💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Holy fuck, this man is putting the equal volume of butter on his steak.

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This is like a parody diet. Jack is a cartoon character. He clearly has the congealed group and fats & sweets completely covered.

food groups.jpg
 
Quixotic Man said:
Holy fuck, this man is putting the equal volume of butter on his steak.

View attachment 6034604
This is like a parody diet. Jack is a cartoon character. He clearly has the congealed group and fats & sweets completely covered.

View attachment 6034628
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Lol, and it's such obvious bullshit too since we can see the difference in texture, color, etc. with the damned BUDDUR and mashed potatoes.

It's also funny that now Fatty has stepped it up from a ribeye to a porterhouse. "is that jambalaya or gumbo" fucking says gumbo in a giant font right above it. Then he can't even find the fucking steaks on the menu. The fact that this man.. "I don't know why, who puts mashed potatoes on a steak" no one said he put it on the steak it was simply on the fork. A half pound of BUDDUR is so fucking unnecessary on a decent steak, and it just looks like Tammy is lubing it up for him to swallow whole after cutting it up for him. Needs more seasoning? Don't drown it in whipped butter then you fucktard. Also, mr turkey necks for christmas claims his favorite steak as a kid was porterhouse? wtf. Now he's got delerium about what he was eating as a kid? I guess he could have had one on occasion but wtf...

Also, if they were leaving the shopping center where the Logan's was, there was a Belk there. That means they were up by Gallatin again. Did Tammy immediately pull into a fast food joint after eating at a restaurant to get food for him to eat on the way home?

Also... this place isn't fucking called "Logan's Steakhouse" it's called Logan's Roadhouse. So he can't even get the name of the fucking restaurant chain correct that he expects people to visit and proclaim how he sent them there?

Since it's been almost a month now? Lets see what his charity donation thing has done for his fat on the go channel.
fatty0.png
Yeah that's about what I thought.
 
This was such a fucking mess, until I remembered who Jack is as a person I really felt pretty embarrassed for him.

Tammy has to have that issue where they spread the suffering. Like those moms who let their kids throw stuff around restaurants because they don't want to deal with it at home.
 
Whaler said:
Jesus fucking Christ, you weren't kidding about the butter. The next stroke might be coming sooner than I expected at this rate.
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At first I thought people were humorously exaggerating how much butter was involved...and then I saw the picture...Jesus...H....Christ. There's no way they served that much butter to him without him asking for MOAR and MOAR. How do you eat like that, film it/post it, and not think people are going to say something??
 
SteveGoatman said:
At first I thought people were humorously exaggerating how much butter was involved...and then I saw the picture...Jesus...H....Christ. There's no way they served that much butter to him without him asking for MOAR and MOAR. How do you eat like that, film it/post it, and not think people are going to say something??
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Honestly it's a mix of Jack being a child, retarded and a glutton.
He got caught eating the mashed, flat out.
He did this because it's KEEEETOOOOO
And this was clearly butter. So he owned those haters. Like a kid would stuffing broccoli down their gullet just to "anger" their parents for not cleaning the plate.

Jack I'm so owned. I haven't even had one stroke. I'm practically a loser atheist Democrat! Fuck Jack 5 (strokes) bassomatic 0.

Guys I'm owned. :(
 
Salt and pepper are the bare minimum for a good steak. Meanwhile, Jack ordered a dish of butter with a side of steak and mashed potatoes.
 
a terminal posture said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UDKhBdCqKDA
In an effort to convince us it really was butter and not mashed potatoes in the previous Steak Wars video, Jack has Tammy slather a half pound of butter on his porterhouse before taking a bite (then pretends not to have guzzled the baked beans side).
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A little bit of butter on a steak to finish it off is fine especially if it's a compound butter like a Cafe de Paris or even a simple herb and garlic butter. But just adding an entire pot of butter onto the steak is so fucked up.

The worst part is other than the amount of saturated fat? The steak was cold and that butter wasn't melting.
 
Falcon Sebben said:
A little bit of butter on a steak to finish it off is fine especially if it's a compound butter like a Cafe de Paris or even a simple herb and garlic butter. But just adding an entire pot of butter onto the steak is so fucked up.

The worst part is other than the amount of saturated fat? The steak was cold and that butter wasn't melting.
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It seems like Tammy ate at least part of her salad before cutting up steak for Fatty. He's gotten angy and snapped at her before about getting to eat before he does so she might have actually told him to shut up at some point in the past few months.
 
p1138 said:
Did Tammy immediately pull into a fast food joint after eating at a restaurant to get food for him to eat on the way home?
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Jack on the go being a double booking with a second food place has been a longstanding rumor of the Jack-verse.

I think once they filmed both? Jack and Tammy were wearing the same shit, but the videos were not consecutive.
 
ZipDisk said:
Jack on the go being a double booking with a second food place has been a longstanding rumor of the Jack-verse.

I think once they filmed both? Jack and Tammy were wearing the same shit, but the videos were not consecutive.
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Well, it would mean he got to eat before he eats.
 
When I watch earnest horrorcows such as KingCobraJFS, Kay, or Masaokis concoct and sample culinary abominations, my response is to shake my head and laugh; because they're genuinely unaware of how digusting they and their food must seem to their audience, and the video is a natural byproduct of that obliviousness.

Jack eating that plate of cold butter mashed into a steak - ostensibly for the sake of some severely brain-damaged attempt at pwning his own audience in retribution for their noticing he had obviously eaten mashed potatoes in a previous video - summoned only profound disgust in me. If only there was an active volcano for that silly putty gargoyle to drive his scooter into - His toilet falling through the floor may be the most vindicating end we can reasonably hope for.
 
Marc said:
His toilet falling through the floor may be the most vindicating end we can reasonably hope for.
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It is not possible to overestimate how many men Jack's age choke on steak.

You'd think that's a cliché from a cartoon, but there's something about the 50-something esophagus, the financial means to buy big chunks of meat and/or and the greed that makes them bolt their steak, barely chewing. Booze doesn't help.

It's not always choking, either. If Jack ever seems fine but bitches about going to the hospital/having an operation, and is really coy about why, it'll mean he had an esophageal food impaction. Usually they present late at night after they tried to boa constrictor a steak, then spent several hours in denial/hope that it would pass into the stomach on its own. A couple of hours after midnight, it's time to wake up the gastroenterologist on call.
laryngopharynx-asphyxia-steak-bolus-on-display-in-the-national-museum-M1HDPP[1].jpg
They even call it "Steakhouse Syndrome." Sometimes it's chicken, though. Breaded fast food chicken is kind of pre-chewed, but the breading works like cement.
 
Aunt Carol said:
It is not possible to overestimate how many men Jack's age choke on steak.

You'd think that's a cliché from a cartoon, but there's something about the 50-something esophagus, the financial means to buy big chunks of meat and/or and the greed that makes them bolt their steak, barely chewing. Booze doesn't help.

It's not always choking, either. If Jack ever seems fine but bitches about going to the hospital/having an operation, and is really coy about why, it'll mean he had an esophageal food impaction. Usually they present late at night after they tried to boa constrictor a steak, then spent several hours in denial/hope that it would pass into the stomach on its own. A couple of hours after midnight, it's time to wake up the gastroenterologist on call.
View attachment 6036297
They even call it "Steakhouse Syndrome." Sometimes it's chicken, though. Breaded fast food chicken is kind of pre-chewed, but the breading works like cement.
Click to expand...
this is super interesting thanks for posting. didn't even think of how likely that would be for jack to experience, since there's no way the strokes haven't caused severe damage to his windpipe, since he's collapsed one of his vocal cords already.
 
Aunt Carol said:
It is not possible to overestimate how many men Jack's age choke on steak.

You'd think that's a cliché from a cartoon, but there's something about the 50-something esophagus, the financial means to buy big chunks of meat and/or and the greed that makes them bolt their steak, barely chewing. Booze doesn't help.

It's not always choking, either. If Jack ever seems fine but bitches about going to the hospital/having an operation, and is really coy about why, it'll mean he had an esophageal food impaction. Usually they present late at night after they tried to boa constrictor a steak, then spent several hours in denial/hope that it would pass into the stomach on its own. A couple of hours after midnight, it's time to wake up the gastroenterologist on call.
View attachment 6036297
They even call it "Steakhouse Syndrome." Sometimes it's chicken, though. Breaded fast food chicken is kind of pre-chewed, but the breading works like cement.
Click to expand...
Okay so this is Tranny's chance to forget about the pillow over Jagoff's face idea. The better Dateline method would be easy: instead of cutting his steaks into manageable bites, simply cut them into quarters ... we know he couldn't help himself, and THAT folks ... would be about it.
And oh the irony ...
 
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