💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Obama phone]

I just caught up with all the latest Jack lore, and holy shit this guy deteriorated. I was aware he had a stroke, but I didn't realize how much he struggles to speak in all his latest videos. I can hear the cholesterol in his voice

It made me kinda curious how many times he's attempted to eat healthy (well, "healthy" according to him anyways) in the past, so I did a quick YT search. Saw this, and shut youtube down. Don't think anything else I'd find would speak louder than this

 

[AnOminous]

I've seen open wounds that looked more appetizing than this.

It literally looks like someone shat and then vomited on a pizza crust.

 

[Andoxico]

Anyway, we've also got his retarded numbers for the week a couple of days late.

The associated video. Gurgle-tard makes up stories about his fans trying carnivore diet and it curing everything

 

[AltisticRight]

I just caught up with all the latest Jack lore, and holy shit this guy deteriorated. I was aware he had a stroke, but I didn't realize how much he struggles to speak in all his latest videos. I can hear the cholesterol in his voice

It made me kinda curious how many times he's attempted to eat healthy (well, "healthy" according to him anyways) in the past, so I did a quick YT search. Saw this, and shut youtube down. Don't think anything else I'd find would speak louder than this

View attachment 5895839

Is that a slab of discount meat coated in some kind of abominable charred black sweet sauce? It looks sweeter than a fucking sugar cane processing plant, and he calls this healthy? I guess strokes can be healthy and unhealthy too. I look forward to his upcoming healthy carnivore stroke instead of the unhealthy ones due to his Dyson Sphere levels of slop consumption.

 

[Pig Cups]

Fun fact, the sore/scarring on his nose is caused by him constantly using it to "boop" his Apple Watch on his left wrist due to his non-working gimp arm. What does he even need an Apple Watch for? Dumb fat cunt.

Good catch! So he basically has a zebiba like the musloids get, but instead of being induced by praying, it’s caused by him pecking at his watch like a crippled, witless, stroked-out ostrich.

 

[AnOminous]

The associated video. Gurgle-tard makes up stories about his fans trying carnivore diet and it curing everything

Meanwhile, one of this stroked-out faggot's eyes is barely open and the other is wildly facing in an opposite direction, an obvious sign of severe brain damage.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Yes I will take diet advice from a fat ass so stroked out due to high cholesterol that he can barely form coherent sentences

 

[semitooth]

The associated video. Gurgle-tard makes up stories about his fans trying carnivore diet and it curing everything
GMPg-xkiAKgafhkFAHoAXnV-dzoFbmdjAAAF.mp4

just smother this nigga with a pillow

 

[Adamska]

Even drunk & hungry me would think that's too much... sausage(?). I'm not really surprised at this point that he just dumps fistfuls of random crap into a pan and calls it amazing, but it's no less disgusting each time

Jack's ideal pizza is mechanically impossible to cook, since he's the type of shitstain that wants every thing he can cram possible onto it, particularly meats. He's used to soupy and floppy pizzas, made worse by his autistic reeeing at char, even though he's fine with it on meats.

 

[ChefOptimusCunt]

Derailing here. Its too late to give Jack the tip he needed 10 years ago, but maybe somebody else can benefit. eat some vegetables and rice like the yellow niggas do. If you're a picky lil' bitch you can make any vegetable taste good by just boiling/steaming until it's al dente, then finishing it in a pan with some light seasoning/butter/wine like the cheese eating surrender monkeys do. Or you know, eat it raw because that's the healthiest option and tastes fine as is.

I heartily recommend anyone looking to improve their diet to research South Asian dishes, particularly Filipino. Cheap, relatively low calorie, fairly healthy, just watch the sodium on that stuff and swap basa/tilapia for something not farmed in Chinese chicken shit.
Happy dog fucking, those who can't operate a skillet. Derailer out and I'm sorry for being a backseat souscunt to the thread

 

[Falcon Sebben]

View attachment 5894749

The ability he has to make food look unappetizing must seriously be his superpower.

I can't really think of anything he's made that looked good or made me say, "I want to make that".

But of course the only thing he's concerned with is mass quantities of meat, cheese and grease. Taste and appearance be damned.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=z_M6fSC-6qQ
All you have to do to make steak gud to Jack is to put some garlic butter on it.
(last time I went to Chili's it was vile and I can't imagine it's gotten better)

Who the fuck goes to Chili's for a steak?

The only time you go to Chili's is when you don't care what you're going to eat. You have some drinks, some microwaved food and hope for the best.

Catching up on Jack's recent live stream and holy shit this retard is fully unhinged. Check this out:

I remember an eclipse when I was... 10? It happened on a school day. Totality would have been right about the time we had lunch. Nobody was allowed outside and the windows had the shades drawn. Why? Kids at that age are dumbasses and somebody would have dared somebody else to stare at the eclipse or the school tough guy would do so and later in in the day the school nurse would have had a lineup out the door for kids who took time off class because, "I accidentally looked at it and I can't see right".

Fatty is just being a little bitch because he can't stand being corrected.

So the entire point of the carnivore diet is all protein, zero carbs.

What the fuck is that broccoli and mac and cheese doing on the plate?

Jack, buddy, if you are going to commit to a retarded diet that is going to kill you (faster) at least fully commit.

Carnivore is just a larp like when he was leaning keto.

I mean in that one steak video we see him eating bread. Or when he ordered the hash brown casserole when they went to Cracker Barrel as a side dish to compare it to the regular serving. There's no way in hell he didn't eat that.

Is that a slab of discount meat coated in some kind of abominable charred black sweet sauce? It looks sweeter than a fucking sugar cane processing plant, and he calls this healthy? I guess strokes can be healthy and unhealthy too. I look forward to his upcoming healthy carnivore stroke instead of the unhealthy ones due to his Dyson Sphere levels of slop consumption.

"Healthy" to Fatty meant "no sugar".

He would say things like, "you can add your favorite sweetener to make it healthy" when talking about a recipe. He's bought into the "sugar is poison" line from Charles.

 

[AnOminous]

New Rob.

Fun screen from 1:22.

 

[Sugriva]

Nigga's got that beluga whale forehead

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

I just caught up with all the latest Jack lore, and holy shit this guy deteriorated. I was aware he had a stroke, but I didn't realize how much he struggles to speak in all his latest videos. I can hear the cholesterol in his voice

I've been catching up on Jack too. One of the things that really sticks out to me is just how dead his eyes and his face are. Just look at the photo that he took yesterday. This is the maximum amount of emotion that he can express through his face. He could not not smile even if he wanted to.

 

[Aunt Carol]

One of the things that really sticks out to me is just how dead his eyes and his face are. Just look at the photo that he took yesterday.

Blank stare, open mouth, fat, dressed like a toddler, big ol' cross.

The only thing keeping Jack from instantly reading as a sped is that well-manicured goatee. Any interaction with him will make it obvious he's cognitively impaired, but if Jack shaved or wore a lanyard with a bus pass on it, people would know with absolutely certainty what they're getting into at about 20 paces.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

New Rob.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=QnY37KhXIJsFun screen from 1:22.
View attachment 5897807

Rob's shade to Jack is always so amazing

 

[Shartavius]

I can't wait for Jack to get so lazy that he uses AI for everything. The thumbnail, the voice work, and the video itself would all be generated by AI. On second thought, we could do this ourselves.

Yeah; just deepfake his face onto both actors in one of those “help me stepbrother; I’m stuck” videos. Then, during the money shot, cut to one of Jack’s dishes slopped onto a plate.

 

[Andoxico]

He used his retard stroke-face picture again

 

[A Bit Concerning]

You have some drinks, some microwaved food and hope for the best.

That's Applebee's. Chili's is at least decent most of the time. Applebee's is just shit.

 

[AnOminous]

That's Applebee's. Chili's is at least decent most of the time. Applebee's is just shit.

Chili's has as much frozen shit in bags as Applebee's.