💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[p1138]

He needed his meat. I mean fish is healthy and all that but it's not meat which is what the Wendigo craves.

But he complained about the cost which should have been on the menu and then said he could buy a pound of bacon for that price.

He makes no sense. Like at all and if anything he's gotten worse due to the strokes.

Of course it was on the menu. In fact it has a picture that shows 3 smaller pieces of chashu instead of two. Which means that Fatty who likes menus with pictures so much, doesn't actually pay attention to them other than "oooh, pretty colors" and "meat"

 

[AnOminous]

Holy shit he ordered a lot of food. I mean, I sorta always knew he did, but Ramen is something I eat on the regular, and that stuff is filling.

When I was poor and lived in a big city a long time ago, I was near a Chinatown, and often had to do just one meal a day. Back then $5 would get you a giant bowl of ramen full mainly of what looked like leftovers from other things (because it was different every day) and veggies, but would fill you up and you could take the leftovers home and they'd make a perfectly adequate second meal.

It was one of those places where they didn't even bother putting English on the menu but you could just point to what you wanted.

 

[Rabid Weasels]

The fucking menu says what is on the takoyaki, how all of them (including the waitress) can still get it wrong is...to be expected i guess.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

When I was poor and lived in a big city a long time ago, I was near a Chinatown, and often had to do just one meal a day. Back then $5 would get you a giant bowl of ramen full mainly of what looked like leftovers from other things (because it was different every day) and veggies, but would fill you up and you could take the leftovers home and they'd make a perfectly adequate second meal.

It was one of those places where they didn't even bother putting English on the menu but you could just point to what you wanted.

That sounds pretty good, not gonna lie. Rich broth, noodles, and a bunch of "whatever else" can still be a good soup. Makes me think of that bibimbap dish from Korea, isn't that mostly a leftovers/sides style mix?

 

[AnOminous]

That sounds pretty good, not gonna lie. Rich broth, noodles, and a bunch of "whatever else" can still be a good soup. Makes me think of that bibimbap dish from Korea, isn't that mostly a leftovers/sides style mix?

A lot of strip mall type Chinese have a "house soup" that is literally that, but they charge extra for it, assholes. Bibimbap can be like that, but a lot of places just have a fixed recipe and it's that every time. That's also something I used to eat nearly every day.

 

[densedance]

Bro what

 

[Tiresome]

Bro what
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Object permanence as applied to boomer fear-progaganda: A discussion.

 

[p1138]

Bro what
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Even the vegan meat stuff costs more than normal meat, and the lab grown stuff would cost a fortune and can't be produced any any sort of scale. wtf would anyone be secretly using either?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

A lot of strip mall type Chinese have a "house soup" that is literally that, but they charge extra for it, assholes. Bibimbap can be like that, but a lot of places just have a fixed recipe and it's that every time. That's also something I used to eat nearly every day.

That's always been what "Soup of the day" is. It's often times the leftovers from yesterday that they need to use up and throw it into a soup. It's also why if you go out to eat the "Chef's Special" or "Daily Special" is whatever they got for cheap and need to unload or it's what is going to expire soon so they need to use it up before then.

Bro what
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Or third option... it's not commercially available or cost effective enough for people to serve it.

Why do these people have a binary attitude towards everything. No shades of gray allowed. Only one absolute or the other.

Even the vegan meat stuff costs more than normal meat, and the lab grown stuff would cost a fortune and can't be produced any any sort of scale. wtf would anyone be secretly using either?

Since when do conspiritards make sense?

 

[That Damned Tiger]

Bro what
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What a regard.

 

[Sonic T]

Object permanence as applied to boomer fear-progaganda: A discussion.

You mean [OBJ] permanence

 

[lindsayfan]

this guy can barely talk anymore. gonna be jack-in-the-box any day now.

tammy: "i'm gonna try the callamurray"
jack: "ogey. ib dat kallmaree?"
(camera shakily spirals closer until food is blurry)
"dass but chee tribe, ry dere"

jack petulantly getting his side of pork belly is hilarious. also back in the car he calls the octopus "squid." fucking dummy.

this restaurant looked a lot better than their usual slop. of course it's only a b+ because they didn't serve him a pound of bacon. he'd rather be back at the patriot-prayer gas station sandwich counter where they just stack 18 oz of processed walmart lunchmeat on a slab of bunny bread. who cares if it's all still cold from the refrigerator, meat gud

 

[Gulls on Film]

Bro what
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Ah, so Tammy directs his scooty-puff away from the vegetarian section at supermarkets so she doesn't have to listen to him rant about fake meat anymore.

 

[AnOminous]

this restaurant looked a lot better than their usual slop.

Of course it was still strip-mall Japanese. That's usually a cut above strip-mall chinkslop, but it's hardly high end, and was hardly high priced.

 

[densedance]

Yeah, well I guess.

 

[Bassomatic]

As much as we all love watching Jack flounder/sink in sanity and health this was painful to watch.

It's eerie like one of those videos of a guy still on PCP in an integration room where the cop is explaining "you ripped your dad's lungs out and tried to fuck a Buick" and the guy is too busy worried about his shoe laces.

The difference here it's the Wendigo need of meat and the bag of fat jack is trying to review flavors and nuance is just ruled over by the beasts hunger.

I gave the secret warning signs for Tam Jr she didn't use it... Poor girl Wendigo got her too. Soon she's going to have her own death fat thread.

Jacks hunting.... As an avid hunter and eater of what I kill. I could go past total a log. But I'll spare it the worst burn I could muster... Is nothing next to what he did to that meat.

 

[Pizza Munch]

This is what living with the Scalfatties does to a person.

Maybe I’m giving her too much credit, but I sympathize with Brianna. She not only is surrounded by the scalfanis 24/7, she also had a health scare that required some form of brain surgery. Also growing up not having to worry about what you eat as a teen can catch up to you real quick- something I’m sure many young adults can relate to. Idk she just seems like a sweet girl and never gave cow vibes to me (besides choosing to marry one).

As an aside- Jack showed a brief instance of self awareness in that ramen video.. “..I could have cooked it myself, nah wait not really”

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Maybe I’m giving her too much credit, but I sympathize with Brianna. She not only is surrounded by the scalfanis 24/7, she also had a health scare that required some form of brain surgery. Also growing up not having to worry about what you eat as a teen can catch up to you real quick- something I’m sure many young adults can relate to. Idk she just seems like a sweet girl and never gave cow vibes to me (besides choosing to marry one).

As an aside- Jack showed a brief instance of self awareness in that ramen video.. “..I could have cooked it myself, nah wait not really”

Jack making Ramen would be a nightmare, especially if he insisted on doing the broth properly. Its something like twelve hours at a full boil with the pork bones, to get it right. I've had 2-3 hour broths and they're fucking garbage, not even worth bothering. The only part he'd probably get right is the pork belly, because a very fatty one is a perfectly valid way to make it. Pretty sure that takes a while too though.

knowing jacks impatience, it'd be a complete wreck.

 

[biggacracka]

Jack making Ramen would be a nightmare, especially if he insisted on doing the broth properly. Its something like twelve hours at a full boil with the pork bones, to get it right. I've had 2-3 hour broths and they're fucking garbage, not even worth bothering. The only part he'd probably get right is the pork belly, because a very fatty one is a perfectly valid way to make it. Pretty sure that takes a while too though.

knowing jacks impatience, it'd be a complete wreck.

He'd throw everything at once in a wifi/bluetooth slowcooker he's "reviewing" and undercook everything to hell while still overcooking the ramen noodles themselves and pretend it's "amazing"

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

RAMEN SPERG TIME!
First up: I've never seen spicy edamame before. Most places I know serve it plain with just salt afaik. Almost seems like an americanism

The chashu bun seems like a crossover from chinese cooking. Go google "gua bao". That being said, I don't really consider it to be an abomination, since the chinese version doesnt seem too different? The tonkatsu bun though, on the other hand... that's definitely a bigger divergence from the original

> tendon ramen
Firstly, it feels like the americans just mashed together tendon (which is tempura over rice) and ramen. They could've called it "tempura ramen" instead but it really feels like I'm being a linguistic sperg for nitpicking this. And secondly, just why? the soup will instantly de-crisp the tempura.
> cheese ramen
☪. Unlike the korean implementation of this (where they use spicy/sour broth) which contrasts with the cheese, this feels like it'd be an overly-rich mess.

> kimchi ramen
Definitely feeling the american East-Asia-Amorph-ization here lol. might work though.

> wagyu ramen
someone said they don't trust it. Yeah, I agree.

As for the ramen itself, it looks pretty good. The broth looks a bit pale, but I usually do black/garlic ramen so that might just be my personal expectations talking.

Jack making Ramen would be a nightmare, especially if he insisted on doing the broth properly. Its something like twelve hours at a full boil with the pork bones, to get it right. I've had 2-3 hour broths and they're fucking garbage, not even worth bothering.

I've brewed tonkotsu broth myself, several times before. I hardly do it anymore, since it takes like 12 hours of boiling (and I mean with bubbles forming and shit) pork trotters (Not just bones. You have to have the skin and cartilage for collagen to be extracted into the broth) and and am thus more than happy to outsource it to my local restaurants. It also takes at least 6 hours to get any appreciable amount of collagen.

Why is this PL relevant? Because I know that if you clean the pork (which is to say, simmer it for about 30 minutes to get the blood and stuff out (which I have no doubt jack will skip, whether out of sloth or incompetence)), the broth is a near-white cream-beige colour. So, yeah, it looks pale, as it should be, and I dont hold it against them.

You're a man of good taste for getting black garlic ramen, though.

The only part he'd probably get right is the pork belly, because a very fatty one is a perfectly valid way to make it. Pretty sure that takes a while too though.

It absolutely does. I've done it too, I feel like it takes at least an hour in the slow cooker. That said, I have, at times, felt like doing it with a leaner cut, lest (in the words of the illustrious @AnOminous ) I swell up like chairman Mao