the source material - he could get a job writing for Amazon or Netflix!
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2021
Fucking fake-nerd spells not one, but two of Tolkien's incredibly famous characters wrong but has a LOTR tattoo.
He is also the unfunniest man alive, but that's old news.
whore loving dragon
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2021
I think this is more just a lighthearted joke about cats being evil. Tolkien seems like the kind of guy who would like cats.
Patrick is fat btw
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2020
You don't have a sense of humor, stalker. The fun police know you don't. They know I. Do. Enjoy prison.
The fat cat on the mat
may seem to dream
of nice mice that suffice
for him, or cream;
but he free, maybe,
walks in thought
unbowed, proud, where loud
roared and fought
his kin, lean and slim,
or deep in den
in the East feasted on beasts
and tender men.
The giant lion with iron
claw in paw,
and huge ruthless tooth
in gory jaw;
the pard dark-starred,
fleet upon feet,
that oft soft from aloft
leaps upon his meat
where woods loom in gloom --
far now they be,
fierce and free,
and tamed is he;
but fat cat on the mat
kept as a pet
he does not forget.
may seem to dream
of nice mice that suffice
for him, or cream;
but he free, maybe,
walks in thought
unbowed, proud, where loud
roared and fought
his kin, lean and slim,
or deep in den
in the East feasted on beasts
and tender men.
The giant lion with iron
claw in paw,
and huge ruthless tooth
in gory jaw;
the pard dark-starred,
fleet upon feet,
that oft soft from aloft
leaps upon his meat
where woods loom in gloom --
far now they be,
fierce and free,
and tamed is he;
but fat cat on the mat
kept as a pet
he does not forget.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
He's not Lowtax, his dumb PS90 isn't gonna do shit against his massive fatness.
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2016
Pat wants to be Joss Whedon so bad, completely dead to the reality that Joss Whedon doesn't even want to be Joss Whedon anymore. That time has passed.
Even if his most selfish desires were met, Pat would still be angry and miserable and people would still shit on him and make fun of his bland, 'erm actually' jokes. He carries a living hell around with him, Uncle Rico-acting motherfucker.
Even if his most selfish desires were met, Pat would still be angry and miserable and people would still shit on him and make fun of his bland, 'erm actually' jokes. He carries a living hell around with him, Uncle Rico-acting motherfucker.
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2025
2012-era Tumblr called, they want their joke back
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2019
Do you guys think he ever gets tired of being this wrong? I mean don't get me wrong I agree with his fundamental premise that Tesla stock is almost cartoonishly overvalued at this point, but pretending that is going to translate into the current market, given the legions of fanboys and retards still lapping Musk's ballsack, is fucking retarded.
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2019
Didn't Tesla stock tank as per the most recent shareholders call?
Also I bet Fat Rick was lapping Musk's balls along with all the other soyium 5-10 years ago.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
His obese oinking and squealing sounds more distressed than usual. Is all not well in the half-hovel? Lolsuit not going smoothly?
Piggertits is still fatly fighting with the same civilian.
