- Joined
- Jul 19, 2020
Maybe one of the feet finally fell off
💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
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- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
Must have finally took that meat shit. Like a log of baloney...
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2015
Dumb people lying will never not be funny.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
Well they kinda look the same if you don't think about it.
But the best thing he could have done, other than maybe look for them, is to see online what can he use instead of juniper berries? The answer is fresh rosemary and a touch of lemon juice, a touch of black cardamom or even caraway seeds. None of them will have the same taste but they all have some aspect of juniper in them. Or hell. Add a splash of gin.
150 BP is NOT normal. That's hypertension. And I would guess the numbers are absolute bullshit.
That's what a plateau is MOM! You stop losing weight for weeks or months at a time then start up again! You're so negagive.
But yeah. He's totally lying about his numbers. And the fact he's eating carbs and the occasional vegetable on the side.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2019
THE GOAT, MT JULIET, TN
(07/24/24)Original:
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densedance
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 26, 2021
No fucking way these two alone at all those heavy caloric stuff on their own.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
What a faggot.
Some places don't have the option to add more options to your bill. And if two wings is enough to get you to have a bad time then that's on you, not them.
Also unless they specialize in wings they don't have the option for a dry rub and of course because of those things, and only those things, he's being "generous" and "nice" only giving them a C-.
Fatty is just an asshole.
You're right. He said they were meeting friends. Friends that, for whatever reason, didn't want to be on camera.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
Have you never met a deathfat before....?
a terminal posture
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2019
The thing is, regular old buffalo sauce is just hot sauce and butter. Jack is OK with eating butter. The hot sauce is (or should be) just pureed peppers, vinegar and salt, and is about as nutritionally zero as red pepper flakes. So, there is no reason he couldn't have buffalo sauce wings unless having trace amounts of pepper in liquid somehow violates 'carnivore' but dried peppers in a rub doesn't.
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- Joined
- Sep 25, 2021
WAAAAAAAA JACK DIDN'T GET A DRY RUB! THEY WERE MEAN TO JACK!
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2015
Jack wanted an excuse to be angy. That's all this is. He went in with a pent up butt mad and blames a local place for nothing.
If you're in a special diet you could check menus before you go. My mother's been a vegetarian for 50 years and somehow pre google always found places to eat fine. Also she's a foodie (not fat) and cooks meat damn well. Pretty impressive for a chef who can't taste as they go.
Jack's at home videos are such a mess I can barely do them and the Jerking Off Ten Guys are rage drool fears. I've seen some shit on this site but I just can't stomach (forgive the pun) the Wendigo vids anymore.
Dearest @Adamska need your brave play by plays again. Will mail you all the rum you need!
If you're in a special diet you could check menus before you go. My mother's been a vegetarian for 50 years and somehow pre google always found places to eat fine. Also she's a foodie (not fat) and cooks meat damn well. Pretty impressive for a chef who can't taste as they go.
sorry for the sentimental moment me love momma basso
Jack's at home videos are such a mess I can barely do them and the Jerking Off Ten Guys are rage drool fears. I've seen some shit on this site but I just can't stomach (forgive the pun) the Wendigo vids anymore.
Dearest @Adamska need your brave play by plays again. Will mail you all the rum you need!
TheCakeIsALie
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2016
150 is stage 2 hypertension. And a high systolic number is more dangerous than diastolic.
Systolic pressure measures the pressure when the heart contracts and pumps blood out. Diastolic pressure measures the pressure when the heart relaxes and fills with blood between beats. No one wants extra pressure on the heart, it is never a good thing.
He’s already had strokes and a blood pressure like that is putting him at risk for more. And it is also associated with a higher risk of abdominal aortic aneurysm and other cardiovascular risks. But what can you do with a non compliant person like Jack? Nothing. He’s going to have another event, be it cerebral or heart, and may not get lucky the next time. I will honestly be surprised if nothing happens to him within the next few years.
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2024
Im so happy he still does Jack on the go. It can be easy to almost feel bad watching a man decay and get worst with every "cooking" video that somehow is even a shadow of the old jack cooking videos. However when you watch jakc on the go you are rmeinded of what a fucking asshole entitled prick he is, and retarded. Its still same old jack fun and you don't feel bad at all
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2020
Considering the general degradation of his health and faculties, the odds are good that if he has another episode of anything, he simply won't survive. Even if he gets to a treatment center in time, either the operation or convalescing from the operation itself is liable to just be too much for his body to handle. It seems like half of him is barely holding together, a biological inertia keeping shit rolling and little more. And even if he pushes through for sheer love of juicy meats on this mortal plane, he's almost assured to lose what little is left of his mobility. Not to mention the distinct probability of (Further) brain damage.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
What can I say, his cooking videos are complete snoozers, and it's a lot more so when it's just him flexing his toys and calling it a day. I did however promise to autopsy his shitty Chicken Parm, so let's do that.
1. Jack's new intro is still a testament to how lazy he's gotten in chasing that attention. It's specifically designed so he can always use it since he can't be fucked to pick the right intro clip.
2. After the robo-child slave says the line, it opens with Jack mostly covered in a promotional for the water services he's getting for his house. I strongly suspect he's trying to mooch for a cheaper price.
2b. There's no fucking way this is a real sponsorship, which I think makes this a scam.
3. Jack is now blatantly lying about how this water treatment company stopped his kidney stones, despite having ones that look like road gravel taken out of him while in TN. What a mook.
3b. Also it's telling he does not mark the video as one that is sponsored. A testament to his non-effort IMO.
4. So Jack describes that two things that go together include parmesan and chicken, and that's sort of correct, chicken and cheese can go together, but it's not the full combo.
4b. Fun fact: the first batches of Chicken Parm came about in 1950s italian restaurants, so it's a pretty recent invention. There's suspicions it's due to some German influence, basically coming from the schnitzel.
5. So a chicken parm can't be made carnivore, even as Jack lies that he can eat it. This is because even the white sauces that cut on vegetables relies on roux, meaning this cannot be.
5b. However, since this fat fuck steals from tiktok and doesn't accredit it, maybe they came up with a shittier hack to avoid this.
6. Alright, so the recipe he's gonna mangle involves chicken thighs, egg, butter, parmesan, fucking ranch powder, bone broth, garlic, and whipping cream.
7. So besides the fact I hate ranch, the heavy cream likely has added sugars unless you check, so this one's a dud too for his fake and gay diet.
8. Jack changes the recipe by replacing the asked for chicken breasts for thighs. Because of that, his cook time should change, since chicken thighs take a few extra minutes. So that's reason one we're gonna get pink chicken.
8b. Jack also lies to himself that 2 breasts equals four thighs, which I guess in amount sure, but I feel like this is mostly fat math to eat more.
9. Jack is dogwhistling about his fears of fake meat by sperging about how he wants his shit bone in. By the way that also adds to cook time. You should debone that fucking crap, but nope. BONE IN HONK HONK.
10. Also I'm noticing no mozzarella. That's usually the cheese that you top what you cook with alongside the salty parm.
11. Jack opens by poorly mixing in an egg wash while calling it the "dip for the chicken". Nothing to really say tbh.
12. So Jack is horrifically going to use the parm as the flour base and the final bread crumbing for this shitshow. So it's just going to be neverending burning cheese crisp bullshit that tastes salty and horrid.
13. Oh goody he's adding the ranch powder to this fuckshow. Gotta load up on that salt to stroke out again.
14. "If you're doing like me" No. No Jack, no one is doing like that. People would debone that crap.
15. Jack legit actually describes how he could have deboned the thigh, and then says he's not gonna do that. Oh fuck off.
16. Jack cocks up how you dredge and flour; you dry first since there's moisture in the chicken that will stick, then eggwash, then you flour again.
16b. I'd suggest using another hand for the breading to minimize the bread fingers you form, but well... he only has some of one left.
17. Jack hasn't put enough to coat the chicken proper, and he's desperately mushing more on that got stuck on his hand.
18. "Sometimes most of it falls off" Jack failing to make a good egg wash with a powder designed to dissolve
18b. Jack actually gets tired by putting a bit of extra cheese onto this shitshow of a meal.
19. So Jack's also just going to bake this shit show rather than fry and then bake. Honestly, that was probably the right call given how the cheese and ranch would burn and make some violently disgusting vapors.
19b. 425 degrees F by the way is way too hot to bake these things in. It's basically just asking to burn the cheese regardless.
20. Jack rails on going by temp for cook time, citing 165* F as the magic number. Since this is bone in, that makes it a lot easier to fuck up since bone transmits heat faster, and you know he isn't going to do more than one reading.
21. Jack also tries to weasel since he wants to eat this slop now that it could be sooner than 30 minutes to cook, which means he's gonna pull it out ASAP and not give a shit that it's raw near the bone.
22. Jack starts the sauce by dumping a horrid amount of butter into a pot, and states that this will tell you when the pot's warmed up. Which is sort of true but not what humans would describe it as.
23. Jack claims the recipe is down below, when it's clearly not in his description, as he throws in the heavy whipping cream to curdle in whatever horseshit this is.
24. He adds in bone broth and the minced garlic to this hell fluid that calls itself a sauce.
25. Jack struggles valiantly to open the parmesan container so he can add more into the hell fluid.
25b. No way in hell is he going to let this slop reduce and thicken at all. Also it's not really going to add any real complimentary flavors or contrasts to the chicken.
26. And the results are in. The chicken thighs are still goddamn pink and bleeding in the center, leaking cleanly out from the bones. The top has browned and charred lightly in places, as it should for cheese.
26b. I suspect, since Jack hates char and browning more than raw textures, that he took it out when he saw what it looked like after probing the bone directly.
27. He calls the horrible hellfluid he made cheese gravy. That intrinsically repulses me on every level. The worst thing is there are white sauces that you COULD have made, but it relies on roux.
28. This is just a terrible batch of shake and bake quasi-fried chicken that tastes like ranch. This has nothing to do with the mother dish at all.
29. Jack begs for you to let the hellfluid cool so the cheese proteins and fats reallign and solidify since he knows this looks like loose jizz.
29b. Jack forgot the butter in this hellfluid will harden too.
30. His instagram photo makes it look like he jizzed all over a pair of deep sea nudibranches. Truly horrific in a way only pictures can show you.
31. Jack makes the visuals worse by groaning "there you go... beautiful..." to really make my description match. Thank you Satan very cool.
32. Oh... the reason he let the visual stretch, besides lazy, is to hide the pink. Tough shit fatboy, we saw it in the first reveal.
33. Jack belatedly realizes he made something approaching a cheese sauce, and snidely corrects himself.
34. Jack licks the sauce a bit instinctively in homosexual urges before he eats the chicken. He's trying desperately to suppress his initial wince from what he tasted.
34b. In order: lick, lick, bite, realization it tastes like burned cheese crisps downed in ranch with semi-raw chicken, horror, suppression of horror to save ego, brief battle with first impulse, NPD victory as he smugly smiles due to the ranch masking the grossness.
35. Jack represses the urge to vomit due to the taste and his dysphagia from the stroke after mooing out a fake approval.
36. Jack relates how this recipe tastes an awful lot like Longhorn Steakhouses' take, and I could buy it. I'd not be shocked if the Tiktok Fatty Doo Doo stole from used it as a baseline.
36b. I will state even that version recommends a panko crust.
37. "This is really good" ~ Cluster B headcase that almost vomited as he ate it due to disgust and dysfunction
38. Jack proclaims this delicious, and while I can see an appeal if done correctly, the ranch flavoring kills any interest I'd have in this. Give me a normal chicken parm over this nonsense any day of the week.
2. After the robo-child slave says the line, it opens with Jack mostly covered in a promotional for the water services he's getting for his house. I strongly suspect he's trying to mooch for a cheaper price.
2b. There's no fucking way this is a real sponsorship, which I think makes this a scam.
3. Jack is now blatantly lying about how this water treatment company stopped his kidney stones, despite having ones that look like road gravel taken out of him while in TN. What a mook.
3b. Also it's telling he does not mark the video as one that is sponsored. A testament to his non-effort IMO.
4. So Jack describes that two things that go together include parmesan and chicken, and that's sort of correct, chicken and cheese can go together, but it's not the full combo.
4b. Fun fact: the first batches of Chicken Parm came about in 1950s italian restaurants, so it's a pretty recent invention. There's suspicions it's due to some German influence, basically coming from the schnitzel.
5. So a chicken parm can't be made carnivore, even as Jack lies that he can eat it. This is because even the white sauces that cut on vegetables relies on roux, meaning this cannot be.
5b. However, since this fat fuck steals from tiktok and doesn't accredit it, maybe they came up with a shittier hack to avoid this.
6. Alright, so the recipe he's gonna mangle involves chicken thighs, egg, butter, parmesan, fucking ranch powder, bone broth, garlic, and whipping cream.
7. So besides the fact I hate ranch, the heavy cream likely has added sugars unless you check, so this one's a dud too for his fake and gay diet.
8. Jack changes the recipe by replacing the asked for chicken breasts for thighs. Because of that, his cook time should change, since chicken thighs take a few extra minutes. So that's reason one we're gonna get pink chicken.
8b. Jack also lies to himself that 2 breasts equals four thighs, which I guess in amount sure, but I feel like this is mostly fat math to eat more.
9. Jack is dogwhistling about his fears of fake meat by sperging about how he wants his shit bone in. By the way that also adds to cook time. You should debone that fucking crap, but nope. BONE IN HONK HONK.
10. Also I'm noticing no mozzarella. That's usually the cheese that you top what you cook with alongside the salty parm.
11. Jack opens by poorly mixing in an egg wash while calling it the "dip for the chicken". Nothing to really say tbh.
12. So Jack is horrifically going to use the parm as the flour base and the final bread crumbing for this shitshow. So it's just going to be neverending burning cheese crisp bullshit that tastes salty and horrid.
13. Oh goody he's adding the ranch powder to this fuckshow. Gotta load up on that salt to stroke out again.
14. "If you're doing like me" No. No Jack, no one is doing like that. People would debone that crap.
15. Jack legit actually describes how he could have deboned the thigh, and then says he's not gonna do that. Oh fuck off.
16. Jack cocks up how you dredge and flour; you dry first since there's moisture in the chicken that will stick, then eggwash, then you flour again.
16b. I'd suggest using another hand for the breading to minimize the bread fingers you form, but well... he only has some of one left.
17. Jack hasn't put enough to coat the chicken proper, and he's desperately mushing more on that got stuck on his hand.
18. "Sometimes most of it falls off" Jack failing to make a good egg wash with a powder designed to dissolve
18b. Jack actually gets tired by putting a bit of extra cheese onto this shitshow of a meal.
19. So Jack's also just going to bake this shit show rather than fry and then bake. Honestly, that was probably the right call given how the cheese and ranch would burn and make some violently disgusting vapors.
19b. 425 degrees F by the way is way too hot to bake these things in. It's basically just asking to burn the cheese regardless.
20. Jack rails on going by temp for cook time, citing 165* F as the magic number. Since this is bone in, that makes it a lot easier to fuck up since bone transmits heat faster, and you know he isn't going to do more than one reading.
21. Jack also tries to weasel since he wants to eat this slop now that it could be sooner than 30 minutes to cook, which means he's gonna pull it out ASAP and not give a shit that it's raw near the bone.
22. Jack starts the sauce by dumping a horrid amount of butter into a pot, and states that this will tell you when the pot's warmed up. Which is sort of true but not what humans would describe it as.
23. Jack claims the recipe is down below, when it's clearly not in his description, as he throws in the heavy whipping cream to curdle in whatever horseshit this is.
24. He adds in bone broth and the minced garlic to this hell fluid that calls itself a sauce.
25. Jack struggles valiantly to open the parmesan container so he can add more into the hell fluid.
25b. No way in hell is he going to let this slop reduce and thicken at all. Also it's not really going to add any real complimentary flavors or contrasts to the chicken.
26. And the results are in. The chicken thighs are still goddamn pink and bleeding in the center, leaking cleanly out from the bones. The top has browned and charred lightly in places, as it should for cheese.
26b. I suspect, since Jack hates char and browning more than raw textures, that he took it out when he saw what it looked like after probing the bone directly.
27. He calls the horrible hellfluid he made cheese gravy. That intrinsically repulses me on every level. The worst thing is there are white sauces that you COULD have made, but it relies on roux.
28. This is just a terrible batch of shake and bake quasi-fried chicken that tastes like ranch. This has nothing to do with the mother dish at all.
29. Jack begs for you to let the hellfluid cool so the cheese proteins and fats reallign and solidify since he knows this looks like loose jizz.
29b. Jack forgot the butter in this hellfluid will harden too.
30. His instagram photo makes it look like he jizzed all over a pair of deep sea nudibranches. Truly horrific in a way only pictures can show you.
31. Jack makes the visuals worse by groaning "there you go... beautiful..." to really make my description match. Thank you Satan very cool.
32. Oh... the reason he let the visual stretch, besides lazy, is to hide the pink. Tough shit fatboy, we saw it in the first reveal.
33. Jack belatedly realizes he made something approaching a cheese sauce, and snidely corrects himself.
34. Jack licks the sauce a bit instinctively in homosexual urges before he eats the chicken. He's trying desperately to suppress his initial wince from what he tasted.
34b. In order: lick, lick, bite, realization it tastes like burned cheese crisps downed in ranch with semi-raw chicken, horror, suppression of horror to save ego, brief battle with first impulse, NPD victory as he smugly smiles due to the ranch masking the grossness.
35. Jack represses the urge to vomit due to the taste and his dysphagia from the stroke after mooing out a fake approval.
36. Jack relates how this recipe tastes an awful lot like Longhorn Steakhouses' take, and I could buy it. I'd not be shocked if the Tiktok Fatty Doo Doo stole from used it as a baseline.
36b. I will state even that version recommends a panko crust.
37. "This is really good" ~ Cluster B headcase that almost vomited as he ate it due to disgust and dysfunction
38. Jack proclaims this delicious, and while I can see an appeal if done correctly, the ranch flavoring kills any interest I'd have in this. Give me a normal chicken parm over this nonsense any day of the week.
So yeah. Jack borrowed from a tiktok that borrowed from a rip-off recipe in a case of Multiplicity. Just with more raw chicken and horrible ideas.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2019
Why would you expect a restaurant with a wings appetizer to be set up to sell in other sizes or have a dry rub?
Its not a bbq place, its not a wing shop. It just has them on the menu. I expect the waitress knew she wouldn't be getting a tip from fatty and friends right away.
Jack doesn't eat wing sauce because it contains vinegar. Vinegar isn't part of the three food groups: solid fat, cheese, and meat. Do you chuds wants him go off his diet? Its practically a vegetable!
Its not a bbq place, its not a wing shop. It just has them on the menu. I expect the waitress knew she wouldn't be getting a tip from fatty and friends right away.
Jack doesn't eat wing sauce because it contains vinegar. Vinegar isn't part of the three food groups: solid fat, cheese, and meat. Do you chuds wants him go off his diet? Its practically a vegetable!
Space Police
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
I haven't watched Jack in a while, but what happened to the drumbeat?
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
Jack's stomach is now too soft and spongy to provide adequate percussion.
Jack's brothers raised him on stories of the milkman.
He was FIRED from his last paycheck job for ignoring the station rules and playing what he wanted. Rebel without a clue.
Now that I think about it, Tammy has bought some fairly spicy food on JOTG, I wonder if Jack's "revenge" spicing is actually a Tammy strategem to not eat the slop Jack cooked. "Oh jack, you made it spicy, I can't eat that."
One of my longest held Jack Scalfani conspiracies is that they ALWAYS eat two dinners when they eat out. So many of the restaurants they stop at are catty-cornered to places jack loves. THE BEAST MUST EAT.
The goat
4 intros. Fart song, robot lady taco, MTV reality show rock, car trip
God slicks the road, Tammy fails to wreck.
That is a FAT menu. And it almost seems designed for Jack. Tater tots for his inner toddler, Pizza and pasta for his Italian larp, Smashburgers for the trend whore, Hot chicken for his southerner larp, Elote which he can ignore because it's for minorities and is a vegetable, Birria so he can bitch about the consume, Wings for his BWW fetish, salads to ignore, Bowls for his inner slop hound, Fried pickles to get bitchy over, This place has EVERYTHING!
That burger is not worth $16, that looks like something that came out of a walmart.
A food review that shows thumbnails instead of food, what an innovation.
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Ihatejackscalfani
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2021
Have nothing to add to the discussion at the moment. Just needed to chime in to speak my peace towards Jack every month or so.
Jack, I love seeing you slowly die. Take your time. Keep me entertained.
Jack, I love seeing you slowly die. Take your time. Keep me entertained.