💀 Horrorcow Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta / "u/Early-Leopard-8351" - Polysubstance abuser, child doser, dog killer. "Lawtube pope" turned zesty Dabbleverse Redditor streamer. Swinger "whitebread ass nigga" who snuffs animals and visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold. Still not over his ex Aaron. Wife's bod worth $50.

[John Andrews Stan]

I also forgot he waited a whole YEAR to get it worked on more. That is insane!

He only got it six months ago.

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

@Fapcop is fucking Kayla while Nick does whatever it is he's doing.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

The good news is that since he was already in the Twin Cities, he and April could pick up some more drugs before heading back to the balldo bunker.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

The report suggested he lost his shit at several points. Including throwing the warrant on the ground.

Imagine the toddler gifs & memes!

This is retarded. The hair testing will have no bearing on his possession charges. My guess is that they just used those to get a baseline to inform the Child Protection issues. In terms of possession, they caught him red handed with the dope scattered all over his bedroom. It'd look worse if he tested negative -- he'd just look like a dealer then. But I also imagine the government has the various clips of him boasting about his drug use on live streams.

I always had my suspicions about Rekieta never being a practicing lawyer. This kind of retardation just restates his complete lack of competence.

He's an attorney in good standing in MN. He's appeared in a handful of cases the attorney of record. So yeah, he was a practicing lawyer for a minute. Not a good one, and not one who could become good, because he thought he was above learning ftom an actual career lawyer, and because thinks the whole system needs to bend the knee and perform how Nick wants it to perform.

He appears as an attorney in 32 cases, including the April Imholte traffic ticket (lol, another win for the Toe Balldo!)

Before that, 1 case in 2021 (civil conciliation; mail to rekieta returned lol), 1 traffic thing in 2020, 1 in 2019, 9 in 2018, 10 in 2017, 7 in 2016, 2 in 2015.

Fun reading.

Looking back to his "active years" of 2015* - 2018: in the 2018 the case against Smith, Nick challenged probable cause and made a 1A argument. He did win that one, but his argument/writing style was...near-Greer-tier.

* htf did he represent soneone in July 2015, when he graduated in 2015? Bar exams are, for most recent grads, in July, results later (oof, Wm Mitchell had a 72% pass rate that July, 69.88% for feb/July combined; common for Feb % to be lower bc it's a lot of second+-timers), then you have to go through a process for admission. Afaict MN has been toying with the concept of allowing 3L students to sit for the exam, but they seemed to be discussing it as late as 2021, so that's confusing. For that matter why was he in law school 2011-2015? That's an extra calendar year in those dates. Was he going PT? Or do they do an offcycle so he graduated January 2015, took the bar in Feb? Unusual but idk what Wm Mitchell had in place.

Back to the cursory cruise:

In Violet someone v Danvers Bank in 2018 Nick writes at least two letters begging the Court to forgive his own fuckups. Noice.

In the 2018 Duruji case, found another apology letter from Nick to the Court for fucking up service and having to beg for a continuance or rescheduling. Lost that one, taking a $16k debt up to $21k by the time of judgment (and last filing in 2023 was a request for additional amounts bc still not paid).

In a 2018 child custody case, there's a document indicating Rekieta failed to pay a required fee. Lol.

2017 drug/gun case (Nazarenus). Nick moved to dismiss for lack of probable cause, testing, etc. Topical! Now, it was 5th degree possession + handguns and about THC oil, for pete's sake, so kind of a big to do about not much. However, I was amused by the motion grounds. Recommend; they'll sound familiar to noises he's making now. But the finisher:

The State’s decision to bring charges on such scant evidence is troubling in a justice system
purporting innocence until proof of guilt. Defendant has been subject to onerous release conditions, confiscation of his lawfully owned firearms, public accusation of illegal drug use, court appearances, attorney fees, and expensive chemical testing requirements based entirely on the ownership of a legal substance.
As established above, the entire complaint against Defendant should be dismissed and his firearms should be immediately returned.
PRAYER FOR RELIEF
Defendant, due to the grounds asserted above, asks the court for the following:
1. Suppress all evidence seized as the product of an improperly issued Warrant.
2. Suppress all statements made by Defendant or Autumn Young as fruit of the poisonous
tree.
3. Suppress the field test results for improper testing according to the Supplemental Report
of Officer Helgeson.
4. Dismiss all charges as they are unsupported by probable cause or evidence untainted by
the unlawful searches
5. Order State to identify the informant.
6. Return seized firearms to Defendant immediately.
7. Immediately end any and all release conditions for Defendant.

2 months later he filed another motion to dismiss. Didn't compare by line though the language seems toned down [thank GOD]. How'd it go?

Well, after the omnibus hearing the parties had to file supplemental briefs. Nick's was timely (!); the State missed the filing date by a date. Nick requested their brief be disregarded. The Court admonished the State and said I'll allow it but defense gets some extra time to reply. In Nick's reply, he starts, "This Memorandum is in response to the State's delinquent filing dated May 31, 2018." Stay petty, Nick!

Conclusion of his brief displays more Greer-style prose: "The State's case is shockingly deficient. The State baldly* asserts...."

* second time in a brief glance of his filings I've seen that term used. It's a fine word, but apoarently he only owns an abridged thesaurus.

From the Conclusion:

The State's case is a fishing expedition [sic**] and Defendants are forced to endure onerous release conditions and the embarrassing stigma*** of having a felony charge hang over their heads. They are forced to endure this at the repeated incompetence of the drug task force in administering improper field tests and the State attempting to retroactively create probable cause that it has lacked from the onset. The search should have never been ordered, the case should have been dismissed at the first appearance, and the case should be dismissed now.
Defendants in this case have been treated as guilty while the state scrambles to justify a
charge of serious criminal offenses over a legal substance. Please return the presumption of
innocence to the defendants in light of the abysmal showing by the State.

Jesus Fucking Christ. I get it; this is not a Supreme Court brief; it's regular work. But this prose is raaaather purple. But, like, the ugly 80s mauve, because it's self-important but also a grab-bag of weak clichés (see what I did there?)

**I'm petty, too. You missed a comma there, Nick. Two independent clauses.
***As opposed the other, unembarrassing type of stigma, I guess?

Mocking Nick's prowess prose aside, he did win that one.

Then again, no drugs were found, just paraphernalia. And things were already in motion in MN to decriminalize possession of paraphernalia. But a win's a win.

Also noting that the D was not present at the time of the bust, a fact noted by the Court in its Order. The Court also noted that (note: no drugs or even residue), there was nothing to show that D had been a "drug user" while in possession of a gun.

It's the thinnest reed, Nick, and these things are heavily fact-specific. May the odds ever be in your favor to make a million dollars.

If Nick was a serious lawyer he wouldn't have been on YouTube in the first place. Real professionals don't usually have time to have a regularly scheduled streaming career.

And certainly not when most of his time is dedicated to literally and figuratively fucking around. Guess he found out.*

* No, he didn't; he's learned nothing.

A gay magazine could use this picture for their "Faggot of the Year" issue.

And they'd mean it as an insult, too.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Jesus Fucking Christ. I get it; this is not a Supreme Court brief; it's regular work. But this prose is raaaather purple.

It reads a lot like Pat Tomlinson’s pro se filings.

 

[Tablet County]

Or… a new beginning. I hear the ralphamale is single every other week.
Cocaine kayla does like to get hedonistic in exotic locales, why not visit mehico

I don't think that's a sustainable relationship. I think Ralph's one pillstream away from expiry at this point.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Barnes is just a sleazy, dishonest cuck. Plus he blows goats.

Why goats?

 

[feral cat #6385]

I don't think that's a sustainable relationship. I think Ralph's one pillstream away from expiry at this point.

That's perfect. He can take Kayla with him.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

Nick barely talks about her.

He doesn't have to check on her for 30 minutes at a time anymore, does he?

 

[Gorton Colu]

Why goats?

Who knows with someone like Barnes.

Maybe they just do it for him.

 

[SparselyFarcical]

That pesky government is forcing Nick to do stuff for his case at midnight on a weekday. No stream tonight, sorry guys.

 

[LurkTrawl]

He needs his small time law practice as much as a tranny needs a condom.

This is either a fucking awful metaphor or the best I think I've ever seen.

I genuinely can't decide.

 

[Permanent Resident Cope]

Nick appeared on MLS God of Law for Valhalla's Birthday on 7/10/2024 - Original Stream
He joked about being a big fan of coke, he said he recently got a pedicure and (almost) got his tonails painted, he spoke about his schedule and difficulty working in trial streaming, he made a reference to his guest house. He did not do any pole dancing for Valhalla.

EDIT - he only "almost" got his toenails painted, at first I thought he said he did.

Spoiler: Welcome to the Channel

Spoiler: Cherry Coke

Spoiler: Pedicure (7/9/2024) if he was being serious

Spoiler: Schedule Complications

Spoiler: Guest House and pissing on cocks, er, chickens

Spoiler: Whole Nick Appearance

 

[BathTubShine]

Damn Balldo, had to take a longer break from this thread and spend some wonderful summer time with my kids and rest of the family.
Glad to see that your cases are going super well, and you are clearly WINNING the evil deep state cabals of Minnesota who try to keep the freezepeach nigga down! Fight the power limpdick!
Still wishing you make million dollar (fees) to pay for all your lawyers, still wishing you'll never get the custody of those poor 5 kids you neglected in your hedonistic and narcissistic pursuit of "fun".
Forward my best wishes to your pilled out gollum and living fleshlight also!(we know you are F5'ing the thread all day, every day)
Never change you son of a gun.

(Nice hairstyle you have currently btw)

 

[bile demon]

IT'S OVER

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

In Violet someone v Danvers Bank in 2018 Nick writes at least two letters begging the Court to forgive his own fuckups. Noice.

In the 2018 Duruji case, found another apology letter from Nick to the Court for fucking up service and having to beg for a continuance or rescheduling. Lost that one, taking a $16k debt up to $21k by the time of judgment (and last filing in 2023 was a request for additional amounts bc still not paid).

In a 2018 child custody case, there's a document indicating Rekieta failed to pay a required fee. Lol.

That's four glaring mistakes in one year. If it wasn't for the plague, Nick would have have been known as the worst lawyer in Spicer. A lawyer that makes Gomez Addams look like Matlock.

 

[Permanent Resident Cope]

He spent a full year with that piece of shit on his right arm

I couldn't imagine that it had been that long it only felt like four months or something. I think he got it in January of this year. This Post is where I think it first appears.

I am very curious about Kayla's actual relationship status. With Nick not there to 'check on' her, will she ever break out of the Star Trek coma? Nick barely talks about her. Not even the vague mention that I have seen in clips. Does anyone who can suffer through a whole show know anything more?

He recently went on a stream for Valhalla's birthday and mentioned getting a pedicure with his wife. A few posts up there is a clip of it. Quick Link

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I couldn't imagine that it had been that long it only felt like four months or something. I think he got it in January of this year.

As noted previously in the thread, he’s only had that particular shitty tattoo for six months or so.

 

[Permanent Resident Cope]

As noted previously in the thread, he’s only had that particular shitty tattoo for six months or so.

Damn, I'd gone back to check again before posting and I missed it. Sorry.

 

[Roboute Guilliman]

Of course, no Kayla in sight

Maybe she checked into rehab, is listening to her parents, and is actually trying to get her kids back?