I am going to lose everything (
self.SuicideWatch)
submitted 5 days ago by
Charlotte-in-hiding
I am a 35 (MtF) pre everything.
My wife has told me if I transition she will divorce me and fight to keep of girls away from me (1m and 3y).
As it is I am disconnected from everything, I think about killing myself all day it is all I ever think about.
My one hope was that she would be supporting and I could finally feel happiness again. But after our latest talk, her stance is clear.
If I don't transition I will kill myself if I do transition my wife will take everything from me and I will kill myself...I am doomed to die alone and unloved.
My kids will forget about me, I am certain of it. If I do it now it will be easier for them then killing myself when they are older. I so wanted to be there as they grew up. I love them so much.
I didn't ask to be this way, I want us to be a happy family.
I am trapped there is no way out for me. There is no helping me, as there is no hope
. I am a terrible person, an inhuman peice of shit. How can I do this to my kids. I have no choice. The world hates me so much, I am so worthless.
The only person to ever understand me killed herself two years ago. I think I will join her as they I can finally have some one in my real life that gives two shits about me. She had the right idea.