💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351" - Polysubstance abuser, child doser, dog killer. "Lawtube pope" turned zesty Dabbleverse Redditor streamer. Swinger "whitebread ass nigga" who snuffs animals and visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold. Still not over his ex Aaron. Wife's bod worth $50.

[spacko]

Hutz even had a better record. He actually won a case once.

What's funny is if Nickhole actually "wins" by denying the Internet the amusement of watching his trial, the jury in any such case has been sentenced, without trial, to have to watch Nickhole's actual Internet content.

I feel sorry for that jury, really, because while I continue to follow this little bitch's antics, I find his actual content so repulsive I can't watch it outside of carefully curated clips. Just looking at this greasy motherfucker who looks like he slept on a park bench nauseates me.

Nicholas "Crack" Rackets already put crack and a hotwife first over his wife, career, reputation and kids

all he had to do was fully commit to the Joker bit. he should be streaming this whole trial on his own channel, making bank and breaking world record views as he fully leans into his Punished Nick persona, and the world gets the most captivating story since marvel started shitting up cinemas.

instead we just have a retarded piece of shit who is aware and ashamed that he forever ruined his life in front of the world for a blowjob and some meth

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

If anyone's going to the trial, Gunt will be there and he plans to harass and dox anyone he can.

Important info if you do decide to go:
1)Mask up, save lives.

2)Don't let the pig follow you to your car.

3)If he starts hollerin' request police assistance.

4)Don't start a fight, a courthouse is the 2nd worst place to start a fight.

Alternatively, react to him the exact same way you would a homeless junkie; ignore him and just move along. If you don't engage with him, he just looks like a fat homeless junkie having a schizo meltdown, and security can handle that no problem.

 

[Swole McPole]

Nick is basically Ralph now, so taking sole custody of the kids exclusively out of spite for KF isn't out of the realm of possibility.

I'm convinced that the only reason Ralph is prepared to fly out to Balldo country, risking process servers and mad alogs by the dozen, is because he believes he is on a promise. Surely $500 will barely cover his airfare? He'll need a place to stay.

I think he's on a promise to stay at Balldo Manor and avail himself of the pleasures of the qover. Nick needs to get on the phone to his dealer and start laying in the xannies. You can't expect him to perform unmedicated.

 

[Captain Manning]

i want lolcow of the year to be as fair and equitable as possible and i think the sterling effort Nick has put in should be reflected in a "big picture" kind of showdown, as much as DSP wins by default so easily and consistently

Bro, DSP wasn't even nominated last year. He wasn't in the running for LOTY. Nor was he in 2022. As your chart suggests, DSP's peak was in 2021.

(As an aside, Ralph was nominated for 2023, but only got 2.7% of the vote).

Per Hamplanet Fitness:

Nominees were determined based on front-page features, cow crossovers, thread activity, and user submissions.

It's not just about page count.

Nick is gonna get nominated again this year, for sure. Not only is the thread still extremely active, but Nick's made the front-page feature like a dozen times already. Whereas last year he was on the front page twice (IIRC, those two times were Fischer denying his motion to dismiss, and MANdy).

If DSP didn't get nominated last year, I don't see it happening this year. Not unless there is a huge effort by his detractors to push back against his KC sponsored redemption arc.

I personally hope DSP wins so those "detractors" can get even more upset.

Wins, as in wins over the detractors?

I would actually find that rather amusing.

I never really much understood the appeal of DSP. The a-logging he gets always seemed disproportionate to what he actually does. In the present day, I can only really attribute it to inertia.

I feel sorry for that jury, really, because while I continue to follow this little bitch's antics, I find his actual content so repulsive I can't watch it outside of carefully curated clips. Just looking at this greasy motherfucker who looks like he slept on a park bench nauseates me.

Same. I can't remember the last time I watched a raw Rekieta stream. Probably like a year or two ago. It's difficult to even watch a raw Rekieta clip nowadays. To make it bearable, I usually have to do a KC clip, or an elb clip of KC or MATI.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I think he's on a promise to stay at Balldo Manor and avail himself of the pleasures of the qover.

Hosting Ethan cunting Ralph at his home is exactly the kind of thing Nick would do while still in legal/CHIPS turmoil. I hope the cocaine addict daughter doesn’t mind sharing her bed with Uncle Ralph.

 

[AnOminous]

Nick is gonna get nominated again this year, for sure. Not only is the thread still extremely active, but Nick's made the front-page feature like a dozen times already. Whereas last year he was on the front page twice (IIRC, those two times were Fischer denying his motion to dismiss, and MANdy).

People bitching about their fave cow not winning last year are basically absolutely retarded. Name another cow who in a single year managed shit like getting catfished by a dude, getting his house raided by the cops and copping multiple felony charges, having his kids taken away by CPS despite having presented himself as a wholesome family trad dad (even having streams called "chad dad" streams), and losing on every imaginable human level.

This dude is basically Supercow. Maybe the Vitophile should do a comic about him, the most degenerate superhero.

 

[spacko]

Bro, DSP wasn't even nominated last year. He wasn't in the running for LOTY. Nor was he in 2022. As your chart suggests, DSP's peak was in 2021.

true kings have no need for nominations

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Hosting Ethan cunting Ralph at his home is exactly the kind of thing Nick would do while still in legal/CHIPS turmoil. I hope the cocaine addict daughter doesn’t mind sharing her bed with Uncle Ralph.

Has Ralph done cocaine before? I know he’s smoked meth. If Rekieta is hosting then I do hope he offers his guest a nice plate of cocaine, stolen can of spaghettios from his kids, and an offer of his wife Kayla like a good host!

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Name another cow who in a single year managed shit like getting catfished by a dude, getting his house raided by the cops and copping multiple felony charges, having his kids taken away by CPS despite having presented himself as a wholesome family trad dad (even having streams called "chad dad" streams), and losing on every imaginable human level.

It’s funny how shit that would humiliate any reasonable person — like having his polycule outed, streaming with cocaine on his nose, losing his seven-figure streaming deal, and getting his tickets and fines sent to collections — doesn’t even rank in the top five most hilarious things Nick did to himself in the past year.

Has Ralph done cocaine before? I know he’s smoked meth.

Ralph brags that he was a habitual cocaine user since elementary school. So, probably not — but he sure won’t turn it down if the homeschool cheerleading squad offers him some.

 

[AnOminous]

It’s funny how shit that would humiliate any reasonable person — like having his polycule outed, streaming with cocaine on his nose, losing his seven-figure streaming deal, and getting his tickets and fines sent to collections — doesn’t even rank in the top five most hilarious things Nick did to himself in the past year.


Ralph brags that he was a habitual cocaine user since elementary school. So, probably not — but he sure won’t turn it down if the homeschool cheerleading squad offers him some.

And just go back to when Nick was admired, and then started doing this weird shit, and the response was a concerned, please just PULL UP dude, and his response was go fuck yourself and nosediving (you know NOSEdiving) into the ground because a massive pile of cocaine was down there.

He spat in the face of people who actually cared for him because he preferred the parasites who loved him destroying himself and went rah-rah-rah as he wrecked his family and his entire life and nuked his own reputation.

What a stupid faggot. What a PSA for "do not do what this stupid faggot did because look where he ended up."

Oh he still has Diddler Dax though. So I guess that's a huge win for him.

 

[Captain Manning]

People bitching about their fave cow not winning last year are basically absolutely retarded. Name another cow who in a single year managed shit like getting catfished by a dude, getting his house raided by the cops and copping multiple felony charges, having his kids taken away by CPS despite having presented himself as a wholesome family trad dad (even having streams called "chad dad" streams), and losing on every imaginable human level.

Being charitable, I think last year some of that had to do with the fact Nick was only featured on the main page twice. That led to some people legitimate asking "I don't get it, what did Rekieta do? He's boring."

Also, the arrest and CPS shit hadn't happened yet, and @Himedall All-seeing Waifu didn't yet have the revised OP up to serve as a primer for people.

However, in 2024, with dozens of features, the new OP, the arrest, Nick declaring total retard war on the Farms, the Kino Casino coverage, etc., there's no way in hell anybody should be able to say that with a straight face anymore. If they do that now, they're probably just a salty BMJ or Fatrick alog.

 

[Melty Butter]

PLEA DEALS
Continuing on the discussion of Null's possible theory which seems to center on Kayla, I think this rabbit hole I went down about plea deals is worth considering.

1. From my interpretation, Kayla might be able to take responsibility and seek rehabilitation or even commitment to a mental health facility as part of her plea deal. This is MN law:

Link
2. My reading of this (again this is MN law) is that April and Nick can subsequently withdraw their plea deals.

Link
3. Based on my understanding of federal law, any plea deal that April and Nick made but later withdrew cannot be used in the criminal proceeding. It seems likely that they might have the opportunity to renegotiate their plea deals once Kayla takes responsibility.


Link
...
I understand that my prediction may have limitations, given that I'm not a lawyer. Nonetheless, it's important to consider that Kayla might have shared significant information with Nick and April. If Nick has recorded these disclosures, they could be used in a renegotiated plea deal or in a criminal proceeding.

The only reason for Nick to turn on Kayla in the criminal case now would be if they actually charged them with the child's positive drug test. That doesn't seem to be happening. With the possession, it's pretty cut and dry. Even if Nick convinced Kayla to take the blame, I don't think it would work.

If that is what the plan is, I doubt it will work for him.

Perhaps I've been overanalyzing Nick's motivations. I may be trying too hard to delve into his thought process.

Getting sole custody would be the last thing Nick would want. More driving of the darn kids???

I deeply appreciate your perspective on Nick, and the clip you shared was quite revealing. However, it could actually support my argument. The allocation of child support follows where the children reside. Nick harbors resentment over Kayla's expenses and his decision not to have a prenup. Additionally, his ego plays a significant role here; gaining custody would bolster his credibility, even though he may no longer fit the traditional dad image.

 

[AnOminous]

However, in 2024, with dozens of features, the new OP, the arrest, Nick declaring total retard war on the Farms, the Kino Casino coverage, etc., there's no way in hell anybody should be able to say that with a straight face anymore. If they do that now, they're probably just a salty BMJ or Fatrick alog.

This is why I think we should have a rule against consecutive cow of the year awards. It just wouldn't be fair to let Nick win every year.

 

[repentance]

I think he's on a promise to stay at Balldo Manor and avail himself of the pleasures of the qover. Nick needs to get on the phone to his dealer and start laying in the xannies. You can't expect him to perform unmedicated.

Ralph's probably bringing cheap Mexican xannies for Kayla.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

PLEA DEALS

There’s an entire containment thread for effortposts related to the legal case.

 

[holyhandgrenade]

PLEA DEALS

why are there so many people who joined in the last few days that want our wife to take the fall for everything. The state isn't going to just let her say she did everything and balldo is innocent. It NEVER works that way. Your effort post is retarded.

 

[Canard]

It might work when you have body and no one knows who did the deed... But you being husband and very vocal one at that and it was your bedroom? Just no...

They can get Kayla to plea. Then still take Nick to court and probably even get Kayla to testify against Nick. Or at least force her to commit perjury...

 

[Riverfagg1599]

It seems the pretty good day is about these two new filings in his case?
Seems like an overreaction.

View attachment 6315096 (Xeet / Archive)
View attachment 6315101 (Xeet / Archive)

EDIT:
Glad to hear it! Did somebody un-cocaine your 9 year old? / Funny you should say that - Xeet / Archive
Response to Jersh - Xeet / Archive
Josh frequently misrepresented the truth. - Xeet / Archive
People send him things from KF. Most of it is useless. - Xeet / Archive
"the two filings in the case today matter a lot." (+ use of his new favorite word: myopic) - Xeet / Archive

Missed this banger

 

[Farsided]

This is why I think we should have a rule against consecutive cow of the year awards. It just wouldn't be fair to let Nick win every year.

You would deprive a man the reward of his hard work ?

 

[The Great Horned Moth]

After all the fashion talk, I just want someone to record what Mr. Non-Praciticing-Heat-Allergy wears to court. My bet is on shorts and a t-shirt.

Missed this banger
View attachment 6320439

This is now the best go-to example of how Rekieta implies things. Any reasonable person reading this would read “ask Josh, (he’s a pedophile).” But he never said that, and if confronted, he’ll talk about the 8chan board. It’s all so tiresome and not clever at all. Very sad for a creative writing major