Motherhood & Parenting Thread - AKA: Why is my daughter eating my chapstick?

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Stan

New York Magazine Contributor
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 2, 2021
Hi Gals,

I did not see a similar thread for this. Can we please trade parenting tips? Like maybe how to redirect your child from things that make bad toys. How to encourage your child to try new things. How to communicate with your children. Things you think you did well, lessons learned.

Thanks in advance,
STAN

AKA: Why is my daughter eating my chapstick?​

For the subheader and specific problem, my 20 months old girl child is obsessed with my chapsticks and tries to play with them and eat them every chance she gets. I keep her away from it but it's a "toy" she gets hung up on and fusses over when I take it away. Any tips on redirecting a two year old who really wants to do something dumb?
 
my 20 months old girl child is obsessed with my chapsticks and tries to play with them and eat them every chance she gets
Give her wood blocks to play with. She's clearly interested in shapes right now and she won't know the difference immediately.
Hape-Maple-Wood-Kids-Building-Blocks-Hape-Toy-Market-44373910_533x.jpg
 

AKA: Why is my daughter eating my chapstick?​

For the subheader and specific problem, my 20 months old girl child is obsessed with my chapsticks and tries to play with them and eat them every chance she gets. I keep her away from it but it's a "toy" she gets hung up on and fusses over when I take it away. Any tips on redirecting a two year old who really wants to do something dumb?
never had kids, but give her one of these bad boys
1738548399335.png
 

AKA: Why is my daughter eating my chapstick?​

For the subheader and specific problem, my 20 months old girl child is obsessed with my chapsticks and tries to play with them and eat them every chance she gets. I keep her away from it but it's a "toy" she gets hung up on and fusses over when I take it away. Any tips on redirecting a two year old who really wants to do something dumb?
You just have to keep them out of her reach. Look to see what ‘action’ she does with the chapstick.
- if she’s chewing it, divert to something similar size and shape that she can safely chew on.
- if she’s opening it, then she’s intrigued by the action that goes ‘it comes apart and there’s stuff inside!’ Find a safe toy that does the same.
But mainly, you’re just in the stage where they will get hold of stuff they shouldn’t and you have to keep it out their reach.
The joy when you eventually hit the stage they don’t try to ingest random items is immense.
 
But still we make sure we know the Heimlich just in case...

I think my eldest got the youngest to try and eat a marble, and of course it got stuck.. now he knows better
I love when you ask kids they WHY they do this and you get a convoluted explanation as the doc digs around up their nose or in their ear as to why it was absolutely, completely, the logical thing to do.
 
I love when you ask kids they WHY they do this and you get a convoluted explanation as the doc digs around up their nose or in their ear as to why it was absolutely, completely, the logical thing to do.
Mine doesn’t talk much yet but I’m looking forward to these loopy explanations.

I think it’s both the open-the-cap-wow-there’s something inside factor and an imitation factor because she observes me and her dad applying chapstick on the lips, and she’s mimicking what she thinks we are doing.

Mostly yes I need to keep this stuff out of her reach. Sometimes it’s items you didn’t expect you’d need to hide. I also have to hide the body lotion on a very high shelf in between uses.
 
she’s mimicking what she thinks we are doing.
There are probably toddler safe chunky wooden make up / hairdressing sets - maybe get her one of those and make a fuss of her when she uses that instead of yours?
It gets harder when you’ve got older kids who have small-parts-included toys and a toddler, those few years were fairly tiring making sure nobody ate things.
Le Toy Van and Melissa and Doug have that style of stuff and I’m sure there’s more options your side of the pond
 
But still we make sure we know the Heimlich just in case...

I think my eldest got the youngest to try and eat a marble, and of course it got stuck.. now he knows better
My mum has, somewhere in her house, a small ball bearing my sister persuaded me to swallow. Probably 7-9mm in diameter.

Our mam had to make sure it came out by,well,y'know, rummaging about in my poops for a few days post swallow.
 
I love when you ask kids they WHY they do this and you get a convoluted explanation as the doc digs around up their nose or in their ear as to why it was absolutely, completely, the logical thing to do.

In all honesty kid logic (tm) is one of my favorite things about tiny humans - but if I had ever maneuvered one of my younger siblings into almost choking on a marble, my mother would have enacted diplomatic incidents upon my person to make the assassination of prince Ferdinand look like a wet fart.

Ultimately, I found that the only solution to the eating-everything stage was to be super fastidious about putting things away where babies couldn't reach. There really isn't a direct substitute, so you just have to think in terms of proximate harm - assuming there are no incredibly toxic ingredients in your chapstick, it's unlikely to do much in the long run.

Just gonna leave this here:
Poison Control Center (U.S.)
1-800-222-1222

I've called the poison control center a few times in a panic with my firstborn; turns out babies eat chapstick/ hand lotion/ diaper cream, ummm... a lot. Main point is that unless it's got some kind of prescribed active ingredient, most household cosmetic-type stuff is just gonna give them the shits at worst. But feel free to call them at any stage if you want reassurance directly! Take it from me, they're used to dealing with panicked moms whose LOs have gone buck wild on the diaper bag.

I love being a mom, personally. It's the most exhausting and by far the worst paid job I've ever had, and it makes you excruciatingly vulnerable in ways you couldn't have imagined. Also there are no days off, ever. Or toilet breaks. You have to deal with people motorboating your crotch at the grocery store, because *those* people came out of it. You get snot rubbed deep into the fabric of your favorite bedshirt, while they simultaneously poke you in the eyeball and twist your earlobe, at 3:17am, because apparently that makes them feel better. You worry more than you previously thought yourself capable of. There's an upside in here somewhere, I swear- oh yeah, the doofuses themselves

:story:

God love 'em, the little goblins. They're still worth it. But anyone who tells you it's easy either has a nanny or is a fucking liar.
 
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Do you think someone can be born evil?

For my whole life I didn't think so. I thought a twisted personality came from daddy walking out, abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, etc. Now, I'm not so sure.

I have close family member. He and his wife are amazing. Good looking, smart, warm personalities, great jobs, worldly, just genuinely awesome people. Their only child son not so much. He was weird as a child, but I figured eh children can be weird as shit, they grow out of it. As a little kid he would hit his mom (she took the gentle parenting route, which i thought was retarded, but it's easy to criticize when you aren't in the arena). He cried a lot and never seemed to experience joy or passion for anything. Now he's 13. He is so aloof and apathetic, I can't trace any of his traits to his parents. Never smiles big, never wants to make a decision in anything, just lets the world happen to him. He saw a woman screaming and being attacked outside his house and was just like whatever. He's always playing with lighters and throwing axes in his backyard. I've never heard him make a big laugh, get excited... never. He changes the whole mood of the room. He is quiet and mumbles, never communicates directly. I can tell he is highly intelligent and doesn't apply himself. He honestly scares me and others that know him like in a creepy way. Like if I found out he was a school shooter one day I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest.

He's absolutely ruined their life. They would never say this. But I can just tell. I think parenting is an act of shedding yourself to let in something new. I always thought it was a worthy trade. You give up your time, resources, energy, and life for a child that can experience joy, love, the pursuit of making oneself whole. But what if the child is vacuous, joyless? It's obvious he will never have love, that their blood line will end with him. I think having a only child is a mistake and should be avoided, but it can't explain this. It's seriously fucked me up because I'm having second thoughts about starting a family.

Anyone have any advice/thoughts?
 
@behavioral swamp thang

I do think some people are just born wrong, for lack of a better word. Some mental disorders are innate (not necessarily inherited directly from the parents, but they are "born that way"). Of course, bad parenting can make it worse, but it's not like there's a way to fix people who fundamentally lack the ability to feel certain basic human emotions. Best case scenario, they'll manage to hold down a job and avoid committing crimes because they don't want to go to prison. Worst case, you have a We Need to Talk About Kevin scenario on your hands.

And yeah, it's just something you risk when you have kids. You (or your wife if you're a man) could also die in childbirth, have postpartum psychosis, or your kid could be born a potato. It's unlikely that any of that will happen, but it's always a possibility. Imo it's not something most people should be worried about, but it's something to keep in mind, I guess.
 
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Do you think anthro media makes kids into furries, or am I paranoid after being too online and peering into furry depravity? Every furry seems to talk about how some childhood anthro media was their awakening. Should we keep kids away from this media? Is there "safe" anthro children's media, or is it all the same? How do you tell what's ok for kids to consume? As an adult, I notice so much weird shit now that I just thought was normal or "jokes" as a kid.

2131.webp
 
Do you think anthro media makes kids into furries, or am I paranoid after being too online and peering into furry depravity?
That's their purpose. I saw furry accounts openly celebrating they will get "new meat" into the community.
Should we keep kids away from this media?
Absolutely
Is there "safe" anthro children's media, or is it all the same?
Not sure why'd you risk it honestly. Zootopia is "equality utopia", smurfs are based on communism, robin hood is based on criminality, snow white on rape, 5 bears on treehugging etc ..
How do you tell what's ok for kids to consume?
Nothing that's on tv, youtube&co or any of other social sites.
As an adult, I notice so much weird shit now that I just thought was normal or "jokes" as a kid.
Cool, but it was always about preemptive programming.
Kids are impressionable and don't have reasoning skills to identify what is what. I see no purpose to expose the child to one of brain melting shows that gets occasional programming snippets when you are not looking at i.
 
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