💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
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Fascist Frederick said:
At some point he's mentioned he had trouble feeling hot and cold with the claw, but he's also a liar. It would be very much in character for him to say that he can't feel hot or cold, when he can't feel anything at all
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God, how I wish this were the case. Imagine him accidentally burning it to a third degree on the stove? Or mangling it in the garbage disposal? And not noticing until Tammy comes running in to investigate the blaring smoke detector/why the struggling InSinkErator sounds like it’s loudly grinding up bones?


Falcon Sebben said:
Good.

Maybe he'll stop shoving food down this throat and actually lose some weight.

Yeah yeah, gimme my rainbows.
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*GiveMe rainbows


VenomPlug said:
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Oh, my goodness gracious! First he talks about topping the pizza, now he talks about nailing it? This man’s gastrosexuality is yet another measure of how repulsive and diseased he truly is.

It literally made me think of this:
IMG_1461.gif

Given that Jack loves to bitch about “burnt” pizza that isn’t even burnt, that crust would ABSOLUTELY qualify as burnt by his retarded standards, were it served to him in an eatery. He’d throw a fit. But because he made it and is trying to LARP as a chef, it then becomes The Best Pizza You’ll Ever Taste!

I love to imagine this near-dead, sickly invalid stroking out in a fit of rage after trying (my favorite) New Haven-style apizza and decrying it as charcoal. Die, Jack.
 
AltisticRight said:
Do people just use the pizza box surface as a plate? It's full of dust and debris, and weird colouring agents for all the branding. Fucking gross, pig. At least use this thing called a PLATE.
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I guess I did this when I was living in a vile bachelor pad with three other dudes in college and nobody did the dishes for weeks at a time. But I'd definitely characterize those booze-soaked weed-smoking days as living like a filthy animal.
a terminal posture said:
All you have to do to make steak gud to Jack is to put some garlic butter on it.
(last time I went to Chili's it was vile and I can't imagine it's gotten better)
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Tbh the better the steak, the less it needs added, and I've seen just rubbing with salt and pepper (Jack cannot rub shit to save his life he just plops spice mix irregularly so half the thing doesn't have any at all), then grilling or browning at medium or so on a greased pan, maybe rubbing with crushed (not even peeled) garlic, then finishing in the oven, basting with butter, then letting it rest a bit (another thing beyond Hungy Jack).

My current favorite is air frying until the proper temperature inside, then finishing on a screaming hot cast iron skillet for about a minute on each side, then topping with caramelized onions in butter (and a tiny pinch of baking soda to get them browner and possibly a bit of sugar for onions if they aren't sweet like Vidalia).

I generally only use sauces for a cheaper, thinner steak, the kind you can't even really do rare. If you can see where the jockey was kicking it you can defile it that way.
 
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AltisticRight said:
Do people just use the pizza box surface as a plate? It's full of dust and debris, and weird colouring agents for all the branding. Fucking gross, pig. At least use this thing called a PLATE.
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I've used a pizza box as a plate, i.e. you eat the pizza out of the box it came in, but putting it on top of the box is just retarded for the reasons you described.
 
Agamemnon Busmalis said:
I've used a pizza box as a plate, i.e. you eat the pizza out of the box it came in, but putting it on top of the box is just retarded for the reasons you described.
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My favorite stupid pizza box trick was building a computer out of junk parts into a pizza box as one of the house's LAN party machines.
 
Catching up on Jack's recent live stream and holy shit this retard is fully unhinged. Check this out:




Easiest way to make Jack angy is to use the words "You are wrong". He starts boiling over and seething just because he doesn't understand that a state of emergency can apply to many situations and not just nuclear annihilation and alien invasion like in his stroked-out schizoboomer brain. Then Jagoff starts ranting about the good ole days when kids were apparently kept in school even during bomb threats.

"I wish you guys had it like I did when I was in school"

:story: Coming from a guy who is almost 60 and doesn't see how adding 200-300k people to one town over 1-2 days can lead to emergency conditions. Jack would be the first one calling out the government for its lack of preparedness when Hammy can't find a handicapped spot outside Wendy's.
 
A Bit Concerning said:
There's multiple reasons why you should rest food, mainly to allow muscle fibers to relax and juices to sink in, but also for food to cool and for carryover cooking to occur. This is stuff that you should be learning in a high school culinary class. It's almost scary the amount of narcissism that one has to have to have been cooking for this long with such little knowledge or technique. Same goes for the seasoning he does too. All of this is stuff that you should know or at the very least have figured out if you're going to do cooking as a hobby, let along make money off of it.
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It's crazy to think about how many absolute low-subscriptions Channels are out there that are either run by cooking enthusiastic people or even people that have the professionaly background of the Culinary world to dream to have that amount of Subscribers as Jack has. Yet this motherfucker manages to fuck it up that hard all the time.
 
So the entire point of the carnivore diet is all protein, zero carbs.

What the fuck is that broccoli and mac and cheese doing on the plate?

Jack, buddy, if you are going to commit to a retarded diet that is going to kill you (faster) at least fully commit.
 
p1138 said:
And this, because for some reason he can't use it now?
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This fat blubbering retard is still mad at getting mocked for using some cheap garbage Guangzhou grinder when he had a KitchenAid.

AnOminous said:
I did this when I was living in a vile bachelor pad with three other dudes in college and nobody did the dishes for weeks at a time
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Agamemnon Busmalis said:
I've used a pizza box as a plate, i.e. you eat the pizza out of the box it came in, but putting it on top of the box is just retarded for the reasons you described.
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I've done it too, but I used the inner box. I would tear the box in half so my partner at the time and I gets two "plates", and we don't have to pester over the one doing those dishes for the night. Using the exterior is just, gross. But Jack Scalfani is just gross.
 
EatBeforeYouEat said:
Catching up on Jack's recent live stream and holy shit this retard is fully unhinged. Check this out:

FatRetardAngy.mp4


Easiest way to make Jack angy is to use the words "You are wrong". He starts boiling over and seething just because he doesn't understand that a state of emergency can apply to many situations and not just nuclear annihilation and alien invasion like in his stroked-out schizoboomer brain. Then Jagoff starts ranting about the good ole days when kids were apparently kept in school even during bomb threats.

"I wish you guys had it like I did when I was in school"

:story: Coming from a guy who is almost 60 and doesn't see how adding 200-300k people to one town over 1-2 days can lead to emergency conditions. Jack would be the first one calling out the government for its lack of preparedness when Hammy can't find a handicapped spot outside Wendy's.
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What a dumb asshole.

I'm probably older than most on the thread, and in school back in the 80s, we were given all/part of the day off for "special" occasions, whether it was seeing the local baseball team in a championship parade, seeing the Challenger blow up, etc. I was in high school during the 1st Iraq War and they definitely cleared the school from bomb threats.

If anything now, kids are more involved in school because they all have iPads and are expected to do a ton of homework to justify them. But having a day off now and then isn't a bad thing, actually it's pretty healthy for most people (even kids) to have a "mental health day", especially to partake in something that literally might be once in a lifetime.

But since Jack's never worked a day in his life, learned nothing from his apparently perfect attendance in school, and gets all of his information (or lack thereof) from TikTok and Nickelodeon, he's a lazy miserable slug that hates himself, thus he hates anyone having actual enjoyment around him and creates conspiracy theories in his slughead of why he can't.

A true and utter narc in every sense of the word.
 
desudesu said:
Fun fact, the sore/scarring on his nose is caused by him constantly using it to "boop" his Apple Watch on his left wrist due to his non-working gimp arm. What does he even need an Apple Watch for? Dumb fat cunt.
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If he’s smart it would be for the heart monitor. I don’t know if Tammy can count a pulse off a neck so she could check there.
 
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