💥 Trainwreck Gloria Tesch / Sofia Nova - Author of the Maradonia series turned Republithot

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
I've come up with a rudimentary Maradonia drinking game. Here are the rules.

Take a sip every time:

- Gloria flails her arms around spastically (this will be your main source of alcohol for the duration)
- The music drowns out the actors
- Joey is an asshole
- Each time a line or idea is repeated by a character. For example, in the beginning King Apollyon says 'the failure to prepare is the preparation to fail' twice so that's one sip. Then in the same scene he says 'go for the kill' and repeats it about three times, so that's three sips.
- Each time Maradonia is referred to as 'the land of Maradonia'
- Each time there's a scene from the trailer

Take a proper drink:

- Every time there is blatant discontinuity between shots. Examples include Gloria's hair changing between shots (at one point it goes from being entirely blonde and drawn back in a pony tail to having four hot pink streaks to being blonde again but having some parted bangs) different filters, characters changing positions.
- Each time you hear their stock music looping
- Each time there is either a line praising author avatar Maya or a shot that is blatant fan service of her

Finish your drink/Take a shot:

- In every scene where a non-Glora Tesch appears as a character (Mama Tesch, Jonathan Tesch and Benjamin Tesch. Mama Tesch is Arabella the snake lady, Ben is the little kid with the bunny and Jonathan in the party scene).
- For the Emily scene at the start with 'where did this evil come from and why?!'. Because trust me, it's the best way to deal with that scene. It's easier to continue watching the movie if you have a shot and a few swallows in you first.

You'll note that most of the drink is made up of sipping and there are very few shots/finish your drinks. This is because you would die of alcohol poisoning if you actually took a proper drink in place of a sip and finished your drink in place of taking a proper drink. I couldn't work out a way to factor in bad acting because there is no good acting in the entire film. I couldn't even put in something like 'finish your drink when someone gives a decent performance' because it just doesn't happen.

The original link is down so I couldn't check who Benjamin Jonathan Tesch plays so if someone who downloaded the film can clarify I'd appreciate that. Hopefully someone will reupload the movie ASAP! Edited it to clarify I wasn't sure which scenes Jonathan is in.
 
Last edited:
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
lolcow.tv/r/autism on Friday. Starts around 5 PM EST. We won't be showing it right off the bat though. We'll air it once we start filling up.
Click to expand...

rhelmy4u said:
Oh man, For those that want to enjoy Maradonia, you will have to find another way, a take down notice occurred from Liberty Media. Means the Tesches or someone looking out for them is still active.
Click to expand...

How will this effect movie night?
 
rhelmy4u said:
It was my understanding that a man named Stephan Nai signed into a Contract with Gerry Tesch to distribute and raise funds in China. That was why you originally saw IMDB information regarding a chinese actresses. Since that time, all the IMDB credits have been yanked regarding Maradonia. Mr Nai contracted with an Eric Carter to create a new trailer and spin a new series and went back to China to raise the funds. That trailer was using footage from the last "Pirates" movie that had a mermaid scenes. Over a period of months, Nai returned from China with promises but no cash. Gerry got upset with him and fired him. Now, for all I know is that Nai and Carter have decided to pursue interest with their own Mermaid story and maybe, wanting to get back at Gerry for firing them. That might be the case. For all I know, Nai could have raised funds, but decided to create his own story. Since there is already a cult of haters out there, that can give them a good start.

Just three weeks ago, Gerry was supposed to have universal meet him in Tampa with a $10million dollar check, but Hurricane Matthew made that them cancel that trip. Oh, and there were going to bring the lead actor, I guess a John Travot...ha.

Gerry owes people money over the first maradonia project. He has a habit of writing insufficient fund checks. Some of those people/companies want to be paid. He listed a lot of names that I know personally that had nothing to do with this project, yet Gerry listed them on the credits for the sole purpose of making the production seem bigger then it was.
Click to expand...
Universal, which is never just "universal" it'd be some imprint company, would never fly out like that to pay someone that amount of money. Hell ten million would be in variety today, it'd be huge news and the Tesch's would be dripping in representation and press. So Tesch the scammer got his assed scammed and the scammer is now trying to use the Maradonia name for some reason to further scam, or he created this website as part of a way to scam tesch. Not sure which both are funny as fuck though.


Ok I'm going down the rabbit hole.

Whois has this site listed under Angelina Nia, specificaly AngelinaLNia@yahoo.com likely Steven's wife, which is sketch as fuck.

Address is listed as living at a Mailbox etc in Calabassas that's been closed down by UPS for being scammy and stealing mail and all sorts of other allegations. Sketch as fuck as well. https://www.yelp.com/biz/mail-boxes-etc-calabasas

Now the phone number goes right to Steven Nia, Steven doesn't exactly look like he's living the life of a cutting edge effects house producer-- especially considering he's got two videos on his youtube, one of him talking nonesense about interfaith and entertainment.


And the second? All his massive credits in this effects house, what do you think your second video would be? Maybe some of your films? Maybe you talking with a director about his work or doing some work in your offices or hanging with some exec at universal? Fuck no, 1996 Family Film Awards!



Here's my take, this is his only real work, he had a brush with the industry, was doing one of 100 tv awards events that were so big in the 90s and that was as far as he climbed. He took that and started scamming christian wannabe filmmakers with stories about how he could get them huge checks all they had to do is fund him going from place to place trying to drum up money. It's a super common scam, I get hit up with it once a week, I had a guy come to my house to try and get me to pay for him to take a trip to china to get financing once. I almost had to call the cops to get him to leave. These guys are all over, and they constantly put on "events" like the one in the first video to try to lure in suckers.

And it clearly worked on tesch.

Also, I can't prove it but this smells like scientology. There's a certain wiff these guys have and it's wiffing all over.

--------------------------
Oh jesus christ what idiot gets scammed by this guy?

Here's his fucking fake electric car: http://www.niaev.com/Founders.html

And for added fun here he is claiming to be part of the CA State Bar:
Screen Shot 2016-10-13 at 2.02.48 AM.png
And here is a search for his records:
Screen Shot 2016-10-13 at 2.01.31 AM.png
 
Last edited:
Ido said:
Mine isn't too bad, I could probably try right now and see.

Never mind I guess.
Click to expand...

Alright folks, bad news. My upload speed is so horrible that it literally refuses to upload. Sorry about that.
 
So, is anyone going to upload this?
If not, I would try to do so later on (but I will downconvert it to SD because uploading the 720p version at almost 1,5 GB isn't going to happen with my 1mbit upload)
 
FatNero said:
Universal, which is never just "universal" it'd be some imprint company, would never fly out like that to pay someone that amount of money. Hell ten million would be in variety today, it'd be huge news and the Tesch's would be dripping in representation and press. So Tesch the scammer got his assed scammed and the scammer is now trying to use the Maradonia name for some reason to further scam, or he created this website as part of a way to scam tesch. Not sure which both are funny as fuck though.


Ok I'm going down the rabbit hole.

Whois has this site listed under Angelina Nia, specificaly AngelinaLNia@yahoo.com likely Steven's wife, which is sketch as fuck.

Address is listed as living at a Mailbox etc in Calabassas that's been closed down by UPS for being scammy and stealing mail and all sorts of other allegations. Sketch as fuck as well. https://www.yelp.com/biz/mail-boxes-etc-calabasas

Now the phone number goes right to Steven Nia, Steven doesn't exactly look like he's living the life of a cutting edge effects house producer-- especially considering he's got two videos on his youtube, one of him talking nonesense about interfaith and entertainment.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Y1yz3U3bIKM
And the second? All his massive credits in this effects house, what do you think your second video would be? Maybe some of your films? Maybe you talking with a director about his work or doing some work in your offices or hanging with some exec at universal? Fuck no, 1996 Family Film Awards!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=MFiqldpZvQI

Here's my take, this is his only real work, he had a brush with the industry, was doing one of 100 tv awards events that were so big in the 90s and that was as far as he climbed. He took that and started scamming christian wannabe filmmakers with stories about how he could get them huge checks all they had to do is fund him going from place to place trying to drum up money. It's a super common scam, I get hit up with it once a week, I had a guy come to my house to try and get me to pay for him to take a trip to china to get financing once. I almost had to call the cops to get him to leave. These guys are all over, and they constantly put on "events" like the one in the first video to try to lure in suckers.

And it clearly worked on tesch.

Also, I can't prove it but this smells like scientology. There's a certain wiff these guys have and it's wiffing all over.

--------------------------
Oh jesus christ what idiot gets scammed by this guy?

Here's his fucking fake electric car: http://www.niaev.com/Founders.html

And for added fun here he is claiming to be part of the CA State Bar:
View attachment 143856
And here is a search for his records:
View attachment 143857
Click to expand...

Joke's on him. Gerry doesn't have enough money left to steal.
 
January Cyst said:
So, is anyone going to upload this?
If not, I would try to do so later on (but I will downconvert it to SD because uploading the 720p version at almost 1,5 GB isn't going to happen with my 1mbit upload)
Click to expand...
Upload it please, just to be safe. We'd prefer it on Google drive, or even better, yourube. Be sure to rename it first if you go with the latter.
 
FatNero said:
Also their demo reel has videos in really out of proportion aspect ratios from one another, something an effects house would fix.

I think one of two things is happening here. There's a total scam, or they hired or are founded by a compositor who worked on all these films and they're listing them quite scammily as company credits.
Click to expand...

After some quick googling, I was able to find the original VFX reels - so it's possible that whatever company Gerry went to is not legit.

I listed them in the order they appear in the original along with time stamps.

 
MrAtlus said:
After some quick googling, I was able to find the original VFX reels - so it's possible that whatever company Gerry went to is not legit.

I listed them in the order they appear in the original along with time stamps.

https://vimeo.com
https://youtube.com/watch?v=EbOKwIPu7C4
https://vimeo.com
https://youtube.com/watch?v=q25kJsiZD3s
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HcBSLwnKciw
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1S-1QfVcbGQ
Click to expand...
Yeah the style of it was clearly quickly cribbed from Stargate Studios reels, I wouldnt be surprised if the music was taken directly from one of their vids.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom