💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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AprilRains said:
BORN TO DIE
WORLD IS A STALKER
Kill Em All 2024
I am pig man
410,757,864,530 DEAD CHILDREN
Click to expand...
fatworld.png
 
Month 2 of the Trumpenreich.
Bands of Rednecks, organized into well-armed fascist militias, stalk the streets of Milwaukee. They are on the hunt for undesirables. Bad hombres, trans folx, black people. They've been given lists of names and adresses, and at the top of those lists is someone the resistance forces consider a living legend:
Patrick S. Tomlinson.
In the first days of the Reich he used his writing talents to call on the masses to resist, and his covertly distributed political pieces have since become a major problem for the Trump Regime. Merely posessing a Tomlinson work is punishable by death. But Commander Tomlinson, as the resistance has come to call him, is as much a man of the sword as he is of the pen.
A fascist patrol, consisting of a tank surrounded by four proud boys, turns a corner into a quiet Milwaukee neighborhood. From the shadows, a water balloon comes arching over their heads. It hits the tank's optics and covers them in thick black liquid. The trump supporting fascists start to panic. That was a "Tomlinson Cocktail", and the tank is out of the fight.
Then, it goes quiet. Too quiet.
A well-aimed bullet clips the ear of the Proud Boy leader, blowing his head clean off, before hitting the militiaman standing behind him square in the chest. Two down.
Tomlinson breaks concealment, discards his PS-90, and draws his machete. For someone who's 200 pounds of pure muscle, he's surprisingly light on his feet. The remaining two fascists have no chance to hit him as he sommersaults towards them, decapitating one mid-flight and rearranging the teeth of the other using his fists.
He wipes his machete on his shirt, and turns to the fascist scum lying on the ground before him:
"This is why your life is already over, stalker. Enjoy hell."
 
IsaacShraeder said:
He wipes his machete on his shirt, and turns to the fascist scum lying on the ground before him:
"This is why your life is already over, stalker. Enjoy hell."
Click to expand...
With his dying breath, the last surviving militiaman keys his radio and speaks the words that turn Tomlinson's blood to ice: "Send in Jakob Raven"
 
Post Reply said:
With his dying breath, the last surviving militiaman keys his radio and speaks the words that turn Tomlinson's blood to ice: "Send in Jakob Raven"
Click to expand...
Jakob Raven sat in his hovel looking at his lesbian wife. He had always resented his cousin Patrick Tomlinson for being so succesful and tough while he was a loser who did nothing but tweet all day. Suddenly the radio activated in his living room.
 
Everytime I think fatboy has a chance, some major historical lolcow pops up and slaps him back down.

I'm so sad
 
IsaacShraeder said:
Month 2 of the Trumpenreich.
Bands of Rednecks, organized into well-armed fascist militias, stalk the streets of Milwaukee. They are on the hunt for undesirables. Bad hombres, trans folx, black people. They've been given lists of names and adresses, and at the top of those lists is someone the resistance forces consider a living legend:
Patrick S. Tomlinson.
In the first days of the Reich he used his writing talents to call on the masses to resist, and his covertly distributed political pieces have since become a major problem for the Trump Regime. Merely posessing a Tomlinson work is punishable by death. But Commander Tomlinson, as the resistance has come to call him, is as much a man of the sword as he is of the pen.
A fascist patrol, consisting of a tank surrounded by four proud boys, turns a corner into a quiet Milwaukee neighborhood. From the shadows, a water balloon comes arching over their heads. It hits the tank's optics and covers them in thick black liquid. The trump supporting fascists start to panic. That was a "Tomlinson Cocktail", and the tank is out of the fight.
Then, it goes quiet. Too quiet.
A well-aimed bullet clips the ear of the Proud Boy leader, blowing his head clean off, before hitting the militiaman standing behind him square in the chest. Two down.
Tomlinson breaks concealment, discards his PS-90, and draws his machete. For someone who's 200 pounds of pure muscle, he's surprisingly light on his feet. The remaining two fascists have no chance to hit him as he sommersaults towards them, decapitating one mid-flight and rearranging the teeth of the other using his fists.
He wipes his machete on his shirt, and turns to the fascist scum lying on the ground before him:
"This is why your life is already over, stalker. Enjoy hell."
Click to expand...
The Man in the Half Hovel, already an inspirational classic.
 
Hello brave Kiwi Stalker Children.

I heard a terrible rumor...that Patrick Tomlinson may be fat. Some say the fattest ever. Extremely fat.

Is that true? Is Patrick 'Fat faggot with bitch tits' Tomlinson a man of obese variety?
 
wait we know he is LARGE and we've seen the photographs where he eclipses small planets but what if he's just swollen from hot air?
 
Every time I think of how shitty adirondack chairs are, I think of this idiot being upset that he managed to find someone who actually wanted one of those fucking horrid things.
 
LurkTrawl said:
Every time I think of how shitty adirondack chairs are, I think of this idiot being upset that he managed to find someone who actually wanted one of those fucking horrid things.
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you're just not racist enough, they're great to sit in sipping your mint juleps whilst niggers and black men take care of your fields and wife respectively.
 
Has Pat posted anything recent in way of his cooking skills? He did a bit with gardening and of course the chairs. Some outings like his dyke wife next to a wookie, maybe some food from places there and his trips.

Did he realize he's not the gourmet he thinks he is? Did the pests finally bully him enough times with that igneous stone he called a wellington. Or the "chef-y" pistachio garnish.
 
The DEI hire, Kimberly Cheatle that almost got Trump murdered has stepped down. I guess she couldn't handle be grilling she got for her failure. Wonder how Patrick feels about that as that will hurt the Democrats.
 
IsaacShraeder said:
Month 2 of the Trumpenreich.
Bands of Rednecks, organized into well-armed fascist militias, stalk the streets of Milwaukee. They are on the hunt for undesirables. Bad hombres, trans folx, black people. They've been given lists of names and adresses, and at the top of those lists is someone the resistance forces consider a living legend:
Patrick S. Tomlinson.
In the first days of the Reich he used his writing talents to call on the masses to resist, and his covertly distributed political pieces have since become a major problem for the Trump Regime. Merely posessing a Tomlinson work is punishable by death. But Commander Tomlinson, as the resistance has come to call him, is as much a man of the sword as he is of the pen.
A fascist patrol, consisting of a tank surrounded by four proud boys, turns a corner into a quiet Milwaukee neighborhood. From the shadows, a water balloon comes arching over their heads. It hits the tank's optics and covers them in thick black liquid. The trump supporting fascists start to panic. That was a "Tomlinson Cocktail", and the tank is out of the fight.
Then, it goes quiet. Too quiet.
A well-aimed bullet clips the ear of the Proud Boy leader, blowing his head clean off, before hitting the militiaman standing behind him square in the chest. Two down.
Tomlinson breaks concealment, discards his PS-90, and draws his machete. For someone who's 200 pounds of pure muscle, he's surprisingly light on his feet. The remaining two fascists have no chance to hit him as he sommersaults towards them, decapitating one mid-flight and rearranging the teeth of the other using his fists.
He wipes his machete on his shirt, and turns to the fascist scum lying on the ground before him:
"This is why your life is already over, stalker. Enjoy hell."
Click to expand...

You just know he has run this fantasy in his head many times in many variations depending on who his ‘enemy du jour‘ is.
 
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