Seems autism and a lack of proper socializing gives them the bizarre idea of gender as a feeling and imposed role of society. They never want to think about biology since it goes against their beliefs.
Also found some interesting comments:
"I'm a non-binary man, and some might feel that that makes me an odd candidate to offer advice on getting clarity about this topic. But I'm empathetic to that AuDHD life-- living it with you, brother-- and so I figure I'll just share my order of operations.
The setup: [man] and [woman] are labels we (humans, collectively) engineered for our own usage. Since their inception, they've taken on TONS of cultural baggage, some of which has a lot of positive potential, and some of which is absolute toxic waste. This is fine. The entirety of human language is a big imperfect tool, and will continue to be for as long as I can imagine. This imperfection gives us a lot of wiggle room to employ these terms in the ways that best serve us, and to practice extracting them from the toxic slime as much as can be done.
Metaphysically, before all else, I am **me**. And I, the individual, **feel better** when people refer to my person as [man] than I do when they wrongly specify [woman]. The reasons for that preference aren't necessarily based on my interests, nor my appearance, nor whether my feelings match a given [man] template. All I know is that [man] feels good, and [woman] does not. Hence, I am a man-- one with artsy inclinations and long hair, one with a scruffy goatee, one who applies makeup, one who loves fish... There are men who have none of those feelings in common with me, and yet, we are each men. All that myself and said hypothetical man share in relation to our gender is the sense of correctness that [man] describes us-- and, in my case, still a little imperfectly. And so I sprinkle the nb juice on.
Hope my rambling is helpful in any way."
"I think there's no one way. Something one guy would feel is the peak of manhood ( manness? masculinity?whatever) might not have any feelings or value attached for another guy.
I don't know how much neurodivergence is the influencing factor and how much the difference between people and their formative experiences is a factor.
Maybe generally being neurodivergent does bring with it a tendency to examine ourselves more in some aspects, cause our own perceptions don't line up well with what we're told is "reality".
Like, I can get really hung up on shit. For example, I'll have a conversation and then I'll spend ages afterwards picking it apart to analyse tone and vibe and words used and all the things, cause I don't have an intuitive understanding of how other people work. I have to map that shit out or I get lost. The other person, who is neurotypical, might not need that process.
Gender is similar for me. My intuitive understanding isn't great, so I keep circling back to figure out how the puzzle fits. Someone who just starts with a full picture might never go through that process to the same degree."
Obviously not all people on the spectrum fall into this, but it's amazing how many of them do now.
What is gender to these people?
