KR North Korean crypto money launderers revealed to be gooning while laundering stolen money

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(there are no news articles but zachxbt is considered to be one of the best investigators when it comes to crypto crime)
 
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ZachXBT is a legend, but what is it with all these mainstream investigative types and saying shit like "I performed OSINT" to describe their work? Like dude just say you ran their @ through a Telegram account scanner, anyone with a few bucks to spare can use one, stop trying to make basic shit sound fancy.

Regarding the story tho, not surprising!
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(https://archive.is/BW2qO)

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(https://archive.is/wip/ePISe)

When you introduce the modern Internet to groups of people that have never used it before, they immediately fall into degeneracy.
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(kinda joking, but also kinda not)
 
So the famously Internet-Averse country has become the scourge of Internet money? Also couldn't they be leveraging their access to the Internet to get porn to sell to/influence their less-privileged, horny countrymen? You don't stay alive very long if you touch what you're producing for NK officially. You won't live very well at all if you don't find some side hustle. IIRC Russia was having issues with a lot of their NK allies being quite distracted by Internet access instead of fighting the war.
 
BelUwUga said:
So the famously Internet-Averse country has become the scourge of Internet money? Also couldn't they be leveraging their access to the Internet to get porn to sell to/influence their less-privileged, horny countrymen? You don't stay alive very long if you touch what you're producing for NK officially. You won't live very well at all if you don't find some side hustle. IIRC Russia was having issues with a lot of their NK allies being quite distracted by Internet access instead of fighting the war.
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There are theories that "Lazarus" (the biggest NK affiliated group) aren't even North Korean and are some other state actor stealing money for whatever purposes.

This is an interesting theory, because the methods they use are extremely high level and novel.

To add some perspective here, Virgil Griffith (yes the same guy from fucking "King of the Nerds):


was arrested and charged with like 5 years in jail for visiting North Korea and educating them on cryptocurrency in 2019 (Griffith was alleged to have discussed at the conference means through which North Korea could use cryptocurrency to evade economic sanctions): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgil_Griffith#Prosecution

How they got access to such high level hackers is a very big question.
 
Look, if I were about to steal some millions of dollars successfully, you bet your ass that I’d be cranking the hog (not to porn, but the the money)
 
neger psykolog said:
How they got access to such high level hackers is a very big question.
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There's plenty of potential answers. Short of serious ITAR items and nuclear enrichment tools there aren't really many items the regime cannot easily get their hands on. They could easily have some nerd-slaves they've raised to do this stuff. Hell, they've kidnapped Japs for translators and actors before. Maybe a sub came back with Satoshi by accident? Alternatively, NK produces a shit-ton of meth of incredible quantity. Conveniently the people into large-scale distribution of said meth are generally well served these days to have some crypto/computer experts on the payroll. The only thing they do better than meth is counterfeit US currency. When they're literally indistinguishable from the genuine article most people will happily take it as a 4:1 payout.
 
Sprate Header said:
When you introduce the modern Internet to groups of people that have never used it before, they immediately fall into degeneracy.
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Look, it's not that complicated. DPRK's Internet censorship makes the Great Firewall of China look like a toy. North Koreans are not allowed to fart in their own house, and chances are if anyone catches them wanking they get lined up by a wall and shot. So it's quite obvious that the very first thing they'll do the moment they gracefully get access to the Internet, will be releasing all that repressed sexual energy by accessing all the Internet porn they can for the duration the party gave them the green light.

Even if they get executed right afterwards, those goon seshes were the best thing they've ever experienced in their sad empty lives.
 
Slav Power said:
Look, it's not that complicated. DPRK's Internet censorship makes the Great Firewall of China look like a toy. North Koreans are not allowed to fart in their own house, and chances are if anyone catches them wanking they get lined up by a wall and shot. So it's quite obvious that the very first thing they'll do the moment they gracefully get access to the Internet, will be releasing all that repressed sexual energy by accessing all the Internet porn they can for the duration the party gave them the green light.

Even if they get executed right afterwards, those goon seshes were the best thing they've ever experienced in their sad empty lives.
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The hackers probably get very special exceptions

btw there is no joke a way that people try to weed out north korean hackers (or even legit) people from working with their tech projects (and this isn't even a joke, I've seen it mentioned hundreds of times and proven to work). You literally just ask them to type "fuck Kim Jong Un" and they usually delete the entire conversation and leave immediately:
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neger psykolog said:
The hackers probably get very special exceptions

btw there is no joke a way that people try to weed out north korean hackers (or even legit) people from working with their tech projects (and this isn't even a joke, I've seen it mentioned hundreds of times and proven to work). You literally just ask them to type "fuck Kim Jong Un" and they usually delete the entire conversation and leave immediately:
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Not sure why these employees aren't allowed to debase themselves if its necessary to infiltrate these companies.
 
Magnitude2717 said:
Not sure why these employees aren't allowed to debase themselves if its necessary to infiltrate these companies.
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I really don't envy the North Korean superhacker that even tries to walk up to his superior/general in the army/whatever and poses the question "Hey is it cool if I say fuck the supreme leader? Would you like to shoot me now? How about my family first?"
 
i used to jokingly call myself and others goons, before the word was completely ruined by porn addicts. kill pornographers.
 
BelUwUga said:
There's plenty of potential answers. Short of serious ITAR items and nuclear enrichment tools there aren't really many items the regime cannot easily get their hands on. They could easily have some nerd-slaves they've raised to do this stuff. Hell, they've kidnapped Japs for translators and actors before. Maybe a sub came back with Satoshi by accident? Alternatively, NK produces a shit-ton of meth of incredible quantity. Conveniently the people into large-scale distribution of said meth are generally well served these days to have some crypto/computer experts on the payroll. The only thing they do better than meth is counterfeit US currency. When they're literally indistinguishable from the genuine article most people will happily take it as a 4:1 payout.
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>Fent
>Counterfeit US Dollars
Oh no! Was George Floyd a North Korean agent?
 
I doubt they are "hooked" on porn. There is no such thing as porn addiction. that's some stupid shit our gynocentric clown world made up.

When you have to beg the North Koreans for help you know you are in bad shape. By helping fight Ukraine I guess they mean getting slaughtered. The Russian soldiers weren't happy with the North Korean peasant soldiers from what I heard. They often shot at the Russians because they couldn't tell who was who supposedly. They are all aimed with AK platforms so I'm surprised there wasn't more friendly fire going on.
 
BradeRunna said:
When you have to beg the North Koreans for help you know you are in bad shape. By helping fight Ukraine I guess they mean getting slaughtered. The Russian soldiers weren't happy with the North Korean peasant soldiers from what I heard. They often shot at the Russians because they couldn't tell who was who supposedly. They are all aimed with AK platforms so I'm surprised there wasn't more friendly fire going on.
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There's other threads you can use to sperg out about muh Russia.
 
BradeRunna said:
I doubt they are "hooked" on porn. There is no such thing as porn addiction. that's some stupid shit our gynocentric clown world made up.

When you have to beg the North Koreans for help you know you are in bad shape. By helping fight Ukraine I guess they mean getting slaughtered. The Russian soldiers weren't happy with the North Korean peasant soldiers from what I heard. They often shot at the Russians because they couldn't tell who was who supposedly. They are all aimed with AK platforms so I'm surprised there wasn't more friendly fire going on.
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Protip: the NKs that go out with guns and get used as cannon fodder are different to the ones who know how to do 1.5bn dollar hacks and launder money. It is very likely they get access to amphetamines to make them hack better so they probably do literally goon for hours at a time.

It is unbelievable that that even has to be pointed out.
 
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