💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AnOminous]

I don't even hate him, he's just hilariously dumb and that he's managed to push his body to the brink of death while still pushing is even funnier

He's the kind of guy I'd hate if I had to be actually around him but I don't.

As it is, he's just at the right level of being an awful piece of shit that I don't feel guilty about mocking him for being a gimped-out multiple stroke victim, but not bad enough I get inordinately angry about him.

I still miss Golden Era Jack who I've followed since years before coming to this site, when his crimes against cuisine were at least more creative and he was physically capable of tarding out in interesting ways instead of listlessly babbling unintelligibly while staring through dead, half-open eyes.

 

[biggacracka]

If nothing else, hate him for the fact he leaves his dogs in harnesses 24/7 for literal years. Even fucking draft horses get the straps taken off before they form pressure sores.

Reminder that *gurgles voice* "It's liddurally a securuty blanket, guys"

 

[Comma]

Fucking retard allows his dog to eat the spilled walnuts completely unaware they can be very harmful for them. Then yells at the dog in a harsh tone, "GUD GORL HOBE!!!"

Poor thing

Holy shit...


(https://www.pawlicy.com/blog/can-dogs-eat-walnuts/)

 

[MSPaintSupremacy]

I dunno what his dog looks like, so take this placeholder.

 

[Random Internet Person]

Jagoff is offended that Kaepernick kneeled and "disrespected the troops". Meanwhile every memorial day Jack tells veterans to stfu about remembering dead soldiers and ruining his gluttonous vibes. He also tells veterans that his experience is just as valid as their own because he had a few friends that were deployed to war and that is exactly the same as actually being a soldier during wartime.

Fuck sake, man. How do you manage to make Colin Kaepernick look good ? Somebody who feels like he needs to be unemployed to make a point about something.

That would be a waste of... well, everything. The man was nearly blind to taste and texture before the last two strokes, let alone nowadays. He probably can distinguish between the three basic food groups (meat, yucky vegetables, and terrible no-good carbs. Potatoes and cheese are honorary meat, MOM), and not much more.

Giving Jack wagyu is literally worst than casting pearls before swine. At least the pigs, being fairly intelligent creatures, can extract actual enjoyment from the experience, even if it's just the small intellectual exercise of being presented with something new, getting curious about it, and investigating the shiny new little balls in the mud. Jack doesn't even go that far; his mental processes for tasting food can be summed up by the following:

public String jacksFoodEvaluator (Food f) {
   
    if (f.getType().equals("MEAT") && f.getAmount().equals("LOTS")) {
        return "A+"";
    } else if (f.getType().equals("MEAT") && !f.getAmount().equals("LOTS")) {
        return "A-";
    } else if (!f.getType().equals("MEAT") && f.getAmount().equals("LOTS")) {
        return "B+";
    } else if (!f.getType().equals("MEAT") && !f.getAmount().equals("LOTS")) {
        return "C-";
    } else {
        this.setMood("ANGY");
        return "F";
    }
   
}

That Java reminds me of Monkey D. Luffy. Nothing but an unnatural desire for meat.

>GET THIS NIGGER BITCH OUT OF MY FAIRLY ODDPARENTS!

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I really doubt Jack was gonna watch this to begin with.

One thing I wonder is how much Jack actually LIKES cooking. We know he likes eating, and he likes the feeling of being a "celebrity" with a fanbase etc. But I wonder if he still likes/loves the actual cooking itself (the joy of creation, the fun of trying new things, the satisfaction of serving your friends and family etc) but is just so lazy/disabled/beaten up by life that this is what's left; or if he started out legitimately loving it but kind of lost interest along the way but he had some success early on and he doesn't know how to do anything else so he just kept riding that horse; or if he never really was that passionate and he's wasted most of his life on this nonsense.

Whatever the answer is, a poster above mentioned how angry Jack always is just below the surface and how miserable that must be as a way to live and I think that's very apt.

He sounds like he’s barely one step above Foodie Beauty in that regard.

Biggest takeaway in the first 20 minutes is Jack's conspiracy that Anthony Bourdain was killed by the Clinton's. His reasoning "You don't fly to another country when you're depressed and ready to take your own life. You're in the middle of filming an entire season of your new show which is very - somewhat- succesful". Then he says that Bill Clinton was one of the last people seen with Bourdain before he died.

Wasn’t it also said Bourdain had a lot of issues with self-doubt and drugs and thinking that one day, he’d be seen as a fraud and all his fame would go away?

Jack is an idiot?

The fact that HHH and A&N posters are in here shitting on jack should be a sign he's hated throughout the political spectrum. It really is easy to hate on jack, especially with how he behaves in public.

He did it. He did that what was thought to be impossible!

 

[Shartavius]

Wasn’t it also said Bourdain had a lot of issues with self-doubt and drugs and thinking that one day, he’d be seen as a fraud and all his fame would go away?

The jist of this is Jack's sentiments revealing that he lived vicariously through Bourdain by pretending that his uninformed, small-minded, idealized perception of Bourdain (which no one else shared) was who the man truly was. And Jack's Anthony Bourdain would gneh-vurr uh comment sewerside!

It demonstrates Jack's general inability/unwillingness to relate to other people on bases beyond the constraints of his own, sharting priorities - That everyone else is just a background character in the Jack Show for him to put in their place.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

The jist of this is Jack's sentiments revealing that he lived vicariously through Bourdain by pretending that his uninformed, small-minded, idealized perception of Bourdain (which no one else shared) was who the man truly was. And Jack's Anthony Bourdain would gneh-vurr uh comment sewerside!

It demonstrates Jack's general inability/unwillingness to relate to other people on bases beyond the constraints of his own, sharting priorities - That everyone else is just a background character in the Jack Show for him to put in their place.

Bourdain was best when he was a short tempered, intolerant, sharp witted asshole.


At some point Bourdain got rich, ate some bad pizza, and started turning himself into some soft bellied wannabe gonzo journalist.


Then he stopped being acerbic to other cuisines and people. He was better when he looked down on everyone especially minorities and fingolians.


Jack gets mad at minorities but its not the same thing. He just looks stupid. It’s like that bell curve where the 70 IQ people say “it’s the Jews” and the 130 IQ people say “its the Jews”, but everyone in the middle is like “no fuck you we love the Jewish race “. I resent that my election preferences overlap Jack’s.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Bourdain was an alcoholic who thought he was golden because he wasn’t doing coke or heroin anymore. Untreated alcoholism leads to suicide of varying speeds. It’s not complicated, but it’s still too hard for Jack to understand. I doubt he even knows anything about Bourdain apart from the fact he had a successful career and an ex-gf (who was also a Satanist and complete thundercunt pedophile).

 

[Shartavius]

Bourdain was a lolcow in and of himself. He had a marketable schtick of being a celebrity chef who looked down on celebrity chefs for being celebrity chefs, which appealed to the demographic of doomed americans who depended on mainstream television to deliver "counterculture"-branded content to their suckling lips - but I remember immediately clocking this as being a front for a more interesting guy who hated himself and had burnt out his dopamine receptors, who was now using a television persona to hide in plain sight. That's why it's funny to infer that Jack idolized him to any extent, and surely for reasons with no basis in reality.

Does anyone have the clip from (I think) the final season of No Reservations where a little girl at a cookout roasts him for complaining about a TV network paying all his expenses as he travels first class to eat prime rib from the world's most exclusive restaurants? It was a beautiful moment. Edit: @LaughJoke2.0 helpfully reminded me below that it's S06E05 - New York Hudson Valley.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Bourdain was a lolcow in and of himself. He had a marketable schtick of being a celebrity chef who looked down on celebrity chefs for being celebrity chefs, which appealed to the demographic of doomed americans who depended on mainstream television to deliver "counterculture"-branded content to their suckling lips - but I remember immediately clocking this as being a front for a more interesting guy who hated himself and had burnt out his dopamine receptors, who was now using a television persona to hide in plain sight. That's why it's funny to infer that Jack idolized him to any extent, and surely for reasons with no basis in reality.

Does anyone have the clip from (I think) the final season of No Reservations where a little girl at a cookout roasts him for complaining about a TV network paying all his expenses as he travels first class to eat prime rib from the world's most exclusive restaurants? It was a beautiful moment.

No clip but it was the Hudson Valley episode.

 

[Bassomatic]

That little girl is adorable. On any other website, I know it would be taken at face value. I just mean that as she's a great smart little kiddo.

Ugh, regardless what you think about, Bourdain, Trump or anything. Just remember this Jack is wrong and very gay. (literally).

That steak video... tragic, I've mentioned I tend to watch recaps only I can't do those videos but I put this on. he's dying, no if ands or buts. Jack is dying. He's eating himself to death.I know this isn't new but man it's so clear and he's so close. We joke about Wendigo etc but man medicine (bad big pharma don't take shots just eat meat) I think after he "cleared" up after his last stroke he sounds "drunk" Jack is so fat and damaged, he will never admit it but he's prob on a lot of painkillers. Plus statins etc. I'm sure Jacks on a lot of meds.

Seriously as much as I know Jack is scum, all around. these videos remind me of a retarded person smoking weed. Just brain dead happy they get a rush/high. I almost feel sad but then step back and remember who Jack is.. fuck Jack. He's impossible to A log, much like his evil fat wife and his faggot son and whale tumored oud daughter in law (brie lose 30 lbs and call me doe)

 

[John Andrews Stan]

The interesting thing about seeing Jack on streams with his brother Charles is that he listens to Chuck like he’s some kind of guru. Whereas the rest of the time, Jack positions HIMSELF as the guru. Which is pretty funny when you consider what a dipshit he is.



Isn’t Jack Jr. in his twenties and a married man? JFC.

 

[Shartavius]

That little girl is adorable.

She's 25, now.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Wasn’t it also said Bourdain had a lot of issues with self-doubt and drugs and thinking that one day, he’d be seen as a fraud and all his fame would go away?

Bourdain had a lot of demons and a past with some heavy substance abuse. So yes. He was always on the verge of feeling like his fame was about to slip away.

 

[Bassomatic]

She's 25, now.

I bet she's already a PhD. God bless that lil troll.

Bourdain had a lot of demons and a past with some heavy substance abuse. So yes. He was always on the verge of feeling like his fame was about to slip away.

You can say a lot of good or bad about Bourdain but he kept a job and could socialize. He wanted to cut smack but be the Hunter Thompson of Food.

Jack, he's a fat gay man who can't even match Dayum Drops. Personally even if you dislike Anthony, you can say he tried stuff, Jack is a lazy faggot chomping down Wendys.

I have some mixed feelings on AB, but that's not here nor there. Hate him even, he put on enough a snob shit show, he got on TV. Jack failed that because he's a basic bitch. Personally, AB got me to brave going to Camden (seriously this is war zone level) for their cheese steak and I'm a Philly fan/local. Shit was banging. TBH I ain't going back for another lol. But As a former junkie was used to the hood. He showed the rare honest people off.

I gotta say, aside that talking famous chefs, I liked Gordon Ramsey show where he toured the world didn't put the mean act on. I think had AB not died he'd be a great host, end up in fucking bum fuck Peru and eat their food and be thankful they shared the culture. Gordon not in "mean mode" was awesome. I remember the episode where he tried to keep up with this little mexican grandma on mole and laughed how bad he got smoked. Gordon just hugged her and laughed. But I think esp the "cook off" ending Bourdain would be losing 100% but happy about it. Sorry side note about people who could cook.

 

[AltisticRight]

The interesting thing about seeing Jack on streams with his brother Charles is that he listens to Chuck like he’s some kind of guru. Whereas the rest of the time, Jack positions HIMSELF as the guru. Which is pretty funny when you consider what a dipshit he is.

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Isn’t Jack Jr. in his twenties and a married man? JFC.

I hate that bitemoji face so fucking much, it's unreal.
As if his previous one wasn't bad enough, this one is somehow worse. Stroke, now. Fatty.

 

[lindsayfan]

I remember immediately clocking this as being a front for a more interesting guy who hated himself and had burnt out his dopamine receptors, who was now using a television persona to hide in plain sight.

i don't really give a shit about bourdain either way, but from what little i paid attention to he seemed like a decent human being, which is very high praise for someone in the entertainment industry. anyway your analysis of him makes sense to me.

i think now that bourdain's dead he's become recycled into cultural goyslop -- just a generically, safely "anti-establishment" symbol that basic lower-midwits can market to idiots. kind of like the posthumous defanging of hunter s thompson. the fact scalfatty tweets at russell brand and presumably consumes whatever tail-chasing psyop shit russell brand is about these days is kind of similar -- though i'm 1000% certain jack's awareness of russell brand originates with charles.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Ashley “Fatash” Hutsell Jankowski

No f'n way, I haven't heard that name since MPC. She's still around!?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Is this what Jack tells himself to rationalize how he’s alienated every sane person from his orbit?

 

[Random Internet Person]

Bourdain was a lolcow in and of himself. He had a marketable schtick of being a celebrity chef who looked down on celebrity chefs for being celebrity chefs, which appealed to the demographic of doomed americans who depended on mainstream television to deliver "counterculture"-branded content to their suckling lips - but I remember immediately clocking this as being a front for a more interesting guy who hated himself and had burnt out his dopamine receptors, who was now using a television persona to hide in plain sight. That's why it's funny to infer that Jack idolized him to any extent, and surely for reasons with no basis in reality.

Does anyone have the clip from (I think) the final season of No Reservations where a little girl at a cookout roasts him for complaining about a TV network paying all his expenses as he travels first class to eat prime rib from the world's most exclusive restaurants? It was a beautiful moment. Edit: @LaughJoke2.0 helpfully reminded me below that it's S06E05 - New York Hudson Valley.

Diabolical.webm

I’ll be honest, the whole “having no filter” kind of person is something that really gets points in my book, and both Bourdain and that kid had it in spades.

To get back to Jack, there’s no way he could have that level of charisma or type of ability to connect with people. Or for that matter be an amazing sport for some playful ribbing or a sarcastic sentence. Guy couldn’t even handle a church event.

Is this what Jack tells himself to rationalize how he’s alienated every sane person from his orbit?

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My issue is the avatar always has in his posts. Give it a rest.