- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
And pork. And beef. And anything made out of meat. And anything in a kitchen at all.
💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
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And pork. And beef. And anything made out of meat. And anything in a kitchen at all.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
It'd be hard to find him liable for it, though, because only a complete idiot could possibly take this clown seriously. Everyone knows you're supposed to cook meat. If you choose to eat raw meat because some moron on the Internet did it, it's like getting killed because you tried to be the guys on Jackass, or Beavis 'n' Butthead.
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2016
New videos these days:
I love the retarded look on the face of his caricature.
I love the retarded look on the face of his caricature.
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2016
You know what?
I'll let Chef John (who's... certainly interesting, but he knows cooking) explain why Jack is full of shit.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
I like that he seems to use Go-Animate when he actually had a better looking South Park ripoff a few years ago and had generally better intros as well.
To comment on the cooker video with my advanced :autism: , he opened up his review by bitching about how "hard" it was to clean out his Walmart Cooker because it wasn't detachable and able to be left in the sink (or more realistically the dishwasher). Apparently it's too hard to pour in water, some soap, and then scrub off the oil really fucking hard and then tipping it.
He also makes jokes throughout the video that I can guarantee he actually does, such as being stupid enough to wash a cooker while plugged in and only liking his sauces and seasonings because he made it. He actually segues into a lie with the latter since he claims he doesn't make stuff that he hates, which is why he made non-pickles and anti-pizza that he instantly rejected as bare basic examples.
As for the pork he tests the cooker with; it's Jack. That means he choked it to death with seasoning to hide the fact that he fucked up cooking said pork. To comment on it, this was even worse than usual for him, since he just dumped a fuckton of seasoning and just essentially made something that tasted of burning and seawater. He also again doesn't place the thermometer in the center to boot, so I reckon that it's probably undercooked, though maybe not as egregiously as usual since he actually left it in for a few hours.
He finishes the video by faking his reaction to his food once again. Seriously, when you hear him express how good it is, he acts exactly the same in every video; a few "mmms" and even the same comment. There is no passion in what he does; it is purely mechanical and fake, just like his cooking ability.
Straight Outta Cwcville
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2015
That lazy eye gets me every time
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2016
He's from California. And it's something he does for his youtube show that makes him stand out. I didn't like it until after a while. It grows on you.
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2013
"And USA is USA. Massachusetts isn't a country, okay? Hah *chuckle*, that was great."
"Mom likes ham, hee hee."
So in addition to being an irredeemable "chef" he laughs at his own jokes like an asshole. Good to know.
"Mom likes ham, hee hee."
So in addition to being an irredeemable "chef" he laughs at his own jokes like an asshole. Good to know.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
This looks delicious. What Phil made looks like ranch dressing gone rancid. I mean Jack, but he just reminds me of DipShitPhil so much.
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2016
That's not a California accent, man. Most Cali accents are boring as shit, and even the stereotypical valley girl is mostly uptalking, not this weird uptalk-then-plummet down in the middle of the sentence, then stop for a bit before resuming.
Most of that burger disaster seemed to be an assembly problem instead of anything wrong with preparation, which is kind of rare for Jack. Maybe that's because he had two other people helping him this time.
- Joined
- May 3, 2016
This is most obvious and unsettling at the start of that video imo when he is pretending to be excited about the new gadget, but he can't muster up any real enthusiasm so just says the words "hee hee"
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2016
If he wasn't so fucking lazy, I think Jack would be an alright home cook. But he's so fucking lazy, so he takes short cuts and that ruins whatever he's doing.
Also, dude eats out like 90% of the time.
Also, dude eats out like 90% of the time.
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2016
Jack eating mayo:
Aaway
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2016
he is incredibly lazy but i think the main reason he's such a god awful cook is due to the simple fact that he's a fucking dumbass. he just has no idea what he's doing
even his son doesn't think he's a good cook
DonaldChump
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
I can melt down for pages over how bad fat people are at cooking. It REALLY gets me riled up. But I know yall dont care and it's powerleveling. I cant even finish watching one of this dude's videos, they rile me up so much.
Fat motherfuckers always think more fat, more shit, more grease means more flavor, and that softer is better (they mistake softness for tenderness which is why Jack undercooks his meat), everything needs extra cheese. It's like Paula Deen's obsession with butter. They think this type of shit is a shortcut to good food.
No, good food tastes and looks good, there is no "Secret ingredient" or secret technique. That's where this dude goes wrong. He thinks he has all these special techniques or skills or utensils, and that makes his food better or gives him an edge, and this gives him a position of speaking over other people or teaching them. He thinks that instead of being a good cook making you capable of having a cooking show, he thinks having all the secret gadgets and ingredients makes you a good cook. That's dumb.
Fat motherfuckers always think more fat, more shit, more grease means more flavor, and that softer is better (they mistake softness for tenderness which is why Jack undercooks his meat), everything needs extra cheese. It's like Paula Deen's obsession with butter. They think this type of shit is a shortcut to good food.
No, good food tastes and looks good, there is no "Secret ingredient" or secret technique. That's where this dude goes wrong. He thinks he has all these special techniques or skills or utensils, and that makes his food better or gives him an edge, and this gives him a position of speaking over other people or teaching them. He thinks that instead of being a good cook making you capable of having a cooking show, he thinks having all the secret gadgets and ingredients makes you a good cook. That's dumb.
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2014
Yeah, Chef John is from Upstate New York (Buffalo maybe?).
He's a proper chef and his stuff is actually worth watching if you're into cooking (I got several recipes from his blog and they turned out to be pretty amazing.)
His commentary is pretty hit or miss, though.
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2016
Yeah, Jack is just retarded. There's plenty of lazy-man's shortcuts you can take while cooking without making something inedible or poisonous. In fact, I would watch a channel about that.
I think I'm a decent cook, but even I take shortcuts, I just make sure they're not cancerous. Hell, I have a slow cooker with a fucking risotto setting and I use that to make something good resembling risotto; I have a feeling if Jack used it he would put raw meat in it and expect it to cook with the rice.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
At this point I'd imagine he has a corner in the basement stacked to the ceiling with useless as seen on tv kitchen gadgets that he used once and either don't work or do work but are so stupid what's even the point of using them.
The nuwave oven is particularly shitty because it just burns the meat on the outside and leaves it raw on the inside but I've seen him use it on more than one occasion and he always gets awful results
The nuwave oven is particularly shitty because it just burns the meat on the outside and leaves it raw on the inside but I've seen him use it on more than one occasion and he always gets awful results