A month ago today, I woke up, had my breakfast, walked the dog, looked out the window, and realized I was trans.
Some part of me has never felt completely like a man, there’s always been a disconnect between me and being male. It’s only in the last few months, though, that I really started to come around to the idea that I’m not cisgender. I went back and forth in my mind, and until that morning, every time I thought I might be, my mind came up with excuses why I wasn’t: I don’t think I’m strong enough to be trans. I don’t deserve to be. I’d only be taking attention away from other people who are suffering more than I am. It’s a bad time to come out.
But that morning, it was like turning a page. For the first time, all my doubts about it were gone, and I knew. It was one of the most profound and freeing moments of my life.
I don’t know exactly what my gender is at the moment. Right now, I’m trying out being gender non-conforming, but I may be non-binary, agender, demi-male, or something else. I know, though, that I’m not cis and never was.
I’ve been semi-public about it since the beginning of the month, and I’ve been blessed enough to be accepted with open arms by my immediate family, my friends, and my associates online. There’s only been one person so far who threw transphobic hate at me, and that person and I are no longer in contact. I recognize that I’ve been unfathomably fortunate in that regard, and that the vast majority of my trans, non-binary, and non-conforming siblings have it immeasurably harder than I do.
It’s bad out there, and it will get worse. But we are human beings, we are brave, strong, beautiful people who decide on our own identities, and we will not disappear, no matter how they hate us or what they do to us. We exist, we deserve to exist, and we will always exist. Never let yourself believe otherwise.
On this day, remember. Remember our fallen, who couldn’t live in a world where they couldn’t be themselves. Remember those taken from us too soon. Remember those still struggling with their own journeys, and with a world that hates and fears them. Remember that despite all the bigotry and violence, the lives we live are worth fighting for.
Just think about it: the mere fact that we exist terrifies them, so just continuing to exist is a powerful act of defiance.
So keep existing, and keep defying.
We shall overcome, and we shall be free. - BHS
I'd like to believe he DFE'd because he's finally hit the regret stage and is de-transitioning. Pretty sure he's fucked his gainz forever though after all the horse-piss he's ingested.
