Culture Nickelodeon Adults Want What Disney Adults Have

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Nickelodeon Adults Want What Disney Adults Have​

It’s my 30th birthday, the sun has just set over Punta Cana, and I’m sitting in an open-air theater watching an episode of SpongeBob Squarepants on a movie screen. My best friend and I are sipping rum cocktails from a coconut, marveling at how tropical paradise and our personal version of paradise (see: watching SpongeBob) have converged. After all, it was only a few years ago that the all-inclusive Nickelodeon Hotels & Resorts Punta Cana came into existence.

I identify as a Nick Adult. That means I was raised on cartoons like Rugrats, The Wild Thornberrys, SpongeBob Squarepants, and CatDog, internalizing their goofy style of humor before I could even read. As I grew older, still quoting SpongeBob daily, I noticed what so-called Disney Adults had, between their theme parks, cruises, festivals, bar crawls, resorts, and hotels. And leading up to this trip, I joked with friends that I was taking a pilgrimage to the Pineapple Villa as the cooler, funnier, and (so I thought) more ironically detached version of the kind of person who cries real tears while posing for a photo with a guy in a Buzz Lightyear costume. With that spirit in mind, I’d booked a “personal sliming,” jotted down when I could meet Squidward, and resolved to take a photo with the resort’s oversized bronze statue of SpongeBob.

But now, three days into slurping slime smoothies at a swim-up bar and floating down a lazy river under a gigantic orange Nickelodeon blimp while other guests chased after their kids, I began to doubt myself. It was becoming clear that my friend and I were among the only childless adults on the property. Where were my people?

It made sense that I couldn’t find them; Disney Adults have run of a dozen theme parks around the world, while Nick Adults are left scrambling for scraps. By my count, there’s the Universal Studios in Orlando, a Nickelodeon Universe indoor theme park at the Mall of America in Minnesota, and another Nickelodeon Universe in New Jersey, where park goers can hop on rides like Jimmy Neutron’s Atom Smasher, Sandy’s Blasting Bronco, even a Legends of the Hidden Temple-themed ropes course.

Leo Cimoch, a season pass holder to the third one, has visited the park more than 100 times since it opened in 2019. “After all of the stresses of a regular day, with my season pass, I really do feel like it's a nice place to escape,” says Cimoch, who’ll sport a SpongeBob or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles T-shirt during his visits and is widely recognized by park employees. “It's upbeat. There's bright lights and music, and recurring character appearances.”

Though the 43-year-old loves the park, he wishes there should be more for fans— meet-and-greets with characters like Patrick Star are tough to find outside of New Jersey. To that end, Chloe Liggett, a 23-year-old TikToker who works for a theme park called Kings Island in Mason, Ohio, recently penned a modest petition to Paramount Parks. The company phased out Nick Kid-friendly elements at its attractions—think roller coasters, rides, and gift shops—back in 2006, after CBS and Viacom split.

Although she’s hopeful about the forthcoming Nickelodeon hotel opening in Kissimmee, Florida, in 2026, Liggett still says that Nickelodeon has a long way to go in terms of appealing to more adults.
"Within the next decade, I think it would make a lot of sense to bring back more Nickelodeon theme parks in some way," she says. "While there are the Nickelodeon Universe parks, they don't even come close to the experiences Disney fans can share."

Though the lack of neon-orange roller coasters is disappointing to some enthusiasts, they’re not the only way to appeal to fans. A few Nickelodeon Adults have taken matters into their own hands.

Dominic Marciano is the bar manager at The Brixton on Long Island, where a so-called “Drinkelodeon” menu features cocktails with names like Hey Arnold Palmer, Kenan + Mezkel, and Rumrats. The millennial and former Nick Kid says he came up with the idea about a year ago while trying to appeal to his target market: people ages 25 to 40. Catering to nostalgia seemed like an easy way in.

“Watching Nickelodeon brings people back to their youth; a simpler time with no bills, no politics, no responsibilities, and no worries,” Marciano tells me. “In my opinion, that’s how a bar should be. It should be a place where you can let loose, have fun, and act like a kid again.”

Meanwhile, rapper Ka5sh quotes SpongeBobdaily and even has a tattoo of a character from an episode in which the gang goes camping. The 32-year-old North Carolina native leans into his Nick Adult status with the help of DJs and flashing lights. He’s the creator of Big Bubble Rave, a touring SpongeBob-themed event that’s been bumping remixes to “Jelly Fish Jam” and “F.U.N. Song” to costumed attendees since 2022. The voice of SpongeBob himself, Tom Kenny, made an appearance at a rave in 2023, much to the delight of 29-year-old Desirea Price, who dressed up like Hibernation Sandy for the rave and counted herself lucky to be there.

When Price was younger, and before it closed in 2008, she visited the Nickelodeon Blast Zone at Universal Studios in Hollywood. But that experience pales in comparison to the two Big Bubble Raves she’s attended. Attendees young and old go all out on costumes, she says, with one attendee dressing up like Plankton's computer wife, Karen. “They actually had an LED screen on their face with a TV monitor around their head,” Price remembers. A 34-year-old pal who’d never seen the show before had so much fun he was converted into someone who regularly watches SpongeBob—a bonafide Nickelodeon adult.

“I can't even put into words how cool the costumes are. And people make them themselves,” says Price. “Being this age, too, and seeing other people completely encourage that is just awesome.”

On our last night at the Nickelodeon Resort, my friend and I saddled up to the bar in the “Snick Lounge,” which nods to ‘90s Nick shows like Aaahh!!! Real Monsters and the Ren & Stimpy Show. In other words—the adult-coded hangout. We were the only patrons for a while, until a couple of dads popped down for a drink after putting their kids to bed.

By that point, I’d made peace with being a childless resort guest. I still had a blast and, unlike a kid, appreciated every little detail, right down to framed prints of stills from SpongeBob episodes in each suite. I’d started to think: Maybe Nick Adults don’t need a 1:1 slate of hotels, parks, and cruises to find their Disney-like communities. I think they’d prefer fewer—and funnier—experiences instead. After all, Nickelodeon skews silly (and sometimes absurdist), whereas Disney leans into heartwarming storylines and teachable moments.

One day I hope to mention DoodleBob in an environment where everybody gets the reference. Themed drink menus, costumed raves, and Pineapple Villas are scratching that itch for now, but I see a future where Nick Adults revel freely. It’s only a matter of time until we create more places to convene.
 
May as well just call it "Spongebob Park" since that's the only truly profitable thing Nickelodeon ever made. I'd still take pictures with an Ember McLain mascot actress, however.
 
The Nickelodeon Adult starter pack:

nickelodeon-slime-edible-kids-choice-sports-2015-nick-sliming.jpg Fr4h0zzWIAARI9y.jpg
 
But now, three days into slurping slime smoothies at a swim-up bar and floating down a lazy river under a gigantic orange Nickelodeon blimp while other guests chased after their kids, I began to doubt myself. It was becoming clear that my friend and I were among the only childless adults on the property. Where were my people?
This might be one of the saddest, pathetic things I have ever read.
 
I got an idea. How about you grow the fuck up already?

When I really was into pirating media i had this idea of getting all the shows that were on when I was a kid and creating my nostalgia entertainment bubble. Thank God I had the revelation of seeing how sad it would be to be some lone manchild repeating the same mistake of childhood wasting away in front of the idiot box.

Musing and memes on what an autistic loser Doug was are fun but at some point you gotta give up the desire to be a total child again. It wont ever happen and this level of constant yearning and overdosing on the nostalgia pill is unhealthy.

I guess it's better that these type are childless then being the parent who is trying to relive childhood by forcing it on their kids.
 
You know these faggots didn't even grow up in the time period people call the "golden age" of Nickelodeon because aside from name-dropping Real Monsters and Ren & Stumpy the only property they talk about is SpongeBob which is niggercattle trash that everyone recognizes. I'd bet the last dollar in my bank account that these alleged diehard fans don't even know why green slime is synonymous with the channel.

Let me know when someone says they want a nostalgic experience with Mr Wizard.
 
Disney adults are cringe faggots, and so are Nickelodeon adults. What more does this cringe faggot want?
 
Disney adults are cringe faggots, and so are Nickelodeon adults. What more does this cringe faggot want?
I began to doubt myself. It was becoming clear that my friend and I were among the only childless adults on the property. Where were my people?
A cringe faggot green slime footjob orgy.
 
I've been a collector of a certain brand since I was in kindergarten, but I don't get this need to make a company your whole personality, beyond just being a loser without an identity. These people need fucking help.
 
Musing and memes on what an autistic loser Doug was are fun but at some point you gotta give up the desire to be a total child again. It wont ever happen and this level of constant yearning and overdosing on the nostalgia pill is unhealthy.

When they speak of learning to put away your toys? And stop fearing being grown up? Or however that quote goes?

This is what they mean.

Those who wish to remain kids forever can only ever hurt themselves and others.
 
By that point, I’d made peace with being a childless resort guest. I still had a blast and, unlike a kid, appreciated every little detail, right down to framed prints of stills from SpongeBob episodes in each suite.
I'm convinced; Nickelodeon slime is cope of the highest sadness made physical substance.

One day I hope to mention DoodleBob in an environment where everybody gets the reference.
References are the lowest form of comedy and a direct admission of a complete lack of charisma.
 
Nickelodeon was awesome when I was a kid....because I was a fucking kid. Grow the fuck up.

Now if they have a mascot of Meltman walking around, maybe I'm interested.
 
Nickelodeon was awesome when I was a kid....because I was a fucking kid. Grow the fuck up.

Now if they have a mascot of Meltman walking around, maybe I'm interested.
I thought I saw a Meltman mascot walking near the Nickelodeon studio in Burbank once, but it turned out to just be Amanda Bynes' face melting in the hot California sun after all the plastic surgery. She did not appreciate the mixup.
 
As pathetic as the Disney adult culture is, Nickelodeon doesn't hold a candle to it. Disney adults are all millennials who grew up in an age where Disney was heavily marketed. Michael Eisner introduced television specials and had numerous projects going on to expand the brand, the Disney Renaissance was still ongoing and pumped out memorable films every few years which all got extensive marketing, especially when paired with McDonald's Happy Meal promotions.

Nickelodeon didn't really have that. In the 1990s, Nickelodeon's merchandising was far more subdued than Disney was (a conscious decision by Viacom executives) until SpongeBob came along, which is when the brand whoring started, and even then, it was just SpongeBob. Meanwhile, Nick was only available on extended cable, whereas Disney made multiple avenues to make sure everyone could indulge somehow. If you had extended cable, then why the fuck were you not watching Cartoon Network in the late 1990s and early 2000s?

You know these faggots didn't even grow up in the time period people call the "golden age" of Nickelodeon because aside from name-dropping Real Monsters and Ren & Stumpy the only property they talk about is SpongeBob which is niggercattle trash that everyone recognizes. I'd bet the last dollar in my bank account that these alleged diehard fans don't even know why green slime is synonymous with the channel.

Maybe not even that. There's another tell:

It’s my 30th birthday, the sun has just set over Punta Cana, and I’m sitting in an open-air theater watching an episode of SpongeBob Squarepants on a movie screen. My best friend and I are sipping rum cocktails from a coconut, marveling at how tropical paradise and our personal version of paradise (see: watching SpongeBob) have converged. After all, it was only a few years ago that the all-inclusive Nickelodeon Hotels & Resorts Punta Cana came into existence.

If you are 30 and had any sort of connection to Nickelodeon you would absolutely remember the Nickolodean hotel in Orlando, which was initially done as a Holiday Inn co-brand and was heavily shilled. Granted, it was never really executed properly and run-down by the mid-2010s, but its complete absence of this article suggests that someone is lying about being a Nick superfan.
 
I liked old Nickelodeon shows and I still have good memories from some of them, but I wouldn't be caught dead buying a ticket-for-one to go to their theme park, or label myself as a "Kid's Brand Adult". Perhaps they should learn about shame, so they can die from it.
 
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