💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
I'm not casting shade on Rob who I guess is a troll. And I figured that Jack being a zero-taste boomer would be well accepted. Mainly I'm just irritated when anyone gives money to these soulless tourist places instead of actually trying a local eatery. And Jack lives near Nashville, anyone driving out to Opry Mills for an applebees steak isn't a local.
He lived in a Nashville suburb (Hendersonville) and complained about liberals and the city all the time. Hes actually from Orange County. hes a suburbanite city dude who wants to larp as John Wayne and idolizes 'ranchin life' but he couldnt get on a horse with a stepladder and if he had to shit in an outhouse he would be Karening all over about how it wasnt ADA compliable.
 
Nashville suburb (Hendersonville)

> Hendersonville
> Nashville suburb
lolno.
Because the metro & county governments merged back in the 70s, any village in Davidson county likes to claim themselves a Nashville Suburb (or just claim they are in Nashville), but they aren't. That's like saying Tarrytown is a suburb of NYC.

But if he lived there it makes sense why he's going to Overpriced Applebees for a steak.
 
> Hendersonville
> Nashville suburb
lolno.
Because the metro & county governments merged back in the 70s, any village in Davidson county likes to claim themselves a Nashville Suburb (or just claim they are in Nashville), but they aren't. That's like saying Tarrytown is a suburb of NYC.

But if he lived there it makes sense why he's going to Overpriced Applebees for a steak.
I'm sure Fatty could find a decent steakhouse if he actually had any decent sense about food. You have to remember a few things.

He karens about pricing and will compare menu prices at times to 20 years prior.
He loves pictures on menus.
I don't think he's ever been seen in a place with anything resembling a dress code, ever.
He has the palate of a 4 year old.
Most of his opinion about how gud the fud is, is based on quantity with a smaller portion based on retarded anectdotes that he thinks make him sound cultured(marinara needing to be warm as if that's the only thing that matters, etc.)
He cannot fathom the concept of being incorrect about anything.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qN30Dt4rdPg
They fell apart super hard, in part because the "noodles" are just an overbaked omelet as usual, and because they were majorly overstuffed. Also, he shows off a hand mixer guard which, while absolutely unnecessary for most people, I will concede that Jack probably does need it tbh.

(sorry no archive, will make one later unless somebody else gets it)
He's also too much of a retard to have just cut squares, put the filling on one, and then stacked the other on top. Also, wtf was that "write me if you need me, I love you" shit like he's sending a kid off to summer camp?
 

Jack has been trying his hand at youtube shorts lately. This is an edit from a video he did back when he had two functioning arms. Jack demonstrates how to 'quickly' shuck corn by putting it in a microwave for four minutes. It already has more views and likes than carnivore ravioli. Zoomer commenters seem unimpressed.
 
> Hendersonville
> Nashville suburb
lolno.
Because the metro & county governments merged back in the 70s, any village in Davidson county likes to claim themselves a Nashville Suburb (or just claim they are in Nashville), but they aren't. That's like saying Tarrytown is a suburb of NYC.

But if he lived there it makes sense why he's going to Overpriced Applebees for a steak.

Hes a tourist in his own town lmao. Nothing wrong with hitting up a chain restaurant now and again but those places are the only restaurants he goes to, it's too familiar and guud to part from.
 
Expectation vs. Reality. And just like Jack, his new house looks to only be functional on one side.

378694000_10161117684124583_6808711863658808716_n.jpg

447748977_122168739704039649_4739557781278969593_n.jpg
 
On the livestream, Jack says he coughs and chokes constantly because he's started going to a chiropractor and now he's able to clear all the mucus from his lungs. "It's a good thing." Jack confirms his lung function has been severely impacted and that pneumonia is a going concern for his doctors since the stroke.

Jack also plans on using his new "skull shaver" on a livestream to shave off all his hair.

Jack gives some more details about his most recent stroke. Hilariously, he says when he first told Tammy he was having a stroke, she didn't believe him. He says his genes make him predisposed to strokes and he gets it from his mother. "Thanks, Mom." When he went to the ER for an anti-clotting shot, he had another smaller stroke shortly afterward.
 
where the fuck did they get the money for this? Are Tammy's parents oil barons?
It looks like o.O but in house form. Didn't they just move into a place like this year?
Boomer fucks like them are the reason the housing market is so goddamn fucked.
My theory is that Tammy is a professional book cooker and gets paid nicely for it. As for the house, it looks like they cut corners with the design. I think they found someone to try and replicate a house they saw in a brochure and then used cheap building materials.
 
Does Jack still have the pitbull? I've seen Hope in a video or two but can't say I've seen the pit lately.
 
On the livestream, Jack says he coughs and chokes constantly because he's started going to a chiropractor and now he's able to clear all the mucus from his lungs. "It's a good thing." Jack confirms his lung function has been severely impacted and that pneumonia is a going concern for his doctors since the stroke.
I pointed this out awhile ago, but his coughing has been a warning sign for awhile since it sounds exactly like a Cardiac cough does. He's been doing it a lot since the last stroke and sometimes it just sounds really bad. They're only worried about Pneumonia now because they can't get Jack to change his diet so they probably gave up on trying to save his heart.
 
How do u downsize everything but the garage, the area of the house most people probably spend the least fucking time in.
I want to PL so bad and brag I have a lift.

I pointed this out awhile ago, but his coughing has been a warning sign for awhile since it sounds exactly like a Cardiac cough does. He's been doing it a lot since the last stroke and sometimes it just sounds really bad. They're only worried about Pneumonia now because they can't get Jack to change his diet so they probably gave up on trying to save his heart.
While the Wendigo is eternal for a long time I suspected pneumonia will be the boring end we get instead of a hilarious stroke during a crab leg buffet for some reason he was dipping in buffalo sauce.
 
How do u downsize everything but the garage, the area of the house most people probably spend the least fucking time in.

If you're a hobby farmer, or have a few boats, or being a mechanic as a side gig are all good reasons to have a large garage. None of which apply to Jack, but he has to store his horde of rusted-out grills and smokers somewhere.
 
I'm sure Fatty could find a decent steakhouse if he actually had any decent sense about food. You have to remember a few things.
His idea of a good steakhouse is a place like Morton's or Ruth Chris. And sure, they're good for what you get but they're hardly great steakhouses. He's all about chains which is why he went to Saltgrass. It's strictly middle of the road when it comes to steak. The best description of it is it's Outback without the fake Aussie shit on the walls. And sure you can get a decent steak there. But you're not getting a great steak.

He says his genes make him predisposed to strokes and he gets it from his mother.
His Mom had a lot of strokes did she? So what's Charles and his other brother's excuse for not having them? Oh right. It's bullshit like his first stroke being due to too many energy drinks and his kidney stones due to the water being too hard.

Does Jack still have the pitbull? I've seen Hope in a video or two but can't say I've seen the pit lately.
Saw it in the last Tech Time video:


Hope is on the couch and the Pittie is the one in the foreground.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qN30Dt4rdPg
They fell apart super hard, in part because the "noodles" are just an overbaked omelet as usual, and because they were majorly overstuffed. Also, he shows off a hand mixer guard which, while absolutely unnecessary for most people, I will concede that Jack probably does need it tbh.

(sorry no archive, will make one later unless somebody else gets it)
His carnivore food “hacks” are just the same meats, cheeses, and eggs rearranged into different forms. I don’t get how he isn’t getting tired of this. I get that he can’t eat a vegetable without a heaping side of mayonnaise, but there’s a reason that diets this restrictive typically don’t last long. Given Jack’s lack of impulse control, I doubt he’s actually following it completely. I don’t see why he can’t just have a grilled lean cut of meat with a side of roasted vegetables instead of attempting to make carnivore “ravioli.”
 
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