💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 901 57.9%
  • Total voters
    1,555
To be fair to Jack, his current diet doesn't lead itself to easy holiday recipes.
He can't do some sweet meme concoction like he would in the past.
Now, he could do something that require effort, like a carnivore beef wellington or Scrooge's Christmas goose, but that would require effort.
 
Quixotic Man said:
To be fair to Jack, his current diet doesn't lead itself to easy holiday recipes.
He can't do some sweet meme concoction like he would in the past.
Now, he could do something that require effort, like a carnivore beef wellington or Scrooge's Christmas goose, but that would require effort.
Click to expand...
He surprised himself cooking a goose, because "more flavor than chicken"

He's done a beef wellington before that wasn't "CARNUHVORE", but his idea of carnivore with regard to a beef wellington would be utterly fucking revolting with his meat flour scrambled egg and cream cheese "dough" recipes he's come up with in the past.
 
merrychristmas.png
 
p1138 said:
He surprised himself cooking a goose, because "more flavor than chicken"
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Lv6DSIyFD8M
He's done a beef wellington before that wasn't "CARNUHVORE", but his idea of carnivore with regard to a beef wellington would be utterly fucking revolting with his meat flour scrambled egg and cream cheese "dough" recipes he's come up with in the past.
Click to expand...
Oh, I agree it would be horrible, but at least it would either be funny or disgusting, unlike trying some chicken nuggets he supposedly doesn't even eat.

Edit: Its also amazing how much better Jack looked and sounded three years ago. I guess that was before the last big stroke, but Jesus, its almost enough to make me slightly sympathetic towards him.
 
TheMovieGuy said:
Jack you fuckin amoeba it's Christmas! Post a fucking video of you Tammy eating some special Christmas themed meal/dessert from a local place!!!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Uj5ASy3XfHM
No archive cause I'm stealing the kebab shop wifi rn :coom:
Click to expand...
"Everybody's raving about this jalapeno honey sauce."
Jack, you fat bastard, no one is raving about a damn Taco Bell sauce.

Edit: "Ooey gooey."
This man is INT -2.

Edit +2: There are NINE MORE NUGGETS and Hammy still chooses to stick a finger into the sauce and suck it off. Her doing that at this point is as ubiquitous as Jack giraffe tonguing everything he eats.
 
Last edited:
TheMovieGuy said:
Jack you fuckin amoeba it's Christmas! Post a fucking video of you Tammy eating some special Christmas themed meal/dessert from a local place!!!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Uj5ASy3XfHM
No archive cause I'm stealing the kebab shop wifi rn :coom:
Click to expand...
His wife seems so miserable, not that I blame her. I don't follow Jack that closely but there was a point where I kind of felt sorry for him. He just wants his beast of a wife to eat some nuggies for his dumb youtube channel and she can't even act enthused.

From what I do know about Jack is that he's a pretty consistent asshole so I guess I don't blame Tammy too much.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
His wife seems so miserable, not that I blame her. I don't follow Jack that closely but there was a point where I kind of felt sorry for him. He just wants his beast of a wife to eat some nuggies for his dumb youtube channel and she can't even act enthused.

From what I do know about Jack is that he's a pretty consistent asshole so I guess I don't blame Tammy too much.
Click to expand...

TamHam can get fucked too, she's just as much of a spiteful cunt, if not moreso. When Jack was on that podcast where he told the story of him throttling Garrett for smoking weed, she was positively beaming with pride.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
His wife seems so miserable, not that I blame her. I don't follow Jack that closely but there was a point where I kind of felt sorry for him. He just wants his beast of a wife to eat some nuggies for his dumb youtube channel and she can't even act enthused.

From what I do know about Jack is that he's a pretty consistent asshole so I guess I don't blame Tammy too much.
Click to expand...
She's miserable because she wants to be. At this point anything Fatty does has to involve her, and all she has to do is say no. His 5,000 calorie a day diet, his extra food snuck into the nursing home because he claimed they starved him, all of the groceries, hell most of his cooking videos couldn't be done without her. When Fatty was talking about damn near killing his older son on a podcast she sat there basically grinning the whole time.

If anything, Fatty is the way he is because of Tammy, not the other way around.
 
Their sex life is great, though: Jack asks for sex, Tammy says "We just had sex, Jack - Remember? It was great." And then Jack self-consciously stammers, "Oh...uh...right. Did we? Yeah, I knew that....Yeah. That's why there's shit in my penis." Jack begins beaming and drooling over what a great lover he is, before frowning as he struggles to remember what he was just thinking of. He then resumes the beaming and drooling because his thoughts turn to Mickey Mouse. He gives Mickey an A+.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
His wife seems so miserable, not that I blame her. I don't follow Jack that closely but there was a point where I kind of felt sorry for him. He just wants his beast of a wife to eat some nuggies for his dumb youtube channel and she can't even act enthused.

From what I do know about Jack is that he's a pretty consistent asshole so I guess I don't blame Tammy too much.
Click to expand...
I feel no sympathy for Hammy. She willingly married this asshole. She stood by while he choked out his first son. And she goes along with his larp of being a cooking channel.

She made her bed and she needs to lie in it.
 
Tammy is the only other person I've ever seen who does exactly what Jack does, stick their tongue all the way out of their mouth when they're going to take a bite. Jack found his soulmate, two pieces of trash from the same can.
 
Falcon Sebben said:
I feel no sympathy for Hammy. She willingly married this asshole. She stood by while he choked out his first son. And she goes along with his larp of being a cooking channel.

She made her bed and she needs to lie in it.
Click to expand...
The only reason I feel she even still sticks around is because she is the one who stands to lose everything if she divorces Jack. She is the one with the income, and Jack is fully crippled to the point he can't take care of himself on his own. Let alone actually go out and work for a living. It isn't hard to see which one the court system will likely side with to award a hefty settlement.

Her best way out at this point is just to continue enabling Jack until the clogged grease trap he calls a heart final gives out on him.
 
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