💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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This Machine Milks Cows said:
I just can't imagine what living Pat's life is like. Imagine him waking up in the morning.

:tomlinson:Another 136 notifications this morning, Niki. Robert J Prongay Jr has got some photos of us in Glasgow. Oopsie doodles. The stalker impersonating my toilet has replied to me 20 times. A new account called Fartytitstomlinson has said that they are going to fart on my tits to raise money for cancer relief.

Look at this one, Niki. Someone has photoshopped police sirens onto my chest. I guess I will be about 20 minutes dealing with these. Can you make me some coffee?


Yes, this is what makes Pat the most interesting lolcow IMO. Someone like KingCobra or Cyraxx never stood a chance in life but Pat made it to a fairly high level of success with multiple books published and TV appearances. Then his own personality chose to destroy itself and he created his own version of hell on the internet.

Someone like Dostoyevsky, Kafka or Knut Hamsun would have been able to write an incredible book based on his life.


Fucking hell. I have chosen a bad day to have eyes. It is like he has some kind of anti-matter anorexia. I have never seen him not wearing clothes that are too tight for him. Maybe he simply doesn't even know he is fat despite all of the evidence?

Edit: Dan Mullen has a proposition for Pat.

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Personally I don't see a spectacular response to this but I could be wrong. At best a "My agent is going to find a very lucrative deal for me, stalker. Enjoy prison." And a "I don't need your advice, Leslie. You are a terrible agent proven by your continued cooperation with the criminal cyberstalkers who are harassing my family. You are mentally ill, seek help.
 
AutoClownMaker said:
Upside to the pests - they keep him from devoting that level of energy to his writing.

Given the mantra The Fatprick is lazy and stupid with money the odds are good he's paying for some service to 'protect his identity'.
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It'd be peak funny if one of the Pests actually had a service like that and The Hog paid a funster to collect pestposts.
 
Piggle Rick said:
Bro isn’t wearing a bra, he’s just letting those teets hang loose.
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He'd unironically look much better if he'd just wear a girdle: https://contemporarydesigninc.com/product-category/male-body-shapers-girdles/

C_mon_girdle_hooold.gif

Of course, fats is no where near as lovable and fun as Zapp, and he'd be bursting nearer the chest with those huge mantits.
 
bile demon said:
I love the smug, self-satisfied expression on his face as proudly takes the world's most embarrassing selfie.

"Mhmm, bitch tits coming in nicely. Those zero hours spent in the gym over the past several years are really paying off." :smug:
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Makes me think he actually thinks he looks good and fit.
But he probably only compares himself to the other barflies at Hooligans and the nerds at cons, so back then he did have an edge over those.
But since then he ballooned cosmic proportions and can easily hang his gunt with the worst of them.
He just chose to ignore reality, child.
 
some observations.

first, despite wearing TWO SHIRTS, his disrespectful nipples remain protuberant:
1723830334762.png

second, look carefully at that SHELF of shadow extending all the way around his torso, far beyond his bitch tits, into his underarm.
he has a muffintop in his armpits:
1723830474040.png

piggy is wearing a compression garment, and overflowing out of it.
 
And despite going torso.7z he's still rotund.
You'd think someone this proud of being a gym rat would be vain enough to actually go to the gym.
 
I showed my wife - who knows nothing about fatrick - these two pics and asked her if the man in them was fat. She thought I was kidding or it was some kind of trick - because he obviously is.
 
This Machine Milks Cows said:
Yes, this is what makes Pat the most interesting lolcow IMO. Someone like KingCobra or Cyraxx never stood a chance in life but Pat made it to a fairly high level of success with multiple books published and TV appearances. Then his own personality chose to destroy itself and he created his own version of hell on the internet.
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I'd say fairly high for a completely moronic lolcow who can't write, but his sales numbers add up to jack and squat. It's more amazing that he published anything at all, really. He's similar to Cuck Wendig in that they're both godawfully bad writers, but Wendig at least had a work ethic and got associated with a billion dollar franchise that more or less guaranteed him sales numbers even if he squatted and dropped a deuce between paperback covers.

Their main similarity, though, is they both destroyed their careers with their shitty personalities, although Wendig's is nowhere as shitty at Rick's.
 
AnOminous said:
his sales numbers add up to jack and squat. It's more amazing that he published anything at all, really
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that's where you're wrong, stalker child, his sales numbers, whilst shitty and low and embarrassing (Null could write a book and it'd outsell) are actually "quite good" for the industry, because the industry is a fucking joke.

that big court case over the merger revealed way too many details, basically all fucking books sell jack and squat, but the publishers are kept alive by Tolkien and Rowling and the Bible. Like, literally.

It's a huge slush fund bullshit. https://www.elysian.press/p/no-one-buys-books

The DOJ’s lawyer collected data on 58,000 titles published in a year and discovered that 90 percent of them sold fewer than 2,000 copies and 50 percent sold less than a dozen copies.
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If he ever sold more than that, he's "won" by most metrics.

Which makes his complete failure and loss even more hilarious.
 
AnOminous said:
Most of those one-off books are not by people who would call themselves professional writers. He is not in the professional category because he couldn't possibly support himself with his "writing."
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Fair enough, though I still think that if fats had not gone insane on twitter and instead kept his head down and just plugged out basic bitch shit without trying to get larger and larger advances he could be selling hovel novels for $5k a pop all year long.

Of course, he’d have to be able to write about five or ten a year to make it a real profession but the pig lives on $0 a year now, so anything would be gravy.
 
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