Being trans is mental torture!Venting (
self.MtF)
submitted 1 day ago by
becomingabird to
r/MtF
(Trigger warning)
Being trans is the worst mental torture there is!
I transitioned years ago, and just by transitioning I went from being a well-liked person to being hated by my family, coworkers and strangers.
Most days i just lay in my bed with the lights off waiting for my life to be over.
The majority of the world either hate my guts or want me dead just for existing.
Dating is a horrendous mess. Gay men don't fully see you as a man so they won't date you, straight men don't fully see you as a woman so they won't date you, and bi men have way better options out there. So now you're only left with creeps and chasers. Being trans is the worst possibility in every sexual/romantic scenario. Even if you were a 10/10 gorgeous trans girl who's had all the surgeries, the minute people know you're trans you go down to a 1 or a 0
And it's not like I'm not putting in the effort. I'm taking my meds, voice-training, doing laser, doing expensive skincare, but I still only go out in boymode because I know I still don't pass; nonetheless, most people look at me with disgust and hate. My own mother is disgusted by me.
Every time I see a cis woman on the street, I die inside because that could've been me. I could've been born a biological woman and experienced life as a girl. But no it had to be like this! I had to get fucked over by a coin flip!
I wish I never existed. I wish I never realized who I am. I wish I knew what inner peace felt like.