💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Useful_Mistake]

It's also why you'd see a lot of books that read on the first page 'Do not buy this without the cover and report all sales to the publisher' or some such.

Yup, they often made it sound quite illegal to own a coverless book

They still do it.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

They still do it.
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I bet they blame unsold stripped books as to why they went out of business.

 

[Markorian]

Jesus saw every retarded thing in this fat fuck's life while in Gethsemane, and still willingly died and suffered in hell for all of it. If that's not the very portrait of a loving God, I don't know what is.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I saw Chris-Chan's alter ego Carlos Chantor and I was shocked at how much like Patrick it looks. Were they separated at birth?

 

[WelperHelper99]

Jesus saw every retarded thing in this fat fuck's life while in Gethsemane, and still willingly died and suffered in hell for all of it. If that's not the very portrait of a loving God, I don't know what is.

Jesus suffered for our sins, including a man that abuses the legal system like Pharisees of old and doesn't believe in Him. Love doesn't begin to describe it. Happy Easter Pat.

 

[Lieutenant Rasczak]

I saw Chris-Chan's alter ego Carlos Chantor and I was shocked at how much like Patrick it looks. Were they separated at birth?
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No, this is the true and honest Patrick S. Tomlinson. The one who we think is Patrick is the fake known as Carlos Chantor.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

No, this is the true and honest Patrick S. Tomlinson. The one who we think is Patrick is the fake known as Carlos Chantor.

Those damn illegal aliens are stealing our lolcows!

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

They still do it.
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That’s the most common one! Haven’t seen it in years. Very strong “tag not to be removed under penalty of law” vibes but I remember some that were even more frightening if you didn’t read them carefully.

Fatricks books should have something more like a prop 65 warning - “may cause untold asscancer”.

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

They still do it.
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I've always laughed when I saw that. It's a quaint reminder that publishers have always been greedy fucks with no moral compass.

 

[Dean Pentel]

In this day and age making an appealing cover is probably a forgotten art.
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What element of this art would make Patty seethe most? The bearded woman has better tits than the ones he's been cultivating for years? That she's leaner than he's ever been in his adult life? That a woman is interested in physical contact with her without significant pharmaceutical intervention? The afro lady is not a lesbian with no upper lip that needs nog farts in her cooch to feel anything anymore?

 

[Dr. Jaime Reyes]

As it is, Pat is not a parent. He is nothing but the source of some extremely low quality genes.

Forgive me if this has been hashed out; I’m still on the beginning of the path to Piglightenment. Are we sure the kid isn’t Pringles Can Jon’s (may he rest in peace)? I’d bet my house she was fucking PCJ before she served Pat his papers, and she had yet to give birth when they separated. Also suspicious is the incredible ease with which she got him to terminate his parental rights. Yes, our boy Pat is large, effeminate, and afflicted with gynecomastia, but giving up your own offspring without even token resistance? Literally letting the idiots win? I’ve always assumed the kid isn’t his.

(Edit because I don’t want to double post and I’m an impatient faggot who posted when he still had three pages to read)

@Judge Holden you’re a damn poet and I salute you.

And hey it’s Easter. I join my friends in celebrating the living God who actually did enjoy prison, voluntarily, and for the purpose of springing the rest of us. Perhaps it is an Imitation of Christ to enjoy prison, and Pat is here to witness to us all.

 

[MaltVinegarRespecter]

How much discounted Easter candy do you suppose Patrick will be buying (and then immediately eating in the car on the way home) tomorrow? I'd wager at least 5 lbs.

 

[Boys Club Rhetoric]

They say “don’t judge a book by its cover” but they didn’t prepare for actual slop like this.

Even Fatrick knows it. I've been punishing myself lately by forcing myself through Starship Repo, (glory to Flonald Plump! or whatever his name is) and he invokes that very phrase at one point, and it felt like extremely meta commentary trying to defend his shit work.

For context, the characters are discussing a ship.

"OK, this is more like it", First said. "Don't judge a book, eh?"
"Why shouldn't you judge books?" Hashin asked.
"By its cover. Don't judge a book by its cover. Sorry, it's a human expression. It means a ratty-ass cover doesn't mean the story inside is bad."

But then a couple paragraphs later, he's accidentally brutally honest. Still discussing the ship.

"Exactly. So undistinguished, our novelty-obsessed brains see no reason to devote precious memory to it. Weaponized mediocrity. My people invented it. I perfected it."

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

Even Fatrick knows it. I've been punishing myself lately by forcing myself through Starship Repo, (glory to Flonald Plump! or whatever his name is) and he invokes that very phrase at one point, and it felt like extremely meta commentary trying to defend his shit work.

For context, the characters are discussing a ship.


But then a couple paragraphs later, he's accidentally brutally honest. Still discussing the ship.

Weaponized mediocrity is The Hog's finest resource. He has more of that stuff than Dubai has oil and poorly thought out tourist traps.

 

[downloads]

Forgive me if this has been hashed out; I’m still on the beginning of the path to Piglightenment. Are we sure the kid isn’t Pringles Can Jon’s (may he rest in peace)? I’d bet my house she was fucking PCJ before she served Pat his papers, and she had yet to give birth when they separated. Also suspicious is the incredible ease with which she got him to terminate his parental rights. Yes, our boy Pat is large, effeminate, and afflicted with gynecomastia, but giving up your own offspring without even token resistance? Literally letting the idiots win? I’ve always assumed the kid isn’t his.

(Edit because I don’t want to double post and I’m an impatient faggot who posted when he still had three pages to read)

@Judge Holden you’re a damn poet and I salute you.

And hey it’s Easter. I join my friends in celebrating the living God who actually did enjoy prison, voluntarily, and for the purpose of springing the rest of us. Perhaps it is an Imitation of Christ to enjoy prison, and Pat is here to witness to us all.

She looks exactly like Pat. It's uncanny and sad.

 

[Lou's Sentient Backfat]

How much discounted Easter candy do you suppose Patrick will be buying (and then immediately eating in the car on the way home) tomorrow? I'd wager at least 5 lbs.

Those are your delusions, stalker child. Patrick has already bought 20 pounds of Easter candy at the inflated price and is using it to lure fresh pepperoni ingredients into his basement. Enjoy prison, wait for the knock.

 

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

Also comic book stores have almost ceased to exist because just to buy the one or two capeshit properties that anyone actually wants to buy, they force the stores to buy all kinds of wokeshit, often with a no-return policy even if they don't sell. These businesses with already pathetically razor-thin profit margins often just went out of business.

all the comic stores i know either shuttered or kept going cause of the video game/card game nights. MTG and YuGiOh are keeping the industry alive at this point lmfao.

 

[Maude Snew]

Weaponized mediocrity is The Hog's finest resource. He has more of that stuff than Dubai has oil and poorly thought out tourist traps.

Wrong as always, stalker, those are your delusions of adequacy again. Enjoy the bargain bin. Just like the knock those sales will never come.

 

[Artificial Stupidity]

fatty patty enjoy prison stalker easter childs

 

[AnOminous]

Weaponized mediocrity is The Hog's finest resource. He has more of that stuff than Dubai has oil and poorly thought out tourist traps.

One thing about the "so bad it's good" thing, like The Room or Ed Wood's movies, is that they're genuine passion projects where you can sense the guy who made it genuinely tried but failed. The it's good part comes from the fact you can appreciate the effort that went into it. You don't hate the creator. For instance, Ed Wood deliberately employed Bela Lugosi in a period where he was a total wreck and would have been homeless or dead otherwise. He knew this because Lugosi was a personal friend. He was a genuinely decent person in a shitty industry. His movies were genuinely awful but his heart was in the right place. He was a lolcow, but the kind you laugh with and not at.

Pat, though? There's no sincerity in anything this fuckfaced freak does. That's why anything he produces, even if he somehow upped his game to reach the level of mere mediocrity, would never be so bad it's good, but would remain so bad it just fucking sucks.

all the comic stores i know either shuttered or kept going cause of the video game/card game nights. MTG and YuGiOh are keeping the industry alive at this point lmfao.

Don't forget Funko Pops. The ones that still exist aren't even really comics stores any more, just consooooomer stores. Fuck that. If I wanted to hang around with redditors I'd go to a NAMBLA meeting.