💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
roo farmer said:
Are you there God? It's me. Please, oh please let him do that Balogna cake that Dylan did a while ago. I can't find Dylan's video of that cake, but here's a review:


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Here you go:

And yeah, I'd love to see Jack either make this, or that horrendous Spam pie that was also a thing. But knowing him, he'll just take the ones with the most shurgrrs and fat. Likely stuff like Texas sheet cake.

As for Jack's facebook tardery; I guess Fatty forgot that he was supposed to hate Disney because of the gays. I guess going to the shittier of the two parks and memberberries of being there to sit down and eat as others have fun on the rides trumps the fear of bein' made fun of by his social group.

And oh boy, another snoozer where the glutton wants to eat a bunch of chicken and finds an excuse to do so.
 
desudesu said:
Jack's keen to be "filled up" at a "men's conference". He got Mommywife to buy and prepare pulporks and brisket for all the bulls.

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As if his BBQ is going to look anywhere near that decent.
 
Sonic T said:
I hate how he acts like his shit never fucking stinks, meanwhile he's probably not far from waddling around the house in a Depends. Between that and having it soaked in your every being to be a narcissistic cunt, he's going to smell worse than anyone else. Edit: formatting

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Heaven forbid someone make a simple mistake once. Shit happens. At least it’s not something horrible or potentially deadly like constantly making pink chicken for dinner for your entire adult life. People like Jack make me wish that not only was retail hell real, but that it’d be the Karens making employees lives a living hell that go there.

Also his bitmojis are so smug that I always get the compulsion to smack them across the pixelated face. Jack is a pig of the worst kind. The one he used here is tied as the worst with the prayer one.
 
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Burger PL: mushroom, blue cheese, sauteed onions, and hot banana peppers.
SpiceyHuman said:
I root for Garrett specifically becuse it must piss Jack off to no end that his son is doing infinity better off than he is.

Remember when Jack kicked Garrett out he specifically did so expecting him to come groveling back to Jack for forgiveness. Unless Garret comes out as a pedo or fur faggot I really don't care if he ends up being an asshole. I want him to shine as bright as possible just so his dad seethes.
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I imagine most parents would be happy for their kids to do better than they did.
._. said:
You reminded me what it was, it was made from crisco. Hydrogenated plant oil so that its shelf stable at room temperature (I dont know why they made it its awful) and considered one of the worst things for you. Genuinely, after like 2005, they were like 'okay its not fats you need to avoid, its hydrogenated fats'. They use it in cake frosting and baking because its cheaper than butter.
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Crisco has its place in pie crust and biscuits. It’s also useful for frying because it has a high smoke point. But anyone who uses it raw to make frosting is taking the piss. It even says on the container “not for use as a spread.” It’s basically a vegetable substitute for lard, so I suppose it could also be decent for making tortillas. Current formula is trans fat free but idk about historically.
rubytintedchix said:
“I don’t know where they’re getting their seafood but it’s really good”. Full stop. You live in the middle of bumfuck Tennessee. Where do you think it comes from? The back of a Reinhardt Foods, Sysco or US Foods truck would be my guess. Take your pick, fatty.
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All the tuna sushi you’ve ever eaten comes from one supplier, True World Foods. They sell sushi fish of all types. Unless you prepare sushi yourself or go to insanely high end restaurants that source ingredient direct from the fish market, then the fish is TWF product.
toilet_rainbow said:
The clown music parallels with getting more deranged as Jack's brain further turns into mush. Like the soundtrack in a horror movie trailer.

So Jack not only keeps HOPE in a harness 24/7, but also shocks her on the regular? I'm joining @AnOminous . Die Jack, die. The Hope stuff is easily the most repulsive thing about him besides choking out his son.
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I hate shock collars and I think they do very little to train the animal, especially if owners are using them out of sheer sloth like Jack does.
 
ZipDisk said:
They're going to take a convict into their home becuz John Christ. Jack burgled saga soon.
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A poll option needs to be added for Jack meeting his end this way.

And I wonder what the convict did to go to jail, but they still feel safe enough to do this. Can't be for something violent, drugs or drug-adjacent like theft. Skipping out on paying child support or traffic tickets?
 
Super Hans v2 said:
And I wonder what the convict did to go to jail, but they still feel safe enough to do this. Can't be for something violent, drugs or drug-adjacent like theft. Skipping out on paying child support or traffic tickets?
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Maybe they'll sell all Jack's smokers and grills for scrap on the way out. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
 

hoh boy.

Jack somewhere got the idea from the internets that commercial 'Italian seasoning' has only thyme and rosemary.
Dumps half a cup of garlic powder on his veggies
15 years and he still has no conception of what number of portions the recipe is calling for. He fills a giant salad bowl with veggies to put a single layer of veggies on a sheet pan.
No caramelization on the veggies, what's the point.
 
a terminal posture said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=16wXTmZR2W0
hoh boy.

Jack somewhere got the idea from the internets that commercial 'Italian seasoning' has only thyme and rosemary.
Dumps half a cup of garlic powder on his veggies
15 years and he still has no conception of what number of portions the recipe is calling for. He fills a giant salad bowl with veggies to put a single layer of veggies on a sheet pan.
No caramelization on the veggies, what's the point.
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At about 3:48, after he dumps the garlic powder in the veggies, he says "Now go wash your hand." Hand. Not hands. Amazing.
 
"I went to AI, and I had them pick." And then I hope he called YouTube to come out to film it.

Anyone want to take a try at what Junior's saying in the next room? Sounds to me like he's probably trash-talking the 11 year olds he plays online with.
 

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