🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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So...Dick does not want Ralph to come over, Ralph claims he's going to go anyway. Chances are slim but I can't believe we're on the path to have Ralph being arrested or maybe potentially shot. It's strange that after a flight from Mexico and therefore probably sober for at least 12 hours and without his pills he still seems completely fucked up.

Oh hey, Dicks show starts in literally one minute. I guess if Ralph decides to party crash tonight we'll know about it pretty immediately.
 
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AncientPhosphur said:
Yeah he’s not turning on Dick. Ralph is a bitch confirmed. He’s scared. Flaccid hollering at best.

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Blue Miaplacidus said:
He has started the year off strong several years in a row now. You can set your watch by his cycles. Seriously go back to last January or the one before that and see what was kicking off.

Jan 2023 was the Rome trip when his "whore" wife absconded with his Child after he got forcibly removed from an airplane.
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Jan 2024 was when in a Xanax haze abused the Mexican escort he couldn't even communicate with without google translate while trying to portray her as the next love of his life on twitter.
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Ralph always starts the year with a bang and then fizzles out.
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”Memories
of the corners of my mind
misty water colored memories
of the way we were.”
 
Mr E. Grifter said:
I wonder how bad things have to get for this to start effecting Ralph's visitation, and parental rights.

You've got to feel for Xander, probably excited to see his dad for the first time in what must seem like forever - and at best he's going to turn up hungover, in unclean clothes with cuts and scrapes all over him. If he keeps getting exposed to this he might end up with a complex.

Ralph is now in a full blown BPD spiral after being rejected by Dick, because Dick needs to make sure his pregnant girlfriend isn't exposed to a drug addict who sleeps in mexican airport bathrooms.
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Edit:
We need more... We need more...
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Ralph thinks he’s a star! That’s the funniest thing he’s said, and the stars that abused drugs, or fucked women ended up dead like belushi or ruined like fatty arbuckle.
 
Ralph's one-sided friendship with Dick Masterson has been the one constant in his life these last few years. I don't think he'd willingly sacrifice that for any perceived slight. If he did then he'd have to contend with the fact that he is truly alone in the world. He doesn't have the courage to face that.
 
Malaika said:
I can't believe we're on the path to have Ralph being arrested or maybe potentially shot.
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Ralph would love nothing more than suicide by cop/a-log. He's too much of a egotistical maniac and pussy to actually kill himself, so he'll have someone else do it for him instead. It also feeds into his delusions of being a real (WEST) Memphis nigga via getting shot on someone else's property while dancing and screaming. As for getting arrested, Ralph has stated multiple times on his show he assumes he'll end up in jail/dead so IMO it's not surprising as much as it is exciting to see the prophecy (hopefully) be fulfilled.
 
Attention, Ethan Ralph is Quiting
This is not a test.
 

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The cops and civs are going to be extra tense due to the LA fires/looting. I can see his ass getting beat. But he's probally just sleeping.
 
InterestRateHawk said:
All quiet on the gunted front. Maybe he's passed out on a nice strip of cardboard after his 36 hour bender?
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The Ambien fairy kissed our sweet prince goodnight. While we wait for him to rise and shine, here's a clip from yesterday where Dick Molesterson and Vito the Pedo talk about him.
Piggertits bombarded Dick with text messages to set up the blood sports event against Milo. Dick didn't want to do it because he was afraid of him committing suicide and making a big greasy mess in his mansion.
When Vito mentions the last time Piggertits visited Dick he rolls his eyes and says that he was at the precipice of death.

 
SEKTUR NEWS ALERT ON THE STATE OF ETHAN RALPH.

I don't speak fluent wet brain, but I can confirm Ralph is still not sober more than 8 hours after his last tweet.
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It's unclear if this is talking about a previous incident, or whether he went back to Tijuana today and got into a fight.
 
Rage Pig said:
The Ambien fairy kissed our sweet prince goodnight. While we wait for him to rise and shine, here's a clip from yesterday where Dick Molesterson and Vito the Pedo talk about him.
Piggertits bombarded Dick with text messages to set up the blood sports event against Milo. Dick didn't want to do it because he was afraid of him committing suicide and making a big greasy mess in his mansion.
When Vito mentions the last time Piggertits visited Dick he rolls his eyes and says that he was at the precipice of death.

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Why does Vito look like a character from bo selecta?

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Mr E. Grifter said:
SEKTUR NEWS ALERT ON THE STATE OF ETHAN RALPH.

I don't speak fluent wet brain, but I can confirm Ralph is still not sober more than 8 hours after his last tweet.
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It's unclear if this is talking about a previous incident, or whether he went back to Tijuana today and got into a fight.
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How the fuck is he fighting bouncers in Tijuana if he's supposed to be in California? The Ralphamale can be anywhere at once I guess.
 
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