💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
In May 2020, Mr Tomlinson’s home was swatted for the first time when two police officers turned up “ready to go” at his home late one night demanding to know where “the children” were.
The swat came soon after stalkers had created a bogus Craigslist advert with Mr Tomlinson’s home address bizarrely claiming that he was kidnapping African-American children, and “grinding them down to make pepperoni”.
The twisted claim has echoes of the “pizzagate” conspiracy theory, which claimed that Democratic Party insiders were keeping child sex slaves in a pizza parlour in Washington DC.
Click to expand...

Also linking fatrick's melanated basement pepperoni to pizzagate has got to be a first in the fat saga

Mr Tomlinson has refused to cave despite the ongoing threats to his life, and he and his wife suffering from PTSD and chronic insomnia.
Rather than relocating or going into hiding, he said he had invested in a top-of-the line security system and bought a “small arsenal of weapons” to protect himself.
“I bought my wife a gun for Christmas, just so she could feel more at ease.”
Click to expand...
I swear to fucking god if this is the start of fatrick turning into a latter day jace connor i am going to fucking shart myself to death laughing

A judge also ordered Mr Tomlinson to pay the anonymous blogger behind the website $23,700 in legal fees.
That figure has ballooned to $50,000 with interest and penalties, and Mr Tomlinson said the group behind the blog was trying to bankrupt him and take his house.
Click to expand...
Even in puff pieces he needs to be reminded to PAYQUASI

Mr Tomlinson has documented the years of harassment on Twitter, now X, with the posts often enraging the stalkers and drawing dozens of abusive responses.
Click to expand...
Of all the emotions fatrick has made stalker childs, rascals, brothermen, and scalliwags alike feel....amusement, schadenfreude, disgust, cringe, pity.....rage has never entered the conversation. At worst there has been contempt for certain domestic violence incidents and palling around with pedoforks.....but rage is antithetical to the joy we feel on the daily knowing he still draws breath to entertain us

Mr Tomlinson says that security cameras captured stalkers defacing his house and motorcycles. In another cruel move, the group also posted audio on YouTube of Mr Tomlinson screaming in frustration as he is being swatted.
Click to expand...
Fuck was it a mistake to read this during work hours....how the hell am I gonna waddle back into the office with a straight face after this masterpiece?
 
Last edited:
This reads like a Jackie piece. Probably got written without research as soon as they found out she was part of the Homosexual Melanated Association of America
 
being british is a tragedy but at least they're not patrick s. tomlinson. i hope all britbongs who read this feel a bit better about life knowing they aren't this fat faggot with bitch tits.
 
The best part of the article is how it says that although celebrities might have security guards etc Fatrick doesn’t because he’s just a regular citizen. That would fucking buuuuurn for him. Eat shit Pattycakes, you’re nobody special.
 
Judge Holden said:
Cease thine STALKER: Shadow of CherNoChild yapping, fatrick is back on xitter and six minutes ago he revealed that a britbong clickbait outlet wrote a fawning textwall article about him
Click to expand...
much like its more pompous cousin the Guardian, the Independent is a former broadsheet paper stuffed to the gills with trust-fund soyfaggots who are too stupid and lazy to do any real work (e.g. when they dropped the ball in a big way by using Wikipedia as their sole source of information; on the plus side, the last sentence is hilarious)
something lulzy about it is that its sales, never great, became so bad round about 2010 it had to cut costs by ceasing publication of its physical edition altogether
 
An Sionnach Seang said:
much like its more pompous cousin the Guardian, the Independent is a former broadsheet paper stuffed to the gills with trust-fund soyfaggots who are too stupid and lazy to do any real work
something lulzy about it is that its sales, never great, became so bad round about 2010 it had to cut costs by ceasing publication of its physical edition altogether
Click to expand...
Its been shameless clickbait shit for a decade plus now. Round bout the time it went online only. When you look through various cancerous fads from muh-manspreading to troonery to shrieking about how dangerous and evil the never ending line of new literal-hitlers from drumph to jordan peterson were, I wager atleast a quarter to a third of the articles used to rubber stamp shit with media authenticity were shat out by the independant and its total lack of standards allowing literally fucking any retard get an article published

And now it is gunt guarding the man of pig himself....
 
bisonwarlock said:
Do you think “Sweet Child o‘ Mine” is Tumslinson‘s favorite Guns N’ Roses song?
Click to expand...
He probably prefers some gay ballad like November Rain. Though him singing "sweet chiiiiild, little baby child" in his jizz-infused voice would probably be funny.
 
In the dim recesses of the night, when shadows coil like serpents and the air hangs heavy with the weight of unspoken sins, there exists a truth that whispers through the barren corridors of the soul. It is a truth that echoes through the desolation of existence, a truth that renders futile the feeble attempts of mortal men to escape the inexorable grasp of destiny.

In the cold, unforgiving silence that blankets the world, there stands a solitary figure, a specter of remorseless determination cloaked in the shroud of darkness. His eyes, twin orbs of obsidian piercing through the veil of night, betray a hunger that knows no satiety, a hunger born of a primal urge to possess, to consume, to destroy.

And in the depths of his depravity, he fixates upon his quarry, a hapless victim ensnared in the tangled web of his obsession. For her, there is no sanctuary, no refuge from the relentless pursuit of her tormentor.

"This is why your life is already over, stalker," he murmurs, his voice a sepulchral whisper that cuts through the stillness of the night like a blade forged in the fires of damnation. His words hang in the air like a death knell, tolling the final requiem for a life lost to the abyss.

And as he delivers his damning verdict, a pall descends upon the world, suffusing the darkness with a palpable sense of foreboding. For in his proclamation lies a grim prophecy, a portent of the fate that awaits the wretched souls who dare to defy the natural order of existence.

"Enjoy prison," he intones, his voice dripping with a venomous contempt that seeps into the very marrow of her bones. It is a curse disguised as a blessing, a cruel mockery of the frailty of human hope in the face of overwhelming despair.

And so, as the tendrils of fate coil ever tighter around their doomed souls, they are left to wander the desolate wasteland of their own making, haunted by the specter of their inevitable demise. In the end, there is no escape, no redemption, no salvation. There is only the abyss, yawning wide to swallow them whole, and the eternal darkness that awaits beyond.

fatpathat.jpeg
 
AnOminous said:
He probably prefers some gay ballad like November Rain. Though him singing "sweet chiiiiild, little baby child" in his jizz-infused voice would probably be funny.
Click to expand...
His youtube account has another playlist on it which suggests his musical likes


They include

Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Nickelback
Linkin Park
Foo Fighters
Marylin Manson
Muse
Korn
Coldplay
Alien Ant Farm
Nine Inch Nails

Ya know......I aint really qualified to judge even a literal, physical, mental, emotional, gastronomical, spiritual, and philosophical pig about his music tastes as my own interest in music has plenty of shit that can be mocked or sneered at......but this just screams "cliche consoomer tunes" at me. Im surprised there isnt Maroon 5 on the list
 
Something Awful said:
View attachment 5704150

This is my favorite part. "Legitimized by journalists" is such a mind-bendingly stupid phrase that I don't even have the words to make fun of it properly.

Well, that and putting clown emojis all over her... whatever that image is supposed to be. They cut deep.


edit: doh, wrong thread, oh well. I'm talking about Jackie obviously.
Click to expand...
Given that Westerners no longer trust journalist she should have mentioned something about politicians instead since people seem to trust them more nowadays.
 
“Hot take: I’ve never found Norm Macdonald funny and was pretty sure all my comedy friends who did were either nuts or screwing with me,”

You already know
Imagine shitting on Norm. I'd trade a million Pat's for one more Norm.
e5bab1ebfa13911f12fb42780fd52614.jpg
 
Judge Holden said:
Link for reference https://archive.is/tKub4
Click to expand...
Another one, since some websites are deleting those dangerous non-inclusive neurotypical middle class blue collar archives:

Might as well go all the way and properly scratch the archiving itch and guarantee some laughs for the next generation.

Here are local copies of all episodes of the Patrick Tomlinson Saga documentary by Cryptic Web Chronicles. Just in case Youtube decides to send the channel the way of the Dodo (which just hit me as an adequate metaphor, since we are talking about another fat, weird looking creature whose own inability to adapt to human behaviour caused its demise).

01 - How Twitter Ruined A Life


02 - The Most Trolled Man On The Internet


03 - How Trolls Exposed His Disturbing Secret

04 - The Most Swatted Man On The Internet


05 - Joining Forces With A Disgraced Troll


06 - The Disturbed Cult that Worships a _Trolling Victim


07 - The Lolcow That Can't Stop Losing In Court
 
Judge Holden said:
His youtube account has another playlist on it which suggests his musical likes


They include

Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Nickelback
Linkin Park
Foo Fighters
Marylin Manson
Muse
Korn
Coldplay
Alien Ant Farm
Nine Inch Nails

Ya know......I aint really qualified to judge even a literal, physical, mental, emotional, gastronomical, spiritual, and philosophical pig about his music tastes as my own interest in music has plenty of shit that can be mocked or sneered at......but this just screams "cliche consoomer tunes" at me. Im surprised there isnt Maroon 5 on the list
Click to expand...
That is some basic bitch late-90s-to-mid-2000s-angsty-white boy shit right there. All he's missing is Slipknot and My Chemical Romance to really round it out.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom