[2024] Kiwi Farms Physical Newspaper - Possibly the dumbest idea I've ever had, 2023 edition

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Would you subscribe?

  • No, the press is dead.

    Votes: 104 11.6%

  • Monthly paper.

    Votes: 428 47.9%

  • Every other month.

    Votes: 124 13.9%

  • Quarterly.

    Votes: 237 26.5%
  • Total voters
    893
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A few people have mentioned they are worried about their addresses being identified. As said before, you don't need a name, just an address, but I think you can possibly take it even further.
WARNING: THIS MIGHT BE A STUPID IDEA
Set up a separate, "private" entity that handles the mailing. This way there doesn't need to be any accounts/accounting. It could literally just be a guy. All of the orders/addresses go to them and not the Trusted Truants Digest to further obfuscate the information in case of meddling.

Also if any one person is afraid of getting their address leaked, you can order a PO box. I think you'd need a court order to get info on those. Mine cost me around $15/mo
 
I trust jersh with the addresses since he has them from merch runs past and they were perfectly safe there.

I want kiwi news straight to my door and I want it now pls. i'll buy multiple
 
I would say, maybe a quarterly edition would be the best. I feel like monthly may feel a bit anemic for content and won't feel like a true publication. Not to mention it would be quite the undertaking for a small team which would be hard for it not to have some overhead that may cost you money in the long run. Especially with a priced to sell model, unexpected expenses can stack up quick.
If you just run seasonally you can put in the work to make something worth paying for as well as being able to run the individual editions as regular merch and not need a monthly subscription. With the extra time you can really curate good stories and fill the pages up with substance. You could make it in the format of a magazine with plenty of editorials, articles and ads (fake or real) with help from farmers (or cows.)

I think Ralph wouldn't be averse to writing something if given the opportunity. It would be a great recurring segment. Also an advice column with Null.
 
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I would pay whatever I had to for a quarterly zine.

Seconding the Mad Off The Internet name idea.
 
GenociderSyo said:
Even articles simply on null's takes on the internet and where it is going would be interesting. It probly does not even have to be a large newsletter type thing to meet the requirements.
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Still waiting for the big update to Where the Sidewalk Ends. Which might have to become a book instead of a blog post.
 
@Null as an academic writing on free speech on the Internet and in support of EFF, I would also be interested in having a serious section akin to foreign affairs (https://www.foreignaffairs.com/) or war on the rocks (https://warontherocks.com/).

I would also be willing to throw an original article in the mix. My current article idea is an argument about how (1) technocracy in social media sectors has shifted the norms and, essentially, the Overton window to accept radical censorship politics. The other half of my argument is that, ironically, (2) these technocrats are not experts but have been able to bolt on radical policies in social spaces by riding on the innovations of the generation before them.
 
It sounds like an amusing idea, there seem to be a bunch of people that are on board but I dont think any of this is practical or long term viable

You've acknowedged that it needs to probably be a "zine" which regardless of the format of classic pulp newspaper or glossy magazine sheets, who's going to print this? You in your hovel? After one or two issues your printer is going to get hrassed by the troon brigade and stop, or they'll start reading it freak out and stop. Thats not to say that you or anyone should stop pressing forward because some faggot who cut their dick off is butthurt about what you say but its kind of the reality of things at the moment.

Further to that, say you do print it out in your basement on your printer. You have to send it all over the globe. The shipping costs and time to print alone will be a heavy burden. It will turn from a novelty in to a giant pain in the ass in no time.

You have a problem with timing as well. Modern media courtesy of the internet (lower case i) works at lightning speed. When Ralph finally dies in the next 5 months is it worth it to be writing print articles about it that dont go out until a week after he's od'd?

Print news is dying because its no longer a viable means of media it just cant compete with online sources. I think if you wanted to do a quarterly KF magazine as part of your merch run that would be a great idea. It will keep costs contained as its easy to preorder and be more managable from a content standpoint. Have people write articles or opinions (that other folks would want to read anyway) that only appear in the quarterly not on the site.
 
Crux said:
You in your hovel?
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my apartment is nicer than any place i've lived in the us nigger

i've done merch before
i can hide who the printer is by mailing it through 3PLs.
the purpose is to establish business in ND, not make a shitzillion dollars.

did you even read the fucking thread or are you just a faggot?
 
I’m thinking FULL color; sprawling pro-KF propaganda pages “THE FARMS NEEDS YOU”
Running print art competitions (winner gets a silver coin), Q&A section, opinion columns.
Cross words with “nigger” sometimes snuck in. Online (farms adjacent) activities, etc.

It would be glorious, you’ll need to print it on genuine (not the thin toilet paper shit) newsprint, think 48.8 gsm or 52 gsm. Color I’m telling you, bring back proper yellowpapers!

The KiwiFarms Post
The KF Chronicles
Kiwi Times
MATI Recorder

Are a few of the top of my head
 
I definitely think quarterly or every other month is better than monthly, of course we all vote for moar content but it would be a lot to deal with for something not intended to be the bread and butter.

I personally vote for it to include user-submitted content like recipes and winners to contests like funny naming contests or the lolcow of the year. Lolcow of the year edition zine in general sounds amazing. I have 0 clue about libel laws but all those yellow title magazines get along fine and we use more primary sources.

Kiwifarms recipe booklet would make my month.
 
Null said:
my apartment is nicer than any place i've lived in the us nigger

i've done merch before
i can hide who the printer is by mailing it through 3PLs.
the purpose is to establish business in ND, not make a shitzillion dollars.

did you even read the fucking thread or are you just a faggot?
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Just a Faggot and not for nothing at no point did I infer you were into any of this to make money. In fact I think my previous was an opinion on how not to spend excess money. Discussing costs does not directly lead to 'oh you wont make money uwu'

I read the thread or most of it anyway, as others have said establishing a business in ND isnt necessitated on a need to be a print service. You can still run a quarterly or hell even semi annually and be a business.

Its not about just about hiding the printer, the KF material while fact based and often with evidence or legal 'opinion' still resonates as a 'taboo' with a lot of people. My thought is that at some point a printer is going to look at the material their printing and say no, I'm out. So how do you combat that potential? I might be paranoid about that but given the last year or so and the massive amount of work that has gone into keeping the site up, I dont think its unreasonable to be thinking this way.

Yes you have done merch runs before, I dont believe I was negating that fact, but does individual merch runs equate to running a regular print service. Thats why I think a quarterly publication is a better avenue, its not as intensive as a continuous print run , and I believe its more manageable
 
Crux said:
It sounds like an amusing idea, there seem to be a bunch of people that are on board but I dont think any of this is practical or long term viable

You've acknowedged that it needs to probably be a "zine" which regardless of the format of classic pulp newspaper or glossy magazine sheets, who's going to print this? You in your hovel? After one or two issues your printer is going to get hrassed by the troon brigade and stop, or they'll start reading it freak out and stop. Thats not to say that you or anyone should stop pressing forward because some faggot who cut their dick off is butthurt about what you say but its kind of the reality of things at the moment.

Further to that, say you do print it out in your basement on your printer. You have to send it all over the globe. The shipping costs and time to print alone will be a heavy burden. It will turn from a novelty in to a giant pain in the ass in no time.

You have a problem with timing as well. Modern media courtesy of the internet (lower case i) works at lightning speed. When Ralph finally dies in the next 5 months is it worth it to be writing print articles about it that dont go out until a week after he's od'd?

Print news is dying because its no longer a viable means of media it just cant compete with online sources. I think if you wanted to do a quarterly KF magazine as part of your merch run that would be a great idea. It will keep costs contained as its easy to preorder and be more managable from a content standpoint. Have people write articles or opinions (that other folks would want to read anyway) that only appear in the quarterly not on the site.
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Calm down lol
 
It's going to sort of be like those memes about sending shitposts via carrier pigeon or smoke cloud.
Can't wait to see the community art that gets produced.
cover5.png

Crux said:
My thought is that at some point a printer is going to look at the material their printing and say no, I'm out. So how do you combat that potential?
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One autist, one printer and a shit load of staples. That's how the weirdo punk zines always did it.
Adding a layer of obfuscation wouldn't be difficult. Box up the finished product and send it off to a nice Chinese man who cares more about money than the esoteric nonsense contained within or the autistic men in dresses who would be offended by it.
Don't ask questions. Just consume zine and get excited for next zine.
 
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This sounds like a retarded pain in the ass and a massive can of worms.

Fuck it, we ball. I pledge to be a lifetime subscriber.
 
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