💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Spasticus Autisticus said:

View attachment 6981690

I think I've figured out the plan behind his social media sperging. He's trying to get Senpai Elon to notice him and retweet him with "concerning" or "wow". The virality of Elon retweeting him will lead to people discovering his YouTube channel, revitalizing it and bringing back the pre-2014 glory days.
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When faced with either actually making disastrous cooking videos that do get traction, since no one wants to see a fat retard sperg about chinesium pans or egg storage, or trying to become a reply guy like all other failures in life who want the fame without doing shit, Jack of course does this about 9 years too late.
 

When I think of Amish cooking I think about crushed up bagged pretzels, pineapple jello and brown sugar substitute.
(bonus: this stupid nigger thinks pizzas have to be round)
 
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Adamska said:
When faced with either actually making disastrous cooking videos that do get traction, since no one wants to see a fat retard sperg about chinesium pans or egg storage, or trying to become a reply guy like all other failures in life who want the fame without doing shit, Jack of course does this about 9 years too late.
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This asshole acts all MAGA and muh murrica and then 90% of the shit he reviews is just OEM chinkshit, often something he's reviewed before more than once from some chink outlet that just slaps their own label on something that already is sold under a dozen or more names.
a terminal posture said:
(bonus: this stupid nigger thinks pizzas have to be round)
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Somehow, this "Italian" (he's actually part camelfucker) hasn't heard of Sicilian.
 
a terminal posture said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1G-S2_WUx1U
When I think of Amish cooking I think about crushed up bagged pretzels, pineapple jello and brown sugar substitute.
(bonus: this stupid nigger thinks pizzas have to be round)
Click to expand...
Holy shit, that fucking thumbnail.

That's the site he ripped it off from, there isn't a damned amish thing about it. Of course their picture doesn't look like scabby ice cream either. Of course Fatty has to make two.

"I don't eat dessert" BULLSHIT. Also confirms he's going to fail at making a shoofly pie. Mentions "brown sugar substitute" wtf would that even be? And he's not using it, he's just using brown sugar.

Couldn't even fucking tip the bowl into the pan himself. For whatever insane reason he wants to tip it to the left... when he could have just used his left arm to tip it to the right. So we get this awkward shot of Tammy trying to help get it out of the pan from the wrong side. Couldn't even layer it in the pan on camera... he was just pushing it around then cuts after Tammy did it for him.

"powdered sugar substitute" still using sugar. So he cuts the plain gelatin in half, but then uses way more than a quarter teaspoon of salt...

HOLY FUCK I WAS WONDERING WHAT WAS WITH THAT CROOKED ON THE SPOON ROB YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD HAHA

For whatever reason Tammy can't use both hands to hold the plate and get a bite, so Fatty has to hold her plate for her. She says too much gelatin, after they already cut out a bunch of gelatin because Fatty thought it would be weird to have too much gelatin even though it doesn't hold together because he didn't use enough gelatin. It's not fucking rocket science. Also the look on Tammy's face... she looks disgusted by it. But of course Fatty isn't going to be eating this double batch baking tray of fruit pizzas...
 
a terminal posture said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1G-S2_WUx1U
When I think of Amish cooking I think about crushed up bagged pretzels, pineapple jello and brown sugar substitute.
(bonus: this stupid nigger thinks pizzas have to be round)
Click to expand...
Oof, my heart. My grandmother made a dessert like this, except actually layered with the sweetened cream cheese under the fresh sliced strawberries encased in jello.

Jack's preparation reminded me a bit of a burn wound. Mmmmmmm, flesh dessert! I bet Jack the Wendigo liked how the aesthetics turned out on this one.
 
a terminal posture said:
(bonus: this stupid nigger thinks pizzas have to be round)
Click to expand...

Look, pizza is varied enough to come up with some good but odd stuff. Like my personal favorite was from a place that did a green chili paste with feta, cherry tomatoes and shawarma on a crust that was tough enough to have to rip a bite off. But if Jack's going to deny the existence of Detroit-style pizza, which some say is God's chosen, I hope he has his fourth sixth seventh stroke on livestream and Jr is too loud yelling the nigger word at kids in Call of Duty to hear Jack's cries for help.
 
Super Hans v2 said:
Look, pizza is varied enough to come up with some good but odd stuff. Like my personal favorite was from a place that did a green chili paste with feta, cherry tomatoes and shawarma on a crust that was tough enough to have to rip a bite off. But if Jack's going to deny the existence of Detroit-style pizza, which some say is God's chosen, I hope he has his fourth sixth seventh stroke on livestream and Jr is too loud yelling the nigger word at kids in Call of Duty to hear Jack's cries for help.
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I'm a New York style guy through and through, but even I cannot deny how amazing Detroit-style pizza is.
 
p1138 said:
Holy shit, that fucking thumbnail.

That's the site he ripped it off from, there isn't a damned amish thing about it. Of course their picture doesn't look like scabby ice cream either. Of course Fatty has to make two.

"I don't eat dessert" BULLSHIT. Also confirms he's going to fail at making a shoofly pie. Mentions "brown sugar substitute" wtf would that even be? And he's not using it, he's just using brown sugar.

Couldn't even fucking tip the bowl into the pan himself. For whatever insane reason he wants to tip it to the left... when he could have just used his left arm to tip it to the right. So we get this awkward shot of Tammy trying to help get it out of the pan from the wrong side. Couldn't even layer it in the pan on camera... he was just pushing it around then cuts after Tammy did it for him.

"powdered sugar substitute" still using sugar. So he cuts the plain gelatin in half, but then uses way more than a quarter teaspoon of salt...

HOLY FUCK I WAS WONDERING WHAT WAS WITH THAT CROOKED ON THE SPOON ROB YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD HAHA

For whatever reason Tammy can't use both hands to hold the plate and get a bite, so Fatty has to hold her plate for her. She says too much gelatin, after they already cut out a bunch of gelatin because Fatty thought it would be weird to have too much gelatin even though it doesn't hold together because he didn't use enough gelatin. It's not fucking rocket science. Also the look on Tammy's face... she looks disgusted by it. But of course Fatty isn't going to be eating this double batch baking tray of fruit pizzas...
Click to expand...

He butchered the fuck out of that recipe, per usual. His glaze was liquid, in the recipe it states to let it thicken. Even in the picture they show that it is layered on top and you can tell it is a thick spreadable glaze. They didn't mix the fruit with the cream cheese mixture. Jack's looks like he poured water over a scuffed Ambrosia Salad.

Maybe I'm missing something with Tammy's shirt, but isn't it supposed to be XOXO and not OXOX?

Look at the state of his arm. Jesus H. It looks like the arm of a zombie.
68d0b2af253a46033428c97dc1e00231.png
 
p1138 said:
Also the look on Tammy's face... she looks disgusted by it. But of course Fatty isn't going to be eating this double batch baking tray of fruit pizzas...
Click to expand...
It must taste absolutely repulsive. Amish do make sweet dishes, maybe to compensate for their rejection of modern culture. And while I haven't converted to Amish, look at the fucking state of modern culture. Can you blame the Amish for looking at this shit and noping out on it? Nope, let's just do what's worked for centuries.

The Amish apparently do sometimes make something with fruit and bake it, and whatever, fuck it, I'm not excusing it, they don't do anything like this monstrosity, and I am enraged by the mere sight of this piece of shit. What the fuck did he put in this?

This man is committing genocide.

He only is able to do this because the Amish are pacifists. Otherwise they'd go to his house and chop him up with axes along with his worthless family.

This evil fuck had every possible ethnicity in the world to insult and he chose the Amish. Why?

Is it just because they're not generally on the Internet so he thought he could get away with it?

What an evil fuck.
 
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