💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
why won't he NAME the "tik tok brand?" why won't he name the actual name of the wal-mart cup? why did he change the intro voice? and most of all, isn't it about time he filmed a new cooking with jack intro? i'd love to see his antics in present day, considering he just almost lost his balance while pouring ice from a measuring cup
 
lindsayfan said:
why won't he NAME the "tik tok brand?" why won't he name the actual name of the wal-mart cup? why did he change the intro voice? and most of all, isn't it about time he filmed a new cooking with jack intro? i'd love to see his antics in present day, considering he just almost lost his balance while pouring ice from a measuring cup
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Jack refuses to give useful info in any review. I've never seen more useless reviews than the ones Jack does.
 
topshrek said:
I believe its actually in reference to the governor of Texas using the Texas National Guard to close certain border crossings and not allowing the federal Border Patrol access to re-open them.

However a much more efficient use of taxpayer dollars would be to deploy Jack to the border and use his corpulent body mass to block illegal immigrants from crossing. Though Border Patrol may get confused and open fire on Jack since he's phenotypically indistinguishable from your average fat old Mexican man
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Just give Jack a lawn chair, and bottomless bbq ribs, and place him right at the crossing under a big sign that says "This could be you! Immigrate now!". Immediately shatter the illusion of a better future in the north.

Sonic T said:
View attachment 5649050
Bitch boy is seething in The Jack Pack group because none of his posts in there gets any hits.
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>We
So do you think this is Jack continuing his "I am a serious organization" LARP or do you think this means Tammy's helping with his posting.
 
EatBeforeYouEat said:
Why did he need Tammy's help to make this video? Do you guys think Jack can stand from a seated position? I think walking even short distances is out of the question. I think someone has to help him prop up against the counter and then help him get back in the mobility scooter once he stops filming.
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Fatty, walking? LOL. He hasn't done that since the last stroke. They prop him up against the counter. The man can't shit by himself ffs.

Tammy turns the camera on and off. Fatty avoids doing any editing and relies on the camera being stopped and started.
Do you believe that Fatty could take the lids off those cups by himself? Notice the cut at 2:03. He's only halfassed screwing on the lid for the walmart cup, and couldn't be shown putting the lid on the stanley cup(which isn't actually closed).
Unless they have a fridge with an icemaker/dispenser he can bump, Tammy needs to get the ice out of the freezer.
He did another lazy still shot of the cups and changed the text for the time. Didn't actually show the change over time(he did this for his last cup video as well).
 
EatBeforeYouEat said:
Why did he need Tammy's help to make this video? Do you guys think Jack can stand from a seated position? I think walking even short distances is out of the question. I think someone has to help him prop up against the counter and then help him get back in the mobility scooter once he stops filming.
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He definitely can't even walk around the house. His scootypuff has been in the background of some videos. I'm sure part of the reason they moved was so Jacky could puttputt around better.
 
Falcon Sebben said:
Actually his trap would be much simpler.

Jigsaw puts him in a room with all his favorite foods like pulpork, birria tacos and warm marinara sauce and says all he needs to do in order to go free is not eat any of the food. If he can survive an hour in there without touching any of the bounty he's free to go. Fatty wouldn't last 30 seconds before he's face deep in it like a pig eating slop from a trough.
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I gotta eat SOMETHING, MOM
 
Doctor of Autism said:
It can be even simpler, he has to eat all vegan food and vegetables, only super healthy stuff.
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He'd rather die.

My version is better because it's an actual torture for him not to eat juicy meats.

Or maybe we combine the two. Put a bunch of steaks in front of him. All of them look and smell the same but only one is real. The others are lab grown, plant based or whatever. And only by using his superior knowledge of food he has to choose and eat the right steak. Once he's chosen it however he can't go back on his word and has to finish that steak. The only way he gets out is to eat the real steak. But if he does eat the real steak it makes him violently ill afterwards. I mean he needs to be tortured somehow.
 
I am Jack's dead arm said:
He definitely can't even walk around the house. His scootypuff has been in the background of some videos. I'm sure part of the reason they moved was so Jacky could puttputt around better.
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Imagine being an Amazon delivery driver heading upstairs to rest in the Jesus room only to take a wrong turn and walk in on Jack's diaper change.
 
Personally, I don’t believe for a second that he could eat an entire rotisserie chicken in one sitting.

He’s simply not man enough to consume a little bird Without having to take a break “to let things settle.”

Jack talks a big game, but he simply is unable to back it up.

Jack. Prove it! Prove that you can eat an entire chicken in one sitting. If it’s not live-streamed, I won’t beleive it
 

Jacking Off Live "GOD BLESS TX" Jan 20th 2024​


Stream didn't even get started before Jack got dumb.
Second picture is a "best of" after the stream started.

jackTEMP1.png jackTEMP1.png
 
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The stream began today with some brief political spergery about the border situation in Texas that kicks off a predictably boring stream from our favorite one-armed homunculus. Jack is glad that he’s hated online. He tells us that “Success today is measured in hate.” Jack also says that now that he only eats meat, everybody online loves him, so I guess he’s not that successful then?

We talked about using ‘Meat Flour’ in baking and apparently we will be getting a video about it in the future

Jack says that he does “a million things everyday.” He gives marketing, editing and social media as examples. Jack also believes that the NFL rigs games to prevent the righteous winners from claiming victory. He believes he is one of the few people smart enough to see this.

We get a food fantasy from Jack about a huge plate of French fries: it’s topped with melted cheese and bits of bacon, all with a side of barbeque dipping sauce. The wendigo hungers; its mind pulses with the thought of food.

We close with Jack telling us that there is no way the okra went to the homeless because he believes okra to be poison. In Jack's mind giving vegetables to the homeless is tantamount to attempted murder.
 
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