🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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notfoodienotbeauty said:
So she showed us all the junk she bought her mom, but where are the gifts for her dad an brother, the ones she was crying about two weeks ago? It's almost like she just wanted pity and doesn't really care about them.
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Out of sight, out of mind.

Plus, she has to constantly pay off her caretakers so they keep showing up to lug her around for "content".

Which is why you won't hear her mentioning any gifts she ordered to be delivered to Emily; if she can't physically rub her greasy mitts all over it and show her audience how THOUGHTFUL she is and be on-screen with the gifts, she won't do it.

And because she's too lazy and dumb to figure out how to ship/mail a gift without someone at even the level of Benzo Becky to do it for her, she'll never do that either.
 
It's always fun when a fatty is like, "Why am I fat? I eat vegetables!" and then you find out they're coating some poor healthy greenery in cream cheese and bacon bits!

One tablespoon of cream cheese is 50 calories
One tablespoon of butter is 102 calories

So I guess it could be worse? (I won't go all Susan Powter and show the fat percentages for each thing...oh hell they're the same if anyone's keeping score)
 
Lazy eyed lynn
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Amber is such a dainty 600lb little picky eater, she just had a teeny tiny nibble on a chikkun nuggets and then gets the ick and throws aaaalll the food away you guise. She is totally grossed out by it! She has sooooo many quirky quirks when it comes to food because she is soooo dainty, basically anorexic.

Seriously bish, we see you. You are FAT, everyone knows you inhale food without even chewing when the camera isn't on. Not fooling anybody with this weird acting. I wouldn't be surprised if she regularly raids trashcans for food with how much she's overcompensating with this weird "omg the jar didn't pop, so icky! omg the oil is one day past expiration, sooo gross!" charade.
 
Lidl Drip said:
Amber is such a dainty 600lb little picky eater, she just had a teeny tiny nibble on a chikkun nuggets and then gets the ick and throws aaaalll the food away you guise. She is totally grossed out by it! She has sooooo many quirky quirks when it comes to food because she is soooo dainty, basically anorexic.

Seriously bish, we see you. You are FAT, everyone knows you inhale food without even chewing when the camera isn't on. Not fooling anybody with this weird acting. I wouldn't be surprised if she regularly raids trashcans for food with how much she's overcompensating with this weird "omg the jar didn't pop, so icky! omg the oil is one day past expiration, sooo gross!" charade.
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This is what I find so bizarre. Amber needs to eat as much as Chantal to maintain her weight. Eating dainty little bites is purely performative. I think that, in general, Chantal eats large meals, but Amber probably does not and instead binge. Regardless, obviously both eat far more than they need and for them talking of dieting is utterly nonsensical.
 
Cornfed said:
So bacon wrapped cream cheese is it? Good Lord, we are at state fair levels of fart slop eating. Id say to just batter and deep fry it, but she is way too lazy to go that extra mile.
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No, this is state fair/fail level of slop. S.o should suggest it to her. Unfortunately,from Texas.
 
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Most U.S. clinics have a 24 hour cancellation policy. If we know which hospital she went to I can look into it.

It seems suspicious because in most cases, when medical staff cancels an appointment on the same day, it's due to a key staff member or doctor being unavailable. Unless the doctor called out 20 minutes before her appointment specifically, they would likely have contacted Amber or Mamalynn to inform them of the cancellation before they arrived at the clinic.

Coincidentally, most hospitals in the US advise patients to arrive 15 minutes early as a standard practice. This makes me think they likely discovered the appointment was "canceled" when they arrived so It’s possible they got the date or time wrong, or Mamalynn received a call about it and forgot... Anyways, I don't trust Hammy when it comes to navigating the healthcare system, she is a massive doctor hopper so I wouldn't be surprised if the was trying to manipulate the medical staff and doctors in her favor.
 


Vlogmas Part 23: Boring as fuck

Almost done almost done, Vlogmas is almost over. Good to see though that Hambo is leaning more and more into the freak show angle with these thumbnails.


tl:dw: Opening shot of poop bun looking even shittier than usual-
Poop² Bun​
Claims that she did things in Wisconsin, just didn't film them (uhuh fatty). Before she shows us what she got her grandma for Christmas, we are once more assailed with her shitty attempt at ASMR when she clacks her floral foam looking claws against the camera. Spergs about her couch explaining that it's a pillow-based couch. "And in replace of that", "One gift has not came yet", My sincerest condolences to the English language. For her grandma, she got a Cat Crossing sign, cat ice cube mold, another cat themed sign, cat purse, a cat calendar, Bad Kitty card game, cat necklace. For her grandma's boyfriend, she got a fancy big Bonnie & Pop tin of chocolates (that she once again clacks her ratty nails on).

Next, she stuffs all the gifts in some buggy and torments us with even more ASMR, this time of her deep chugging some coke zero. Then we get to fatty eating Taco Bell chicken nuggets. Boring food review of junk food that I don't care to go into detail of. In any case, fatty is surprised that chicken nuggets, usually made from meat slush, don't contain any tendons or something like that. Fatty tastes something weird, acts dainty and then pretends like she's not gonna hork down the rest later anyway. Finds something "gray and slimy" and puts the rest of them away in a manner not too dissimiliar to how she tossed an entire sandwich made with deli meat and artisanal bread all those years ago. Shows off fanart and that's the end.
Make the tit crevasse longer and then you'll have the iconic fold junction​

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Her nails are starting to make me aggressive.
 
Maybe I just don't understand nutrition like she does, but why does a dainty corky gorl who is CrEePeD oUt by "chunks of meat" keep buying food that consists of... chunks of meat?
 
Boolean Bitch said:
Maybe she does it so she can then push that person for favours, and then throw it in their face that she gave them all of this expensive clothing when they try to refuse?
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Agreed. That's exactly the kind of manipulation that's within Amber's ability.

Boolean Bitch said:
What do you think her end goal is with just postponing the relationship until the spring?
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I don't think this was entirely Amber's choice. I think Emily had no idea the amount of garbage that Amber was going to bring with her. Emily seems to like her home neat and uncluttered and I can only imagine the amount of detritus she came home to after work every day. When Emily went to visit Amber, Amber was on her best behaviour. I don't think Emily had a clue what she was letting herself in for with weeks of Amber calling her every half hour wanting to know when she'd be home, sulking because Emily needed to sleep and generally just being Amber.

If the relationship continues, it will be Emily visiting Amber, not the other way around.

notfoodienotbeauty said:
but where are the gifts for her dad an brother,
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Not that Amber would care to find out, but you can't just mail whatever you want to a jail/prison.

Mekahineyho said:
remember like 4 times during the Jade era, the appointment she was going to got canceled 15 minutes before and now it’s happened to her mom.
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It's the Amber alert system. When a car containing Amber is 20 minutes out, a silent alarm is triggered at the doctor's office. Then the person who failed to meet their obligation to their colleagues that week (did not refill coffee pot, skipped out on their turn to stock the cookie jar, that grody fuck that leaves chewed pencils lying around) has to make the call.
 
Seems like Big Al the cat killer is ramping up the feeder bait. I don't think fed Bundy has officially called off the relationship or anything, but I'm sure she is stringing along Big Al for whenever she might need her. Shes probably not giving her as much attention and thats why the feeder shit is ramping up even more than it was. It's so obvious this is not a real relationship, but Big Al the cat killer is literally room temp retarded so she has no idea. Or maybe deep down you do know no one gives a fuck about you Al lol
 
Mekahineyho said:
Have we considered Amber being the pokemon Slaking? In his description it says “It only moves around when there is no more food within reach for it to eat.”

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Sorry for Pokémon sperg but decidedly not, Slaking is very strong (base attack of 160, easily within top 20) can learn a variety of different moves and is capable of running if it needs to.
tenor (3).gif

Its base speed is actually fairly decent, being tied with the likes of Charizard, Salamence and Ninetales.

Meanwhile, our gorl is too weak to sleep lying down because her fat would crush her lungs, has never displayed any mental fortitude by learning anything (dropping out of a scammy for profit college and her shitty wattpads), and the best she can do is her fatty shuffle pseudo run (which is actually walking).
run fatty.gif
 
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