💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Crex Crex]

She also brought him to the movie theater at least a couple of times and we all know he put down a bucket of popcorn and gallon of soda before the trailers ended.

At least.

 

[Crispy Jakes]

Call me late but the bizarro clown music at the start of Jack on the Go kills me everytime.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

He needs to go with a balanced and healthy diet, not something that will do the reverse effect. Right now he is speedrunning his death.

one good thing for him, this diet will get him closer to see god......right before he sends him straight to hell for being a piece of shit

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Call me late but the bizarro clown music at the start of Jack on the Go kills me everytime.

What really gets my goat is there was a period of time where Jack switched the music to a more normal-sounding, country instrumental. Eventually he switched it back, which means he likes retarded chipmunk music more than normal music.

It’s also well established that Jack unironically listens to children’s music and watches children’s TV shows for entertainment.

 

[Dan tease in fur know]

I'm not a doctor, but I've always heard that large amounts of red meat are something to specifically avoid when you have heart trouble.

its because animal products make the vascular system lose its elasticity. its not a problem if you eat leafy greens like spinach regularly but if its animal products all the time your body is usually stuck in that state. your veins can no longer expand as needed which is deadly to people who already have heart and blood pressure problems.

he is literally going on a diet meant for weight loss that will put him in an at risk state constantly.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

At least.

Oh I'm sure there was some nachos and candy too Also some theatres have free refills on soda and popcorn, so you know fatty was going back for seconds, thirds, and fourths, and probably taking a bucket home.

 

[Stoicism Is For Losers]

its because animal products make the vascular system lose its elasticity. its not a problem if you eat leafy greens like spinach regularly but if its animal products all the time your body is usually stuck in that state. your veins can no longer expand as needed which is deadly to people who already have heart and blood pressure problems.

he is literally going on a diet meant for weight loss that will put him in an at risk state constantly.

How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

Call me late but the bizarro clown music at the start of Jack on the Go kills me everytime.

What really gets my goat is there was a period of time where Jack switched the music to a more normal-sounding, country instrumental. Eventually he switched it back, which means he likes retarded chipmunk music more than normal music.

It’s also well established that Jack unironically listens to children’s music and watches children’s TV shows for entertainment.

I appreciate the evolution of the intro music for Cooking with Jack over time. He went from upbeat alt rock, to like rock-country, to literal bing-bong baby music that if I'm not mistaken actually includes a sound of a toddler giggling.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?

I figure he's good for at least a few more. The wendigo spirit's power over him will only be increased by the carnivore diet.

 

[Shartavius]

How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?

I suspect that he‘s been dead for a while, but is too fucking stupid and oblivious to stop eating long enough to notice. Either that or someone else is serving their time in hell by being made to live in that clown’s body as punishment; like the Violator from Spawn was.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

I suspect that he‘s been dead for a while, but is too fucking stupid and oblivious to stop eating long enough to notice. Either that or someone else is serving their time in hell by being made to live in that clown’s body as punishment; like the Violator from Spawn was.

So there's a non-zero chance that Carnivore January Jack is in fact the spirit of Henry Kissinger, living out the suffering from a terrible diet that he evaded when he sold his soul to live to 100?

 

[Shartavius]

So there's a non-zero chance that Carnivore January Jack is in fact the spirit of Henry Kissinger, living out the suffering from a terrible diet that he evaded when he sold his soul to live to 100?

At the least, it’s more plausible than however the fuck Jack rationalizes perpetuating the burden of his continued existence. I also can’t rule out Kissinger being amongst the thousands of damned souls reincarnated as one of those crunchy farts constantly escaping Jack in the manner of those nose bubbles Mario’s depicted as having whenever he’s asleep.

 

[Super Hans v2]

How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?

Well, so far we have (I might have the order wrong):

1. The one in Vegas
2. The one where he woke up in the middle of the night half numb, freaked out for 20 minutes, then went back to sleep
3. The one where he went to the hospital and went home angy because he had to wait to see a proper doctor
4. The one when he was in California and had that update video
5. The cold brew coffee one
6. The blueberry muffin one

Number 7 might be the one where God says 'Fuck it, I gave you enough warnings' and finally let him die. Kind of like a inverted Jubilee.

 

[AnOminous]

You're right. He'd most likely have to be a victim of a crime.

Someone go murder him. You know, for science.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Someone go murder him. You know, for science.

If we could get his ass in the ocean maybe the Japs would do it.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Been awhile folks, great to be back ... I'm now all caught up.
Wow Jagoff doing the New Years' resolution, all meet gud diet, eh? Everyone knows how exercise goes hand in, well um, hand with a brand new diet:

https://youtu.be/fej5hBWgQao?si=dAnEpmsMY3_pZacT

 

[Whaler]

Less than 10% of people get an autopsy. Those are for when the cause of death is suspicious.

It will be obvious when Jack dies that he died of a stroke and from being a fat piece of shit.

In accordance to Jacks wishes, when he dies they'll put him in a Shake N' Bake bag and throw him in the towns oven. He'll lightly roast over a few hours until his meat is cooked fine in the legs and arms but his body is still raw just the way he likes it, they'll then inject "The Best Embalming Fluid You'll Ever Use" into his body and then bury him with a bunch of lit coals. He'll slow cook for a few months until Jack Jr, now being possessed by the Wendigo, does an unboxing video where he digs up Jacks corpse and starts eating it for Youtube.

 

[Bassomatic]

The only joy jack brings us by living is laughing at his suffering and knowing despite how much a Karen he is to wagies ... His entire family is stuck with the pants pooping stroked out man baby.

He kidnapped his gay son and beard with his hog wife and moved them to Hicksville so he can bully and tantrum them as his own house niggers. Well not that because Jack's afraid of blacks.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

She also brought him to the movie theater at least a couple of times and we all know he put down a bucket of popcorn and gallon of soda before the trailers ended.

It's even worse than that.

They get a drink caddy to carry their massive, but diet, drinks back to the theater. Take their drinks out and Hammy pours the large popcorn with butter flavored grease into the drink caddy so Jagoff can have some. Then she goes back, gets her free refill and she eats that popcorn with butter flavored grease. And then at some point probably go back to get another refill if such a thing is possible.

I mean I like popcorn as much as the next person but there's a limit as to how much I can eat, even when it's ungreased, I can only make it through half the container before I start feeling sick. So how they can both finish a bucket on their own shows how gluttonous they both are.

its because animal products make the vascular system lose its elasticity. its not a problem if you eat leafy greens like spinach regularly but if its animal products all the time your body is usually stuck in that state. your veins can no longer expand as needed which is deadly to people who already have heart and blood pressure problems.

he is literally going on a diet meant for weight loss that will put him in an at risk state constantly.

All these diets are supposed to be short term. You lose wieght. You move your ass more. You get healthier and no longer need the fad diet.

How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?

He's already a mushbrain and it's only been getting worse as time goes on.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

One thing I've noticed over the past few months is that Jagoff isn't rocking the lids like he always has. Any theories on that?