💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
Because he'd be screeching about the gay agenda and he imagines Sting in his head at home, like he normally does whenever "the gays" exist in a movie as an unnecessary deflection.
I know it's an often bogus characterization that anyone who expresses "homophobic" sentiments is secretly gay, but Jack seriously sounds like Chris-Chan with his Sailor Moon posters to "keep him straight" when he goes off on that subject. That combined with him having a panic when he sees boobeh really adds up to him being gay.
 
His ineptitude at being a human being is so mind-boggling, it becomes funny. Jack's only redeeming feature is that his stroke gurglings and terrible cooking make me laugh. And that's the only reason why I'll be sad when he bites it.

There's definitely a morbid absurdity to Jack getting three different strokes for the same exact reasons. Like a Shakespearean tragedy that turns into a comedy as the fat man tempts fate feeding into his gluttony.

Then you realize this might be his fifth or even sixth stroke. And Jack's now a drooling cripple with half his face melting, You don't sympathize with the guy, but his life feels more like a Junji Ito story to be grossed out over than anything to laugh at.

Not that proudly trying to poison an entire church with rotten meat chili, or trying to pass off uncooked chicken as delicious, is never not funny; but even the cooking is too pathetic to laugh at anymore.

I know it's an often bogus characterization that anyone who expresses "homophobic" sentiments is secretly gay, but Jack seriously sounds like Chris-Chan with his Sailor Moon posters to "keep him straight" when he goes off on that subject. That combined with him having a panic when he sees boobeh really adds up to him being gay.

There's definitely merit to the whole 'projection hiding insecurity' concept, especially with cows like Chris and Vaush decrying the things they're secretly ashamed of. Or really outspoken anti-lgbt boomers like Senator Larry Craig who ended up being outed as a massive faggot for blowing dudes in bathrooms at airports.
 
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Or really outspoken anti-lgbt boomers like Senator Larry Craig who ended up being outed as a massive faggot for blowing dudes in bathrooms at airports.
That was a total misunderstanding. He just has a "wide stance" on the crapper.
 
I know it's an often bogus characterization that anyone who expresses "homophobic" sentiments is secretly gay, but Jack seriously sounds like Chris-Chan with his Sailor Moon posters to "keep him straight" when he goes off on that subject. That combined with him having a panic when he sees boobeh really adds up to him being gay.
He has openly admitted to having gay thoughts and thinks it's a choice at least on one occasion. We have soundbite evidence of this and everything from one of his shitty podcasts.
 
He has openly admitted to having gay thoughts and thinks it's a choice at least on one occasion. We have soundbite evidence of this and everything from one of his shitty podcasts.
Reality is if you have gay thoughts you have to fend off, YOU ARE GAY.
 
He has openly admitted to having gay thoughts and thinks it's a choice at least on one occasion. We have soundbite evidence of this and everything from one of his shitty podcasts.
I mean, he's right.

Proposition I (AR, 2024)
If you present, to a gay man, the option to have sexual intercourse with Jack Scalfani or an average woman. The gay man will choose the average woman.

Proposition II (AR, 2024)
If you present, to a straight man, the option to have sexual intercourse with Jack Scalfani or an average man. The straight man will choose the average man.

Jack is FAT and I will NOT have sex with him.
 
Also I love me a hot dog. It's a guilty pleasure, kraut is my #1 if not spicy mustard. To this day I'm truly heartbroken costco cut the kraut and only has yellow mustard. I feel like I lost a friend.
Don’t feel too guilty about it, I love me a good coney dog so if I have the cash I get myself a chili dog from Coney Island when I get the chance. mmmm goyslop
Hot dogs are how I open and close the grill every year.

First thing to be grilled is always a dog. Onions, hot mustard or yellow mustard and hot peppers. And that's only if I don't have any kimchi.
Hot dog sperging, eh?

I used to love going to the century-old George’s Coney Island in Worcester, MA when I was a kid. It’s still there to this day, and just oozes with charm.
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Nowadays when I want to treat myself, I usually wait until my next trip to FL, where there is Dune Dog Café. Best hot dogs I’ve ever tasted in my life. Here’s the dog section of their menu:
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Sweet onions and peppers like the ballpark street vendors are god-tier but there are few things that aren't good on a dog. Brown mustard, tomatoes, kraut, relish, I don't even have the stick up my butt that the anti-ketchup crowd do, but when you grow up, at least try more sophisticated things. Anything but celery salt though, fuck celery salt.
Celery salt is gud.

I do wholeheartedly agree with you that it is imperative for one to try more sophisticated hot dog toppings when they mature, though.


Also shaved parm all the way. Even if it's the one from the supermarket. The powder stuff straight out a shaker never tastes like much of anything.
More often than not, the shaker cheeses are packed with fillers, sawdust, etc. However, I prefer shaved parm as an accompaniment to salads and not much else.

My favorite method is to cut the wedge of Parmigiano Reggiano into small blocks, and grind them down in my food processor. The texture you get is perfect.
 
More often than not, the shaker cheeses are packed with fillers, sawdust, etc. However, I prefer shaved parm as an accompaniment to salads and not much else.

My favorite method is to cut the wedge of Parmigiano Reggiano into small blocks, and grind them down in my food processor. The texture you get is perfect.
yeah, shaved parm doesn't distribute the flavor as well as grated parm(shaker parm is still shit). I'd rather just get a block of parmesan from the store and grate some of that over something most times. Grated on a salad, you might as well include it in the dressing at that point as it won't really give the rest of the salad an opportunity to stand out on its own while you're eating it.(this is assuming you don't drown a salad in dressing like Tammy does, and appreciate the taste and texture of fresh produce unlike Fatty).
 
I used to love going to the century-old George’s Coney Island in Worcester, MA when I was a kid. It’s still there to this day, and just oozes with charm.

That Coney Island somehow feels like the realer deal than Nathan's over at the actual Coney Island, and it is cozy to boot. Ill be sure to head down to the Dune Dog Café when I visit Florida; even the Sea Dog sounds delicious!

However, I prefer shaved parm as an accompaniment to salads and not much else.

My favorite method is to cut the wedge of Parmigiano Reggiano into small blocks, and grind them down in my food processor. The texture you get is perfect.

Ideally I'd get shaved parm, either from a Kirkland-brand container or doing it by hand, but I do have a guilty pleasure over eating cold shaved parm over warm pizza.
yeah, shaved parm doesn't distribute the flavor as well as grated parm(shaker parm is still shit). I'd rather just get a block of parmesan from the store and grate some of that over something most times. Grated on a salad, you might as well include it in the dressing at that point as it won't really give the rest of the salad an opportunity to stand out on its own while you're eating it.(this is assuming you don't drown a salad in dressing like Tammy does, and appreciate the taste and texture of fresh produce unlike Fatty).

I've always been a bit more utilitarian when it comes to making salads (to me, dressing a salad will only make you want other foods), so shaved parm's often a much appreciated topping to cut through whatever kale and unseasoned chicken I added in
 
yeah, shaved parm doesn't distribute the flavor as well as grated parm(shaker parm is still shit). I'd rather just get a block of parmesan from the store and grate some of that over something most times. Grated on a salad, you might as well include it in the dressing at that point as it won't really give the rest of the salad an opportunity to stand out on its own while you're eating it.(this is assuming you don't drown a salad in dressing like Tammy does, and appreciate the taste and texture of fresh produce unlike Fatty).
You buy a wedge of it at Costco, or if you're cheap by some Grana Padano which is practically the same thing but half the price and that stuff lasts forever.

You never throw away the rind though. Freeze it if necessary but you add it to things like Minestrone or some slow cooked sauce when it's cooking and it adds flavor.

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His carnivore lifestyle has gotten out of control; now he's trying to consume puppies.
This is where he had eaten onions and was blowing it in Hope's face like an asshole.

Poor pup having to deal with an asshole like Fatty for an owner.
 
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