💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Fortnite Bear said:
49ers, Cowboys is the prime time NFL game tonight. Did Jack have any sportsball sperging yet? I'd think Jack would have a lot to say since he's a Cowboys fan.
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Is Jack being a Cowboys fan a part of his Good Ol' Country Boy larp, or it just being one of the teams that attracts retards?
 
Super Hans v2 said:
Is Jack being a Cowboys fan a part of his Good Ol' Country Boy larp, or it just being one of the teams that attracts retards?
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The Cowboys are similar the Yankees and the Lakers, where they just have retard fans like Fatty everywhere. Although, I think the reason Jack is a fan of the Cowboys is because LA didn't have a Football team between 1994 and 2017.

The Cowboys are playing against arguably the best team in the league during the most important time on Football Sunday. Cowboys fans hate the 49ers because they beat the Cowboys in the playoffs for multiple years in a row. Tonight, the Cowboys drew a lot of penalties during the first half of the game, so Facebook seething is imminent (if it hasn't happened already).

Edit: I wonder if he's wearing his jersey tonight...

Jakatak1.png Jakatak2.png
 
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p1138 said:
Oh that's easy, FB science, it's amazingly stupid. They go over everything from chemistry, to history, flat earth nonsense, mudfloods, medical nonsense like drinking piss, and on and on. This guy below has a handful of videos covering some of the worst of it
https://youtube.com/watch?v=nXxKEvS5ejY
And then that's not even getting into the history/military/ufo bullshit people, that I'm sure Charles is also fond of like this kind of deranged shit.

Somehow everyone else on the planet is wrong, but some fucking randos on facebook will be correct and worth listening to about everything. I'm actually surprised Fatty hasn't tarded out about the emergency broadcast bullshit yet... as if FEMA couldn't have just triggered it without warning if they were really trying to do some conspiracy thing, or put nano particles in the water supply, or just sprayed them in the air via chemtrails... nope has to be a big show to pretend it's an emergency broadcast test to turn people into zombies.
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Fuck me. I just watched like 3 minutes of that video and I can't take it anymore. The sheer level of pants on head stupidity is painful. It also makes me glad I ditched Zuccbook a long time ago.

Super Hans v2 said:
Is Jack being a Cowboys fan a part of his Good Ol' Country Boy larp, or it just being one of the teams that attracts retards?
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It's about his speed. He's not going to support a California team because they're all Godless Libruls over there and Dallas is in Texas which we all know is 100% a Christian state.

But in the end he doesn't care because he's just imagining the big burly mens like these two totally heterosexual men:

 
Tiresome said:
EVERY choice he makes is fucking retarded. He had to have his 4X jersey printed up with his fucking Twitter handle, instead of a more normal and less pathetic "Scalfani."
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Putting your own name on a jersey always seemed dumb to me. You aren't on the team. Get a blank one if you aren't a fan of a specific player.
Spasticus Autisticus said:
I’m not sure if this makes it better or worse but Jakatak was his radio DJ name.
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Absolutely dumber. Didn't know this part of Fatty lore.
AnOminous said:
Whenever I see "Jakatak" I think of some pervert going into a frenzy and furiously masturbating.
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I'm sure he would if he could during a football game.
Falcon Sebben said:
Fuck me. I just watched like 3 minutes of that video and I can't take it anymore. The sheer level of pants on head stupidity is painful. It also makes me glad I ditched Zuccbook a long time ago.
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Oh yeah, FB became a haven for retarded conspiracy theories, bullshit pseudoscience, and so on because they could have their dumb conversations and keep "them" out with little effort. Not understand the details of modern science and medicine I can understand, but most of these people seem to not have an elementary school level education regarding science and medicine. But that's still not even getting into the fully delusional morons like the nachtwaffen bullshit(Oki's weird stories on youtube covered it in the video about infiltrating a conspiracy cult). Without much effort, so long as you can slap a christian spin on it, Fatty will believe just about anything these days because it'll make him feel smarter and more important that he knows something other people don't.
 
I think Jack is stating the opposite, that God supports Israel and America doesn't.

Which is still wrong, The US is sending a carrier group.

SECOND POST

I think he's trying to get a meal out of ol' Joe Chavez, which is gross. Jack shouldn't try to be a FUCKING SPONGING PARASITE COMMUNIST.
 
Someone made a video showing Jack's decline from 2008. Pretty dark.

I think there needs to be more of such videos, rather than the same tired trope of "haha, pink chicken/party cheese salad" videos being made ad nauseam.

 
Falcon Sebben said:
High in protein and low in fat. If you can get past the "ick" factor it's no different than eating a cow or chicken. Do I want to try bugs? Not really. But if it was turned to powder and didn't have a weird smell / taste I'd be fine with it.
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Land insects are haram, they'll never be able to replace ingredients with bugs without being complately explicit about doing so in this day and age. The shitstorm would be too much, especially in the countries affected by the horse meat scandal (predominantly the UK).

Reluctantly, this is probably gonna be a muslim W for all of us
 
"You will eat the bugs" implicitly implies that the masters will not. It's for the slaves. The Pod Dwellers. The Bughives.

The Masters will still have caviar and filet mignon. You won't. Re-up for disney plus, it's $30 more this month.
 
12GameOvers said:
Speaking of bugs, I wonder if fatty would eat one of those tarantula or grasshopper "snacks" if somebody told him it was the trendy new thing that will give him a ton of fans and money? Maybe make some shit up how they're very healthy for you but the government doesn't want you to know, he's just dumb enough to believe it.
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He believes literally any idiot thing Charles tells him. That's about the only person who could get him to eat a cricket. Sideways first of course.
 
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