💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Something Awful]

There is also a dramatic reading and roast of this tale done by Jim Florentine, which you can find in this post, that is absolutely worth a listen

That's great. I don't even want to call it a roast, it's simply what goes through a normal person's mind when getting exposed to Fat Rick's bullshit.

Rick's story-that-happened is stupid on so many levels. Yeah, surely this "brotosaurus" who likes to make fun of fat people decided to walk up to some fat faggot with bitch tits to comment on someone else's weight.

 

[Hitlerswag420]

Fatass does a 180 on his dad's PBR claims.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

I know “Terrorist” is the current day short hand for bad person, like heathen, infidel, commie, etc of times gone by, but I really hate misuse like this.

What the fuck would the IRA, ISIS, Da’ ish, the Baader Meinhoff group, ETA, or any other group dedicated to separatist movement or political ideology care about some fat man terrible grades at school?

If he just said “internet pests”, or something that indicates they are just some random people who like to google him for fun, then it wouldn’t be so annoying.

He just wants people to think he's more important than he really is. That's why interviews by the local news only cover his shit early because no one cares enough to watch it. He can claim to have been swatted a thousand times and the national press wont pick it up. Even when mentioned in an article about authors having book "review bombed" he's just a footnote.

Fatass does a 180 on his dad's PBR claims.

View attachment 5462518

"My mother was also a horse trainer" odd way to tell the world your mother was a whore but you do you Patrick.

By the way, you have to train to be a rodeo clown, you can't just volunteer for it. Unless you want to die that is. If I had Patrick as a son I'd choose suicide too.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

I like to imageine that all of Patrick's ancestors were exactly like him throughout different periods of history.

I close my eyes and imagine Patrick's great-great-great grandfather in the seventeen hundreds.

He would spend all his free time sitting by a window waiting for messengers to arrive by horseback, deliving him news that he was a rotund raggabrash. This figue would then take out a quill and respond "Nay, child, find mirth in thy cell, for 'tis thy fate." When he wasnt responding to neerdowells, he would drink in the local tavern and get into arguments with strangers in the town square about the state of the colonies.

Or, that there was another Tomlinson ancestor who spent all day arguing with people via telegraph abut the franco-prussian war.

Im sure if you trace his lineage back far enough you would find a Patrickus Seanicus Tomlonius. A notorius figure in ancient Rome. Who hated Ceaser and bickered with people about the Gauls and Visigoths. "Nay, Plebian. Enjoy the colosseum. You will find yourself fighting lions and gladiators there soon.

Back then debtor's prison was the go-to punishment for people who were negligent on their debts. "Verily, it is you babes who are in the stockades, not myself."

 

[DumbDude43]

delight in the oubliette, scoundrel

 

[Booby Jones]

Fatass does a 180 on his dad's PBR claims.

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Yuck, he's doing that gay fucking love bomb thing dudes do when they drink too much.
Usually I'm not so quick to believe when some cow is labeled as drunkenly tweeting but fat has definitely sipped one too many Cosmos

 

[Something Awful]

Yay, can't wait.



I like how Snackie calls Pat an unassuming man.

 

[Divine right to rule]

Pat tweets so much with so much repetition that you have to choose your battles. Him drunk and watching Star Wars crap is fun, these were tweeted between 2-3am his time. TWO AM.

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He's so drunk that he's nice to his friend, who correctly says this stuff sucks and has moved on:

View attachment 5462215

I am absolutely flabbergasted that there are not only people who are able to enjoy Disney's Star Slop content, there are people who think this absolute trash is good.
What low, manchildish, retarded, tasteless and subhuman tastes and thoughts do you have to have to like this?
Then I remembered: Patrick Tomlinson

 

[RussianParasite]

I am absolutely flabbergasted that there are not only people who are able to enjoy Disney's Star Slop content, there are people who think this absolute trash is good.

I too have a hard time wrapping my head around how anyone, including faggots like Pat, could enjoy any of it. I was bored on a plane and decided to see if the new Star Wars movies were as bad as I had heard, and they were. They are shockingly bad and I’m pretty sure not even children can enjoy it. Not even bad in a funny way like Sharknado, just thoroughly boring and preachy.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

By the way, you have to train to be a rodeo clown, you can't just volunteer for it. Unless you want to die that is. If I had Patrick as a son I'd choose suicide too.

We're talking about different kind of bulls, and Tommy Tomlinson took them on without any training or protection whatsoever. So you're wrong yet again, stakler.

 

[LGHDR+]

Back then debtor's prison was the go-to punishment for people who were negligent on their debts. "Verily, it is you babes who are in the stockades, not myself."

Shit, I should have made this with that medieval meme maker, there was a guy in the stockades. That shit's great!

 

[Pedophobe]

I am absolutely flabbergasted that there are not only people who are able to enjoy Disney's Star Slop content, there are people who think this absolute trash is good.
What low, manchildish, retarded, tasteless and subhuman tastes and thoughts do you have to have to like this?
Then I remembered: Patrick Tomlinson

Maybe he doesn't so much like it as like himself for being cool enough to properly appreciate it.

 

[AnOminous]

Wow, he looks really fat from that angle, not as if he isn't really fat from any other angle, but this just puts how obesely fat he is into perspective.

"I'm not fat by any medical standards," says the fat guy, wallowing in his obesity, while staring at you, fatly, to the point you got fatter just by looking at this fat fuck.

 

[Creative Username]

"I'm not fat by any medical standards," says the fat guy, wallowing in his obesity, while staring at you, fatly, to the point you got fatter just by looking at this fat fuck.

Did you know that Patrick Tomlinson is not only fat, he is:

1. Rotund
2. Obese
3. Round
4. Overweight
5. Wide
6. Flabby
7. Porky
8. Spherical
9. Fat
10. Large

He needs to cut back on the pepperoni and cheap booze.

 

[AnOminous]

Pat lives in a larger city where the police department has hundreds of active duty cops at any time. With a bigger organization comes often worse communication, and they haven't got a good system in place to flag addresses that have already been swatted.

I guarantee they're all aware of what a piece of shit Fatty is.

There is also evidence that Fat has not been so law abiding.

Unless threatening to murder people, including a newly born child, is within the law.

And I absolutely guarantee that they know Fatty is such a psycho that even if all the calls they've received about him being a rapemurder hobo or whatever are bogus, that it's entirely possible this lunatic could in fact end up in a real standoff. They know he's crazy. They're not stupid.

 

[An automatic clown]

Pat still coping about needing a police escort. "it was for their protection, not mine stlalker"

 

[AnOminous]

Pat still coping about needing a police escort. "it was got their protection, not mine stlalker"

He was literally too much of a coward even to look at his critics in person, and pretends his sniveling, quivering cowardice was somehow for their "protection," despite not a single person on the entire planet being afraid of this blob of fat.

Watch how fast his Internet Tough Guy facade dissolves even when faced by a casual glance from an actual human who has the contempt for him anyone normal would have.

"Pleeeeeez PLEEEZ gimme COP PROTECTION!"

While he spews anti-cop rhetoric online all the time whenever a nigger who deserved it gets killed.

 

[Something Awful]

Pat still coping about needing a police escort. "it was got their protection, not mine stlalker"

As if that would make him badass or something even if it were true. Everyone but the absolute lowest-IQ thugs can stop themselves from chimping out in a fucking courthouse, yet Pat is so insecure about his manliness he thinks having no impulse control is something to brag about.

 

[FinnSven]

As if that would make him badass or something even if it were true. Everyone but the absolute lowest-IQ thugs can stop themselves from chimping out in a fucking courthouse, yet Pat is so insecure about his manliness he thinks having no impulse control is something to brag about.

It’s kind of a shame he didn’t do something retarded like manage to give mullens a bloody nose.

Dan Mullens getting to sue Fatrick for damages would be awesome.

I guarantee they're all aware of what a piece of shit Fatty is.

And I absolutely guarantee that they know Fatty is such a psycho that even if all the calls they've received about him being a rapemurder hobo or whatever are bogus, that it's entirely possible this lunatic could in fact end up in a real standoff. They know he's crazy. They're not stupid.

It’s almost certain he is known to the local police and probably has been for years.

I wouldn’t be surprised if there have been regular drunken encounters with police as he stumbled home fatly from the bar.

 

[LGHDR+]

drunken encounters with police as he stumbled home fatly from the bar.

Okay I have to run that through the AI image generator.



It totally understands "stumbled home fatly"

Edit: Getting closer.... Another alternate reality Fatrick. This one appears to have more variety in his pepperoni selection, and rocks a bit of a different hairstyle. Apparently his Rustang isn't as new, but it's much classier-looking (for a Pat alternate).



Edit 2: Oh shit, Hoolie's 2 is right next to DAIR - Drunken Author Intake and Rehabilitation!