💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Uber driver reviewer]

The weird part is is how often he eats ground beef. Maybe in a burger or taco or shitty chili soup. But my guess is he feels he's being ripped off if they sell him ground beef and he was expecting strips of steak.

Remember it's all about the juicy meats for him. Ground beef just isn't good enough for an epicure like Fatty.

he's a permanent aggrieved victim

he just needs something to bitch and whinge about

He's just like a fucking whiney liberal

 

[AnOminous]

Jack reviews another movie

How can he never manage not to look as dumb as a guppy even in the thumbnail?

I have to disagree, there: Jack regularly fails to notice all three when recommending films known to contain them. In fact, he regularly fails at everything; and probably shits on the wall.

Case in point, Snow Beaner, which took a steaming bean shit all over one of Disney's most classic movies, and is probably one of their wokest outings yet, but he didn't see any politics. He just knows he's supposed to hate woke, doesn't even actually know what woke is.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack shows off more garbage AI art, like is Batman supposed to be Trump here?



Jack thinks the 80s is Peak America



Jack hates NPR for some reason



Jack on sports



Jack wants an Amazon show or more sponsorships with Bezos' help



Jack will make carnivore ice cream or something

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He just knows he's supposed to hate woke, doesn't even actually know what woke is.

Woke has been so overused that now it just means, "stuff on the left that I hate".

Jack thinks the 80s is Peak America

It's when he was young so of course that's the best time.

But on a completely different note that flag only has 40 stars on it meaning it was from 1889-1912. Was America great then?

Jack will make carnivore ice cream or something

That sounds terrifying.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

he's a permanent aggrieved victim

he just needs something to bitch and whinge about

He's just like a fucking whiney liberal

I think it’s more of a Boomer affliction than anything. I know a couple of older guys who are like this. They don’t have meaningful work and so spend their time thinking about themselves and how the world hasn’t lived up to what they feel they deserve. The kind of men who’d make a big fuss with waitstaff or cashiers about some small inconvenience and blow it up with confrontation and a sense of entitlement. That is, they think they are entitled to a smooth, hassle-free life and when they don’t get it, they believe it’s because people have wronged them.

Honestly when I’m tired or haven’t eaten, I can get easily irritated by incompetence that wastes my time or otherwise has a less than perfect impact on the given situation. But I was taught the acronym YET — for “you’re eligible too,” meaning hassle and snafus are part of being a human and I am not owed the easiest, most comfortable life possible. I don’t think Jack ever learned this concept, or how to manage his inner dialogue to minimize self-manufactured friction with others. He might not even have an inner dialogue to begin with.

TL;DR Jack is a cautionary tale about the dangers of being an unproductive member of society who lacks humility.

ETA: Amazon DOES broker deals between brands and influencers. He’s so ignorant it beggars belief.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack shows off more garbage AI art, like is Batman supposed to be Trump here?

Speaking of AI art, has anyone done a Ghibli Jack yet?

Jack will make carnivore ice cream or something

If it's anything but this, he's retarded.

1 pint heavy whipping cream
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

Directions
Beat cream in a chilled glass or metal bowl with an electric mixer until soft peaks form; add condensed milk and beat until thick and well combined.

Transfer mixture to a shallow container and cover with plastic wrap; freeze until solid, about 6 hours.

This is actually pretty good although I'd add some genuine vanilla too.

I hope he does do this because it is so simple I can't imagine how even a stroked-out retard like Jack somehow fucks it up.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

If it's anything but this, he's retarded.

I’ve made that and it’s good (especially with fresh lemon or lime juice and zest mixed in). It’s even better poured into a cookie or graham crust/base and eaten as sliced pie.

But this is my other favorite ice cream. It’s technically a semi-freddo but your taste buds and brain will process it as ice cream.




Something this good would be wasted on Jack. He deserves nothing better than those giant buckets of cheap ice cream that’s made of HFCS and 50 other shitty ingredients.

 

[AnOminous]

But this is my other favorite ice cream. It’s technically a semi-freddo but your taste buds and brain will process it as ice cream.

My favorite simple but "real" ice cream base is from the Ben & Jerry's ice cream recipe book.

INGREDIENTS
1 c Sweetened condensed milk;
2 c Light cream

INSTRUCTIONS
This recipe makes a less creamy, less rich ice cream. Ben likes the slightly cooked flavor of the sweetened condensed milk. Whisk the light cream and the sweetened condensed milk together in a mixing bowl until blended. Makes 1 quart.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Whisk the light cream and the sweetened condensed milk together in a mixing bowl until blended.

And then what? Ice cream maker, freezer set, etc.? I only make ices that don’t require an ice cream maker. (We make a lot of granitas throughout the summer. Those are just shoved in the freezer and forked through periodically until it reaches the desired consistency.)

Thread tax: I’m surprised Jack hasn’t tried to make a meatsicle yet.

 

[Zeftax]

To keep up the carnivore larp he's gonna substitute cream for lard.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

To keep up the carnivore larp he's gonna substitute cream for lard.

Tallowsicles.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

To keep up the carnivore larp he's gonna substitute cream for lard.

Or force his wife to eat the ice cream while he eats it off camera

 

[Soggy stone fruit]

I think the reason why Jack likes pictures is because he is to stupid to picture things in his head. I think it is impossible for him to see a taco in front of him when he reads the word, so he needs pictures - otherwise it is just instinct "I know word Taco. Taco good. Me order". He is a specimen.

 

[AnOminous]

And then what? Ice cream maker, freezer set, etc.?

Prepare it any way you like. This is just the recipe for the base. I have a cheap ice cream maker that basically makes single portions.

(As for the other whipped cream ice cream, part of the advantage to it is you don't need an ice cream maker, you can just pour it in a bowl and top it with Saran Wrap or whatever and put it in the freezer.)

 

[Aunt Carol]

Jack hates NPR for some reason

Does anyone watch National Public Radio?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Jack hates NPR for some reason

Hating NPR (taxpayer-funded yet blatantly left-wing media whose CEO did a TED Talk on why truth is optional in reporting) is a reality-based position. But as with most of Jack’s takes, he doesn’t know why they’re objectionable. He just knows his brother Chucklefuck — and daddies Elon and Trump — aren’t fans, so he must open his gob and shit on NPR.

 

[desudesu]

Speaking of AI art, has anyone done a Ghibli Jack yet?

Shame he isn't even remotely this wholesome or likeable.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Jack hates NPR for some reason

NPR says bad things about Elon and Trump so fatty hates them

 

[Doctor of Autism]

View attachment 7142697
Shame he isn't even remotely this wholesome or likeable.

This AI slop is a good metaphor for Jack

Like AI, Jack presents himself as a wholesome family man who is just a humble small town YouTube cook

But deep down, just as AI takes other people's art and regurgitates it into sludge, Jack steals other people's recipes and makes pretty gross slop with it.

 

[Shartavius]

This AI slop is a good metaphor for Jack

Like AI, Jack presents himself as a wholesome family man who is just a humble small town YouTube cook

But deep down, just as AI takes other people's art and regurgitates it into sludge, Jack steals other people's recipes and makes pretty gross slop with it.

Also: the artificial intelligence.