🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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'Ole Dente said:
I knew it at the time. I was being careful, I’d head in every hour and a half or so.

Makes you think though if Cobra decides to not be a shut in and get all fuckin twisted this holiday season, I hope he doesn’t die from passing out in some snow drift.
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He’ll just be hibernating for the winter like puffers
 
bookers said:
Need to get Darflinny to make cobra a sword. Or maybe a battle axe.
Safer than a gun but could also be used to slay any evil bogwitches that show up at the trailer
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King Cobra for King Cobra simple as
 
A sword is probably safer for everyone involved than a blind idiot firing a shotgun at random birds and rocks. That sword is pretty fucking sick too tmdwu toobz
 
Jobama said:
Something like this?
View attachment 6559856
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Oh my god could you imagine him walking around wearing this like a samurai, smoking his pipe, wearing his fucking hat and his little ozzy ozbourne glasses. Im retarded and I was as autistic as he is when I was a teenager so I know theres a chance he would wear it. Trolls should get him cool shit like this instead of handles of Burnetts.
 
Durkadurkadurka said:
How long before our boy starts drinking mouthwash and claims it’s healthy?
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Won't happen because as far as I'm aware, mouthwash doesn't have alcohol in these days. But I won't be shocked or surprised when he starts doing substitutes to his regular alcohol, we've already seen him huff cologne. I also won't be shocked or surprised if he starts doing X because a troll told him it'll get him shitfaced.
Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:
How did I not know m'lord was producing such fine garments. Also is he not making wands anymore I need stocking stuffers for my family.
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He hasn't made juans in years at this point and the 500 dollar commission people have been talking about hasn't seen the light of day, the poor woman who paid 500 dollars for a Cobra wand is at most getting the knife NAL sent back (at 7:27) after she put it in her cooch.
 
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Lei Wulong's Left Leg said:
Lookin' like at least 4, 'toobz. Did he already finish the bag?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Gxzru-_ZoaI
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Christ he's completely sloshed in this video. The drink sneeze at the end was just perfect though. He must have polished that drink off and passed out hard. It's sort of a let down that we aren't getting these highly intoxicated moments of Cobes on livestreams anymore. Anyone know why that might be? It's been over 2 weeks since the last stream.
 
BallBuster II said:
Christ he's completely sloshed in this video. The drink sneeze at the end was just perfect though. He must have polished that drink off and passed out hard. It's sort of a let down that we aren't getting these highly intoxicated moments of Cobes on livestreams anymore. Anyone know why that might be? It's been over 2 weeks since the last stream.
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After that blackout livestream sometime in December I think right before he lost the apartment I think clint had a talk with him about getting too drunk on livestream. In that live he got so drunk he fell down and hit his head.
 
._. said:
Oh my god could you imagine him walking around wearing this like a samurai, smoking his pipe, wearing his fucking hat and his little ozzy ozbourne glasses. Im retarded and I was as autistic as he is when I was a teenager so I know theres a chance he would wear it. Trolls should get him cool shit like this instead of handles of Burnetts.
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This would somehow loop back around and make him look like the coolest motherfucker alive
 
ibeatmywife said:
After that blackout livestream sometime in December I think right before he lost the apartment I think clint had a talk with him about getting too drunk on livestream. In that live he got so drunk he fell down and hit his head.
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Well, now when he takes a tumble and knocks himself out it won’t be so embarrassing!

When you think about it, that is literally only reason to tell him no drunk livestreams — beyond obvious swatting attempts
 
I was perusing the new metal releases like I do every Friday and came across this. This is obviously Cobes finally finding his sound and he's going to be the true gothic bad boy rockstar we've always known he is. For those unfamiliar with metal band logos, the bands name is Bog Wizard. Seemed fitting.

Gaou90ZaMAA--0F.png
 
ibeatmywife said:
After that blackout livestream sometime in December I think right before he lost the apartment I think clint had a talk with him about getting too drunk on livestream. In that live he got so drunk he fell down and hit his head.
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Every time Cobra streams, this happens (And has happened at his trailer):
  • Cobra gets hammered.
  • Dumb niggers send him boxes of rocks and crayfish and penis pumps and whatever retard shit they can think of. Sometimes it's gay men looking for rock and cock.
  • Cobra gets mad and hurts himself because he gets annoyed he's getting up every 10 minutes to tell aggressively horny gay men that he's not gay and he has no meth. He gets frustrated having to explain to DoorDash drivers why he's ordering penis pumps to his house via courier. He's already emotionally compromised because he's disabled but the booze makes it worse.
  • Dumb niggers send over the cops when he hurts himself or smashes shit.
It plays out like this every time, like clockwork. It was funny for a month or two but it's overplayed, Cobra is disabled, he's not retarded. The list of incentives for going live just don't exist for him anymore. He doesn't take DTTS, he can't do SuperChats *again,* he gets constantly harrassed without interruption because he's so well known now and his location is so public that hundreds out of the thousands are sending DoorDash orders all at the same time, he ends up getting in trouble with Clint and god knows Cobra hates having to have sit downs and hear how much of a fucking toddler he is from Clint. He gets all his money from Patreon, t-shirts and PayPal. He doesn't need to put in any effort to make that money and there's no real rush for him to make wands because he doesn't pay rent and he is perfectly content sitting alone in the trailer getting smashed on rotgut whiskey and yelling at Terrence Poop about double standards.

It's just not worth it anymore and you can't really blame him for figuring that out. Besides, if he doesn't go live the trolls can't fuck with him and Cobra wins. He thinks it's hilarious when the trolls can't win stuff and he'll do it to his own detriment.
 
Slim Boglim said:
Yo, Jessica Boyle got arms like a lunch lady
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I fucking died.

Durkadurkadurka said:
How long before our boy starts drinking mouthwash and claims it’s healthy?
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It involves any sort of hygiene for his teeth I don't think he would be tempted, but the hag bought mouthwash while she was there on the second visit so possibility he drank it or just left it. I wouldn't put it past him if desperation hit, maybe if he forgot or needed something extra for a peppermint mead or drink combo for the holidays.
 
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