💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
I postulated this question in the Rekieta thread.
Who will last longer on their new diets
a. Jack Scalfani with his Carnivore diet
b. Nick Rekieta with a sober January

Any other lolcows with new years resolutions to add to the list?
 

Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason. He uses some expensive chocolate w/ pepper instead of cheap chocolate and cheap dried pepper. He wonders why his pressured cooked chili is watery (gee I wonder).
 
Food and water have value because we need them. And, if civilization collapses, food and water would be the new currency.
But in a civilized society, we need money because it's the only way to exchange value that can sustain civilization. Without money and economies, say bye to civilization (unless we get to some as-yet imaginary luxury space communism). Things like cryptocurrency and gold and fiat currency have "inherent value" because they have attributes that make them useful as either money or stores of value.

So if economic activity itself has value, then so do things that facilitate it.
Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason.
There's really no reason to use a pressure cooker for chili. It's generally better stewed slowly at a low temperature than blasted into a diarrhea-looking mess (well more of a mess than usual).
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0twnbe-Atcw
Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason. He uses some expensive chocolate w/ pepper instead of cheap chocolate and cheap dried pepper. He wonders why his pressured cooked chili is watery (gee I wonder).
why's this agenda 21 libcuck communistically wishing us "happy holidays?" too scared to say CHRISTMAS?

jack experiencing aphasia while he tries to recall the word "beans" was humorous, as was the idea of a chili recipe calling for a gallon of heinz ketchup and a pound of bacon. Mmm, mmm.
 
To get a colonoscopy you’ve got to stop eating for half a day or something, so that’s not going to happen.
Jack tends to half-ass things, and believes that he can complain to Customer Service hard enough to change reality.

If Jack doesn't have any of the risk factors to preclude Cologuard, this is a lot better screening than trusting him to do bowel prep.

He is exactly the kind of patient to drink some of the prep, ignore the rest, and then come in the next morning and argue with the endoscopy staff that his bowel should be clean, and it's their fault if they can't advance the scope/cancel for inadequate prep.
 
I postulated this question in the Rekieta thread.
Who will last longer on their new diets
a. Jack Scalfani with his Carnivore diet
b. Nick Rekieta with a sober January

Any other lolcows with new years resolutions to add to the list?

Balldo for sure. TamHam was paying good money for Profile by Sanford to autistically make each of their diets, and Jack, for reasons only known to God, gained weight. He's going to fail during first breakfast on January 1st, probably because of his morning coffee. At least Nick probaly will have the willpower to not make his own an Irish coffee.
 
Food and water have value because we need them. And, if civilization collapses, food and water would be the new currency. Along with things like skills, guns, ammo, seeds, tools and whatever else would help us to survive. Gold, silver and other precious metals? Worthless at that point. If it can't feed you, if it can't protect you or if nobody is willing to barter it for something you have nothing.
Your not wrong on a fundamental level, but I'm of the opinion that this is a terrible argument - And its one that this sort of discussion CONSTANTLY falls into, you're not unique in it. At its most basic level, yes, if all of civilization collapses, any trade exclusive good becomes absolutely irrelevant, and currency is just that, a trade exclusive good, whether it be precious metals or printed fiat or digital ledgers.

The problem in these discussions is that any sort of system collapse is treated as an all or nothing - Either civilization is fine, or we're barbarians killing each other over the last can of beans. Which tends to overlook the wide gulf between the two, where wider states fail, but some significant portion of the markets and trade stay in place, often under local powers or warlords, depending on how shit it goes. The reality is that in any grade of collapse where most people can continue to actually labor rather than devolve to subsistence will still have use for something to facilitate trade - And when there's still people running the water treatment plant, growing food, and offering services, you'll want that medium of exchange, as figuring out how many jars of grandma's preserves are worth a patched pair of jeans to someone who has plenty of food from patching clothes but wants the electrician to patch his radio so he can listen to the HAM stations is a nightmare.

The bronze age collapse didn't immediately lead all the locals to regressing into hunter gatherer groups - they regressed into insular city states that slowly poked back out into the wider world. The collapse of various governments and dictatorships over the last century didn't immediately lead to people becoming Heinz Warlords, but it did almost universally lead to the local currency being abandoned in favor of foreign currencies as people still wanted to engage in trade internally, and didn't want all their money to evaporate, see Venezuela.

States may collapse, but economic activity rarely does, and currencies and stores of value are a means to facilitate economic activity, not states and civilizations. Be careful not to conflate the two.
They're afraid to put him under with his multiple strokes, sleep apnea and all that meaning he could die on the table.
Can you imagine being the poor bastard on the other end of this? You go into work expecting a normal day, you stick your hand up a fat mans ass and he dies of bliss. Horrified, you give your report, get interviewed by the authorities, and go home early - give you plenty of time to sort through what just happened. You sit down, and decide to try and focus on something else, bust out a game you've been working through, figuring maybe you'll find a trick to get past that boss.

You boot up Elden Ring, and find a new message written in front of the boss door. You open it, eager for the wisdom to distract you.

It reads: "Try Finger, But Hole"
 
jack experiencing aphasia while he tries to recall the word "beans" was humorous, as was the idea of a chili recipe calling for a gallon of heinz ketchup and a pound of bacon. Mmm, mmm.
One of my favorite basic bitch chili recipes involves lots of V8. It's actually pretty good. It was an office favorite at a place where I worked and I got the recipe.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0twnbe-Atcw
Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason. He uses some expensive chocolate w/ pepper instead of cheap chocolate and cheap dried pepper. He wonders why his pressured cooked chili is watery (gee I wonder).
Can I point out for a second that he says he’s going to use two of the canned chipotle peppers and then “throw out the rest”. This is such an insane idea, not just because it’s incredibly wasteful but because these peppers are really good and can give a lot of flavor to pretty much any Tex/Mex dish. There are about 8-10 of them in the can and they keep well pretty much forever in the fridge.

And he’s putting in FIVE of the chocolate bars??? That much chili just needs one at most. I keep making this mistake where I post a comment halfway through the video but then it gets even worse as it goes on. This is one of the worst things he’s made in a while. It’s literally beer and chocolate soup with beans. Now imagine eating that covered in sour cream and onions. *puke*

Also, he’s wearing his phone on a lanyard around his neck now? LOL
 
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Pro tip, if your chili is a bit watery, add some corn masa.
Also use that corn masa to make some homemade tortillas to eat with the chili.
Also just use cocoa powder and not a chocolate bar.

You can make chili in the instant pot (I have) you just have to be smart about liquid you're putting in.
 
Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason.
Easy, because it's another gadget he's wasted money on and at 3:55 he explains how his favorite thing is just dumping shit into a pot and having food come out. He seriously likely has no idea wtf the difference is between a pressure cooker and a crock pot at this point, all he's concerned with is whatever slop he can toss together to eat more meat.

Although the what is that, 2 cups of tomato sauce instead of just using tomato paste? Is kind of amazing, And then he wonders why it's basically soup...

And then telling people at 6:50 you need to wear a glove as he flops his "good" hand around on top of the cooker, might as well be using his dead hand. Fatty, pro tip: considering you just need to bump the valve, humans with working hands can use these things called "tools". Do you think Fatty had to have Tammy put the glove on for him? Or maybe he's only got his hand halfway in and that's why it's flopping so weird.
 
Is that the cologard sample or Jack’s latest chili?

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This video is old. As you can see they still have the Thanksgiving Lego Centerpiece thing that Tammy built out. She doesn’t keep decorations up past 6pm on the day of the holiday usually.

This video had everything for me. So funny.

  • Ketchup AND an entire can of Chipotle peppers
  • Cannot pronounce Adobo sauce and calls it Adobe
  • Not 1, but three bars of chocolate (he doesn’t even bother to crush them up or chop them)
  • He’s wearing the redneck life alert (his phone on a lanyard) since he’s clearly a fall risk/burden on his family.
  • Holy shit, the bacon booger returns! He’s actually cooking?!!
  • Speaking of the bacon, Jesus fucking Christ, why so much AND WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO TO IT.
  • Dog lapping up water for like 5 minutes of the video
  • How old is the brisket this time, Jack?
  • Shock top beer, why? Use a stout or just don’t put in beer at all.
  • Smoke alarm goes off at end of video LOL

*chefs kiss*
 
Only Jack Scalfani could make a sadder chili than Amberlynn Reid (whose "fifty types of Mrs Dash" chilis always turn out more like ground chicken soups due to how runny they are). There isn't fourteen month old brisket in this one, so there's that, I guess.

Definitely way too much chocolate. I would've added a teaspoon at most of dutch process cocoa powder (or if I had to, a quarter of one bar) and go from there, but I also wouldn't use a pressure cooker for chili since the slow cooking is what really helps a chili's flavors mingle and bloom so well. It's one of those meals where the wait is worth it. Jack just wants spoonfuls of meat in his face now.

Shock top beer, why? Use a stout or just don’t put in beer at all.

Shock Top feels like something Jack Jr would drink. Probably the only beer in the fridge. Jack Sr loves adding any shitty beer he can get his dead hands on to things like chili and garbage stew when he isn't swigging Jack Daniels out of Tammy's sight because it has Jack in the name. Jack loves his concepts. I'm surprised he hasn't tried beer battering more things with Mommywife's help.

Like the chocolate, two bottles is excessive. Jack has a habit of doubling or even quadrupling random ingredients without thinking of why flavor profiles exist and how they're formed. He only thinks "Cheese gud! Need five pounds now!" His helpers don't know how to cook either, so if Jack wants three chocolate bars from the start? Yeah, sure, why not?
 
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https://youtube.com/watch?v=0twnbe-Atcw
Yet another chili. He uses 100% precooked ingredients but still uses a pressure cooker for some reason. He uses some expensive chocolate w/ pepper instead of cheap chocolate and cheap dried pepper. He wonders why his pressured cooked chili is watery (gee I wonder).
He legit is incapable of understanding that the lid still prevents the sauce from reducing even via pressure, because it provides a barrier and nucleation point for the vapor to recondense once energy levels lower. It cannot be stated enough that your chili should not have the appearance of Chef Boyardee sauces, but Jack never gives a shit about that since the "all day lazy recipe" is one he wants now now now. His mentally retarded obsession with blending the sour cream and cheese into the chili does not help with the comparison, since it makes it look worse than anything you can get in a can.

And this is before you factor in the stupid amounts of normal chocolate this stroked out faggot poured into this shitshow. Ketchup also is not a good choice, simply because of how much sugar it tacks onto the final product as well. Doubly so with that chocolate.
 
And this is before you factor in the stupid amounts of normal chocolate this stroked out faggot poured into this shitshow. Ketchup also is not a good choice, simply because of how much sugar it tacks onto the final product as well. Doubly so with that chocolate.
I honestly think he’s going hard in the paint eating up all the SHUGAR and carbs he can before he starts larping the Carnivore Diet. These last few weeks with the desserts he was making seemed excessive and I don’t believe him for one second when he said he didn’t eat them.
 
I honestly think he’s going hard in the paint eating up all the SHUGAR and carbs he can before he starts larping the Carnivore Diet. These last few weeks with the desserts he was making seemed excessive and I don’t believe him for one second when he said he didn’t eat them.
With the amount of food Fatty claims to not eat, plus absolutely being a good church-going christian, clearly there could not possibly be anyone going hungry in Hendersonville, TN.
Shock top beer, why? Use a stout or just don’t put in beer at all.
Because it's what he could pronounce. In the past he's frequently used lagunitas, but sure as hell couldn't ask for La Gween Tas and get wtf he asked for.

I know someone mentioned first breakfast on the 1st earlier, but I give it 2nd breakfast on the first for when he fucks up his "carnivore" diet. Shouldn't count a cooking video he makes before and just takes weeks to release, but I suspect his first video is going to fuck up his diet.
 
T-minus only a couple days until we have lift off on the Carnivore Diet.

Looking forward to the numerous ways he fucks this thing up right out of the gate with sugary sauces, bites of bread, etc.

This is dangerous territory Jagoff is entering into. Stroke #6 or whatever is looming ...
 
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