Fanfiction Horrors

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umami's milk said:
Huh. That's only around 2.5% of all works tagged Underage. A lot less than I expected.
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Some of these "underage" warnings are horrible adult-on-child stories, some of them are lawfully-tagged High School AUs.

You'd probably get more meaningful results adding up the "shota" tag; that's where the first kind hangs out.

I miss Usenet story codes; they were very straightforward.
 
fishercat said:
Now I want to see the numbers for omegaverse fanfiction.
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It's around 170k for A/B/O. I don't want to look up just 'alpha, omega' because that may lead to irrelevant terms getting lumped in with the total count.

That being said, I don't think AO3 has all the omegaverse derivatives under the same parent tag. So you might have to add up "omegaverse", "Alpha/Omega", "Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics", etc.
I don't feel like doing that.
 
GenociderSyo said:
Is this just a new way of saying BDSM Slave/Master?
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umami's milk said:
Yes. Except imagine that you are Assigned-Slave/Master-At-Birth depending on the kind of genitals you were born with. It's just cuntboyxdominantmale stuff.
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Dude, you're forgetting about "BDSM AUs," where people have normal bodies but are assigned Dom/Sub at birth, or sometimes puberty, and then are oppressed accordingly.

The most differentiating characteristics of Omegaverse are mpreg, heat cycles and dog cocks. Sometimes the omegas have vaginas, sometimes they have a special rectum, but there are always giant dog-type knots on the alphas. People are just constantly oozing slick in the Omegaverse, unless they're ejaculating a pint of semen at a time.

Nobody has ever done the worldbuilding to address the difference in marketing of electrolyte hydration drinks in the Omegaverse, but they should. You'd still have people playing basketball or nursing hangovers, but there'd be a whole market for adults who need to replenish their fluids after the standard marathon sex session, and Gatorade doesn't suit their dignity.

Also you'd have a lot of middle-aged people having affairs and giving themselves rhabdo, I'd think. Iron out the mpreg logistics later; Omegaverse hydration is fascinating.
 
I am genuinely convinced that the people who really started this whole omegaverse movement are closeted furries who don't want to flat-out admit that they want to fuck dogs.
 
fishercat said:
I am genuinely convinced that the people who really started this whole omegaverse movement are closeted furries who don't want to flat-out admit that they want to fuck dogs.
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Today's kids are overwhelmingly choosing werewolf cock over good, old-fashioned sex pollen. Sad!
 
Aunt Carol said:
Dude, you're forgetting about "BDSM AUs," where people have normal bodies but are assigned Dom/Sub at birth, or sometimes puberty, and then are oppressed accordingly.

The most differentiating characteristics of Omegaverse are mpreg, heat cycles and dog cocks. Sometimes the omegas have vaginas, sometimes they have a special rectum, but there are always giant dog-type knots on the alphas. People are just constantly oozing slick in the Omegaverse, unless they're ejaculating a pint of semen at a time.

Nobody has ever done the worldbuilding to address the difference in marketing of electrolyte hydration drinks in the Omegaverse, but they should. You'd still have people playing basketball or nursing hangovers, but there'd be a whole market for adults who need to replenish their fluids after the standard marathon sex session, and Gatorade doesn't suit their dignity.

Also you'd have a lot of middle-aged people having affairs and giving themselves rhabdo, I'd think. Iron out the mpreg logistics later; Omegaverse hydration is fascinating.
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There actually is a fic trying to explain the "science" behind ABO. It involves shoddy genetics and having 75% of a given population gestate, vs 50%, and the "slick" is just the magic uterus. None can explain how it fits up the anus or where the embryo gestates, because hurr science too hard. The "omega" is virtually always the sex slave with no agency, with the alpha being the definition of toxic masculinity. I mean that sincerely. You rarely find a fic with that trope where the alpha legitimately respects the Omega's condition (and I did read such a one, in Elden Ring, with Blaidd, that fits because he's actually a wolf). Otherwise they're the stand in women. Actual female characters universally get shat on or are the fag hags: always supportive with a tissue box nearby, with nary a bad word to say.

BTS has the highest number of ABO fics. Yes, the Kpop band is swarming with them.
 
umami's milk said:
@Chandelier

Every shipper down in Tumblr liked Kreon Week a whole lot, but the Poonch - who ruled over Twitter - did not.
View attachment 5234827
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>"force it into the tags"

Ah yes, nothing's more attractive and shows better "representation" than making something purely out of spite. Something tells me they like the good-boy points more than the concept itself, else it wouldn't have been spiteful.
 
umami's milk said:
It's probably not the head that is so small, but the body that is just so big.
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Not only that, it's female. Those thighs and hips aren't those of a man. Pooners really can't escape female anatomy.
MeemVoyage said:
>"force it into the tags"

Ah yes, nothing's more attractive and shows better "representation" than making something purely out of spite. Something tells me they like the good-boy points more than the concept itself, else it wouldn't have been spiteful.
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What's funny is that the artist of those comics is Francis Xie, a "gay trans man" who acts like a spastic on Twitter. This girl will make a tweet every five minutes on her random thoughts and opinions.

She had a gift fic made for her, which I mean to read and post here, that has Krauser showing up in the military full pooner in 2005 and going on Grindr. It's as ridiculous as you can assume.
 
Chandelier said:
She had a gift fic made for her, which I mean to read and post here, that has Krauser showing up in the military full pooner in 2005 and going on Grindr.
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FYI for everyone in here, Don't Ask Don't Tell was repealed in full in 2011. Then again there's a 50/50 chance that because it's Poonser, it makes it all okay.
 
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Re: The resignations.

Look, if I can't promote the Chop Socky Teriyaki burger in my "The Boys" fic, or the "New King kong sing song ding dong burger" in my Mr. Show fic, WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT?

Re: Omegaverse

I didn't know what this was and was reading a fantastic Avengers fic that read more like a Man on Fire/John Wick type fic. Coulson and Rumlow were killing cartels, it was fantastic.
In the debrief Tony Stark was there, and explained that Howard had created drugs that kept him from being a "Dog."

I thought that was super fucking weird, but kept reading, unfortunately. It is then explained that "Dogs" are employed as military forces because of their heightened resilience and recovery.
I figured, "alright, so they're like Cap lite".

Then Fury summoned Coulson to his office and started yelling at him about dogs. Dogs aren't allowed to have property, dogs don't have rights. Then he bent Coulson over and fucked him.

I was done with the fic at that point.
 
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