💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Major]

The first two words of the first step of his advice for stopping anxiety are "drink coffee". If you have an anxiety disorder or even feel a little jittery, the very first thing you should do is reduce or eliminate your caffeine consumption.

This is like advice for suicidal people that starts with "Buy liquor, sleeping pills, a shotgun and and some rope..."

Coffee is quite relaxing though. Makes you pee but otherwise good for calming. At least for me

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

That reminds me. In a recent stream, Jack was once again banging on about how the taurine in energy drinks — specifically, 5 Hour Energy — “caused” his strokes. He even stated flat-out that the strokes were unrelated to his weight and thus not related to his diet. He claimed the ER doctor for his first stroke told him they see multiple people stroking out from energy drinks every week.

I’m sure Jack’s butthole is jealous of the shit that comes out of his mouth.

Probably more of Jack just taking a passing comment as the only point of consideration. I'd absolutely believe a doctor asking you about your diet habits would mention something along the lines of "Heavy energy drink usage can be the straw that breaks the camels back in some vulnerable patients, we see it happen from time to time" and conclude the drink did it entirely and nothing else. If you give an olympic athlete a can of monster, its perfectly safe for him to shotgun that shit, but give it to someone who's blood pressure makes steam turbines look anemic, and it'll probably kill them. Jack once again shows his inability to extend his thinking past the first layer of anything.

 

[densedance]

 

[AltisticRight]

Jack's advice to suicidal people is to buy 4 pounds of bacon and cover it in 5 pounds of pre-shredded cheese instead.

Tell them if they go through, they'll end up in a place worse than Hell where every meal is cooked by Jack Scalfani and there's 10 meals a day.

View attachment 6356683

Whatever you cook, Jack.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

With the shaved head, Jack has become Butterball from Hellraiser.

 

[Neko GF]

THE DEPOT - STEAK WARS​

(08/28/24)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=l9Ainznf_08

Spoiler: Archive (720p):

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Exactly. Plus if you had a cancer cure, you can charge whatever the fuck you want for it. Even billionaires get cancer (Steve Jobs)

It was the Steve Jobs getting cancer that put a lid in this idea that the cure is out there. A guy that could have literally made anybody rich for several lifetimes had they given him the cure never got it.

This right here shows that this "the cure exists" is bullshit.

Jack claims he and Tammy buy their meat directly from a farmer.

Bullshit. At best they go to a farmer's market. At worst they engage in buying a subscription box. Whenever we see Fatty cook meat it's always cryovac or sealed somehow. A real direct to you from the farmer uses butcher paper.

Probably more of Jack just taking a passing comment as the only point of consideration. I'd absolutely believe a doctor asking you about your diet habits would mention something along the lines of "Heavy energy drink usage can be the straw that breaks the camels back in some vulnerable patients, we see it happen from time to time" and conclude the drink did it entirely and nothing else. If you give an olympic athlete a can of monster, its perfectly safe for him to shotgun that shit, but give it to someone who's blood pressure makes steam turbines look anemic, and it'll probably kill them. Jack once again shows his inability to extend his thinking past the first layer of anything.

And this is probably closer to the truth. Fatty hears what he wants to hear. Then holds onto that idea regardless of the evidence to the contrary.

THE DEPOT - STEAK WARS​

(08/28/24)

Original:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=l9Ainznf_08Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=l9Ainznf_08

Spoiler: Archive (720p):

SaveTube.App-THE DEPOT - STEAK WARS.mp4

I love how he says he could tell it was locally sourced. Fucking bullshit. There's no way this stroked out faggot could tell the difference between a steak raised in TN from one anywhere else in the world. He just wants to larp as some foodie instead of a walking garbage disposal.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

Jack Vlogs has been taken DOWN TO THE GROUND:

Everyone I've spoken to about this suspects Scalflaggotry is at work and he has been known to strike channels in the past.

I'm uploading my local backups to a rumble channel: https://rumble.com/user/JackVlogs80085

 

[Dead Air]

Jack Vlogs has been taken DOWN TO THE GROUND:
View attachment 6357162
Everyone I've spoken to about this suspects Scalflaggotry is at work and he has been known to strike channels in the past.

I'm uploading my local backups to a rumble channel: https://rumble.com/user/JackVlogs80085

Man, I've watched all the Jack Vlogs and don't remember any sex and nudity.

 

[a terminal posture]

THE DEPOT - STEAK WARS​

(08/28/24)

Lol @ Jack pretending he can taste the terroir of steaks.

 

[densedance]

I love how he says he could tell it was locally sourced. Fucking bullshit. There's no way this stroked out faggot could tell the difference between a steak raised in TN from one anywhere else in the world. He just wants to larp as some foodie instead of a walking garbage disposal.

*points with the camera at the sauces* "That's looks very fresh. I can tell you it was made in house".

 

[AnOminous]

It was the Steve Jobs getting cancer that put a lid in this idea that the cure is out there. A guy that could have literally made anybody rich for several lifetimes had they given him the cure never got it.

This right here shows that this "the cure exists" is bullshit.

Except Jobs was a fucking retard who had one of the curable kinds and it was caught early enough they could have done it.

And instead he decided to do some woo woo newage (rhymes with "sewage") bullshit until he realized too late it wasn't working. By then they couldn't do anything but delay the inevitable.

So even if they had the outright cure this dipshit would have managed to die anyway.

I love how he says he could tell it was locally sourced. Fucking bullshit. There's no way this stroked out faggot could tell the difference between a steak raised in TN from one anywhere else in the world. He just wants to larp as some foodie instead of a walking garbage disposal.

I doubt he could even tell shoe leather from an actual steak. Just put a bunch of cheese and sauce on it and it'd be "meat gud" to him.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Except Jobs was a fucking retard who had one of the curable kinds and it was caught early enough they could have done it.

And instead he decided to do some woo woo newage (rhymes with "sewage") bullshit until he realized too late it wasn't working. By then they couldn't do anything but delay the inevitable.

So even if they had the outright cure this dipshit would have managed to die anyway.

And specifically, it was a mixture of acupuncture and a juice diet. If anything, it's further proof the old ways are the old ways for a reason.

 

[Shartavius]

*points with the camera at the sauces* "That's looks very fresh. I can tell you it was made in house".

I laughed at that, the Hammy Hands creeping into the top of the frame to open the menu for the invalid pretending to read it with the camera zoomed in, and Jack ghoulishly gurgling "Put some buttuhr on it."

What possible service does this student cadaver fancy himself providing with these horrible videos (aside from locals hedging their bets on any restaurant Jack has recently reviewed now being less likely to have him turn up to spoil your appetite)?

Mr Cow Nostrils opens the "review" complaining that it's hot outdoors while he's cool indoors, admits to not having known that a restaurant he's previously eaten at has steak on the menu, then builds up to saying that he has once again enjoyed the gud flavor of a bite of steak cut into squares by Tammy which we know he couldn't actually taste; because he insists on encasing every bite within a cold pat of butter: These are reviews of Gordon Food Service frozen sweet cream butter masquerading as steak reviews, under the additional pretense that the steaks would taste like anything but steak - Who in the fuck does Jack think is ordering steak from a steak house without an expectation for it to taste like steak, that they need him to provide one? If anything, he's setting people up for disappointment in the event they order anything other than a cold, raw steak which ends up not tasting like a tub of refrigerated butter.

The most "Jack" this video gets is when he finally begins eating the steak, and it cuts to him at home on his shart couch, whining that he has to re-film the end of the review because he 100% forgot that the menu he filmed specified which local ranch the steaks are sourced from, then apparently filmed himself in the restaurant making shit up about how his taste buds confirmed that the steaks are ackchully sourced from a different supplier, recently eaten at a different restaurant - Despite having just read the facts off the goddamned menu, on camera.

So it's a steak review that takes five and a half minutes to get to the steak review, before abruptly cutting to a fat cunt convalescing on a dog blanket while he drones on about how he had to cut out 99% of the actual review filmed in the restaurant because he's too retarded to stick with where the menu states the steaks are from when his mouth - which apparently lies to him, too - tells him different.

Jack's mind might just blow out of his collapsed nostrils and egg shell skull if he reached the epiphany that the reason both steaks tasted the same is because they tasted like twenty ounces of cold butter, instead of steak.

 

[._.]

Jack's conspiracy that Anthony Bourdain was killed by the Clinton's.

He had that White House special sauce recipe. They had to kill him they couldnt let that get out.

Bullshit. At best they go to a farmer's market. At worst they engage in buying a subscription box. Whenever we see Fatty cook meat it's always cryovac or sealed somehow. A real direct to you from the farmer uses butcher paper.

Absolutely, if anything its a 'local butcher' or a subscription box but hes rural small town enough that I doubt he has those types of local places or a decent farmers market (though that may be that Im from the south/southwest and maybe they can grow shit where he is--but he isnt in ranchland and he doesnt buy produce so I cant see a farmers market having a 'local rancher' or him going to one). My money is on him going in on a subscription service or a half cow or something with some of the guys at his megachurch.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Doomer Jack





Jack engagement farming





Random bullshit

 

[p1138]

Jack's mind might just blow out of his collapsed nostrils and egg shell skull if he reached the epiphany that the reason both steaks tasted the same is because they tasted like twenty ounces of cold butter, instead of steak.

Maybe he's really just prepping for an all BUDDUR diet when he can no longer chew but still needs to consume calories? Just invalid Fatty at home with a tub of BUDDUR making up shit about the government taking away his bacon up or something while live streaming between episodes of blues clues. He's already basically a retarded mukbang deathfat as it is.

 

[Flonominal88]

Maybe he's really just prepping for an all BUDDUR diet when he can no longer chew but still needs to consume calories? Just invalid Fatty at home with a tub of BUDDUR making up shit about the government taking away his bacon up or something while live streaming between episodes of blues clues. He's already basically a retarded mukbang deathfat as it is.

The butter is to lube up the steak chunks so he doesn’t have to chew

 

[Shartavius]

The butter is to lube up the steak chunks so he doesn’t have to chew

That lubrication probably helps when they pass undigested by anything but the albino bugs Jack's colon is infested with.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Talk about living rent-free in someone’s head.