"My hairline has not moved in twenty years, child. And yes, it is."
"Jon is dead, stalker. And you are mentally ill."
"I don't live in half a house, child. I live in a whole house. The other whole house I own is a duplicate of the one I live in, so living in it, too, would be redundant."
"No, child. It isn't. Nor is it half a house. It is a whole house."
"I don't make pepperonis, child. And I don't know anyone named "Nikki.
No, child. Everything you have said is a lie. Every word. Just like always."
"No, child. She wasn't.
No, child. He wasn't.
No, child. He isn't.
No, child. She isn't, and never was.
No, child. I didn't, and never will.
And somehow I sincerely doubt the last claim, child.
Quite literally everything you have ever claimed about me or my family has been demonstrably false. You wouldn't know a fact if it was running down your thighs. But yes, you most certainly are done here, and everywhere."
"I care about beating you. Which I have been able to do over, and over, and over again, because in addition to being losers, you're also undisciplined, self-destructive morons.
That's real fun, child."
"No, child. Those are not Star Wars toys. Those are custom models I scratch-built using craftsmanship learned over several decades of experience."
"And no, child. That is a British rock band that appeals to a wide range of music lovers.
The truth is you are a child, child. Denying it changes nothing."
"Yes, child. I invested $5k to get my twitter suspension overturned. That is true. I've since made it back as a result and then some."
"Sure, I have a few vanity pounds I could lose, and have been. That is not the same as being overweight or obese, child."
"Wrong as always, child. All of my views are those of a true and intellectually consistent conservative, and I most certainly do hold family values close."
"I don't shine shoes for money, child. I write books."
