💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
Screenshot 2023-12-28 at 7.59.13 PM.png


:thinking:

What's so humbling about a screening test for colon cancer? I guess it would be humbling to realize that your wife has to handle and collect your shit to send to the lab because you can't.
 
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:thinking:

What's so humbling about a screening test for colon cancer? I guess it would be humbling to realize that your wife has to handle and collect your shit to send to the lab because you can't.
She already changes his diapers, so what difference would it be. I can’t wait until he reeees about insurance covering this. I seem to recall a story that Cologuard specifically had issues. Either someone was hit with an unexpected bill, or insurance not covering additional tests needed after results came back.
 
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:thinking:

What's so humbling about a screening test for colon cancer? I guess it would be humbling to realize that your wife has to handle and collect your shit to send to the lab because you can't.

Why is he pissing away Tammy's money on cancer screening? Jack could have stage four brain cancer and it'd still be more likely he'd die from his heart exploding.
 
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:thinking:

What's so humbling about a screening test for colon cancer? I guess it would be humbling to realize that your wife has to handle and collect your shit to send to the lab because you can't.

Of fucking course this retard orders some bullshit he heard on the radio, instead of getting a real coloscopy. It's amazing how much disdain he has for the medical industry, despite them performing actual miracles at this point to keep him alive.
 
Of fucking course this retard orders some bullshit he heard on the radio, instead of getting a real coloscopy. It's amazing how much disdain he has for the medical industry, despite them performing actual miracles at this point to keep him alive.
Cologuard is not a bad option. Sometimes folks have insurance that covers it and it has been shown to be very good at detecting abnormalities and its a test that actual GI doctors recommend. If it's an option that is available, I think there is nothing wrong with opting for this test because lets face it, a colonoscopy is not a pleasant procedure to go through. The problem is that if something is abnormal on the cologuard the next step is colonoscopy anyway which is why I personally would just do the colonoscopy.

With that said, assuming Jack was given a choice between a colonoscopy and cologuard, I'm sure his personal reason for turning down the colonoscopy was because he thinks its gay or something just like he avoids male dogs because he is worried about accidental canine penile contact during belly rubs.
 
Jack’s probably afraid that he won’t wake up after a colonoscopy procedure, despite sleeping through the majority of his bowel movements.
 
Cologuard is not a bad option. Sometimes folks have insurance that covers it and it has been shown to be very good at detecting abnormalities and its a test that actual GI doctors recommend. If it's an option that is available, I think there is nothing wrong with opting for this test because lets face it, a colonoscopy is not a pleasant procedure to go through. The problem is that if something is abnormal on the cologuard the next step is colonoscopy anyway which is why I personally would just do the colonoscopy.

With that said, assuming Jack was given a choice between a colonoscopy and cologuard, I'm sure his personal reason for turning down the colonoscopy was because he thinks its gay or something just like he avoids male dogs because he is worried about accidental canine penile contact during belly rubs.
He doesn’t want anyone sticking a camera up his ass because Jack is insecure about things going up his ass because he’s a closet fairy.
 
Cologuard is not a bad option. Sometimes folks have insurance that covers it and it has been shown to be very good at detecting abnormalities and its a test that actual GI doctors recommend. If it's an option that is available, I think there is nothing wrong with opting for this test because lets face it, a colonoscopy is not a pleasant procedure to go through. The problem is that if something is abnormal on the cologuard the next step is colonoscopy anyway which is why I personally would just do the colonoscopy.

With that said, assuming Jack was given a choice between a colonoscopy and cologuard, I'm sure his personal reason for turning down the colonoscopy was because he thinks its gay or something just like he avoids male dogs because he is worried about accidental canine penile contact during belly rubs.
Probably afraid he'd get an erection when the Doctor put it up his ass.
 
Jack’s probably afraid that he won’t wake up after a colonoscopy procedure, despite sleeping through the majority of his bowel movements.

Jack can't even understand things as simple as a type of burger in front of him that he himself ordered, his ability to think about abstractions like death would be measured in a negative value if possible. Which I guess is a positive from his perspective, considering where he's going when it happens.
 
Maybe he’s too high risk for anesthesia after all of the shit he’s been through this past year so the doctor told him to shit in a box instead.
 
he said getting his ass played with was "humbling" when he was in stroke rehab too and the nurses had to wipe his ass.
Again, he was appealing to Tammy who would think he’s cheating by having his no no parts touched by anyone but his wife.

These larping southerners are dumb as fuck.


Also, crypto is gay
 
It's preposterous that you're including that as a condition. Literally nothing has any value, then, because even the value of food and water are entirely reliant on similar externalities.
Food and water have value because we need them. And, if civilization collapses, food and water would be the new currency. Along with things like skills, guns, ammo, seeds, tools and whatever else would help us to survive. Gold, silver and other precious metals? Worthless at that point. If it can't feed you, if it can't protect you or if nobody is willing to barter it for something you have nothing.

Most things only have value because we say they do. If I have something that you want and we agree that I sell it to you for $10 then that thing is worth $10. If however I insist that it's worth $500 and you're only willing to spend $10 then guess what? It's not worth $500. My saying it's worth that price is only if somebody else is willing to buy it at that price.

Maybe he’s too high risk for anesthesia after all of the shit he’s been through this past year so the doctor told him to shit in a box instead.
I would not be surprised if this was the thing.

They're afraid to put him under with his multiple strokes, sleep apnea and all that meaning he could die on the table.

Jack found getting his ass played with "pleasantly arousing" but only when a large, black male nurse did it.
And he kept trying to give the nurse a blowjob at the same time. Or he whined that it wasn't fair they weren't giving him a reach-around.
 
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