Hi, I am completely and utterly lost. I feel like I'm turning into my transphobic mom. I'm bi but have a strong preference for boys and rarely ever have romantic feelings for girls. All the 'girls' I've had crushes on ended up coming out as non-binary.
A few months ago, I met this sweet girl exactly my age in a small furry discord server. I know that makes me sound like a total neckbeard, but please bear with me. We barely knew each other, but soon we realized we had a lot in common and became pretty good friends. We then ended up sending each other pictures of us in thigh highs. We also eventually ended up roleplaying some pretty R-rated stuff. Don't judge us.
Misty and I grew closer over a few months. I learned that she liked coding and the Wings of Fire book series and had glasses, brown eyes, and short brown curly hair that she wished was a lot longer, but I thought she was adorable no matter what. Her dad was a pretty nice guy but he would get drunk and say really mean stuff. She lived about three hours ahead of me and her grandparents had an RV that she slept in the top of sometimes. We used those times she was alone to our advantage.

Soon enough, I had a huge crush on her. I made a Spotify playlist of songs that remind me of her and it's an hour long and I listen to it while I'm talking to her sometimes.
...Oh, and she's trans. I never see her as a boy, but I'm worried that part of my brain secretly sees her as a boy because of how she was born and the fact that I'm attracted to her. My conscious brain sees her as female, but what if I'm subconsciously transphobic?