💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[breadandcircuses]

Also I'm surprised how nice the house is. I expected a hovel for some reason.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

I love the juxtaposition of Jesus pictures and Nightmare Before ChrChristmas

The number one rule for setting a house for listing photos is to remove all and any religious iconography and personal intrest decor. The potential buyers have a harder time envisioning themselves in the home and first impressions make a huge difference when house hunting. Less is always more when setting.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The number one rule for setting a house for listing photos is to remove all and any religious iconography and person intrest decor. The potential buyers have a harder time envisioning themselves in the home and first impressions make a huge difference when house hunting. Less is always more when setting.

But it's important that they show everybody they're Christian. That's like literally the only thing that matters to them.

 

[Simon]

Hopefully the hospital staff is giving him the fattiest, greasiest food to hasten stroke #5 & death. Rainbows all around, though.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Fuckin' lost it right there.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Sure, fatty doo-doo. Sure.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Whatever they buy next, they are going to get raped on interest compared to what they are paying now. It is part of the reason prices are falling in many markets.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Selling into a declining housing market while mortgage rates are nearing a 15-year high, what could possibly go wrong?

 

[Tiresome]

The Scalfani McMansion is officially for sale.

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Archive courtesy of @Jack of the Lantern II.

An attractive if cookie-cutter burbs-abode. Let's hope the new owners are classier, but that's almost impossible to avoid. Also can't wait to see the new rural shack the Scalfanis are forced to blight after Jack's med bills and Tammy's continuing professional failures. GiveMeBankruptcy.

Edit: Jesus christ, look at those fucking furnishings. New potential buyers immediately know what kind of surface-effect moron fake-Christians they're dealing with, thanks to that utterly idiotic and beyond-kitsch Jesus Helps the Junkie poster, while we personally know the Nightmare Before Christmas shit upstairs is solely because Jack is so utterly infatuated with anything with his own name, like a 5 year old with his first gift-shop license plate placard. Also wipe down your dishwasher, you fucking trogs.

Also: So few books. So very few books.

 

[DiabeticSydePhil]

Jack lived because he can't die until he taste tests the Double Down that just got announced to be returning.

He has unfinished fried chicken bacon business in this world.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Just because it's not Aunt Myrna's abortion, he feels the need to bitch about food that looks better than anything he's ever made.

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That's because they're sick of listening to you moan about your "successful" YouTube career.

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I doubt it'd taste amazeballs, considering it's nursing home food, but biscuits, gravy, and eggs is perfectly fine for most people. In fact, I'd say most of the residents would've been content with that.

I thought for a second the thumbnail looks pretty okay, I wonder where he stole it. Looks like it may be the actual food, though, but of course someone else made it. What a Jackhole. Jack deserves actual prison food from one of the shittier prisons where you get a bologna sandwich for breakfast with green meat and if you talk shit they smack you upside your stupid googly-eyed head a few times.

I would love it if an aide shoved lockup loaf into Jack's food hole.

We have pictures!

Spoiler: The Former Scalfani Set

Spoiler: Exterior / Backyard

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Spoiler: Kitchen / Dining Room

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Spoiler: Living Rooms / Offices

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Spoiler: Bedrooms / Bathrooms

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Why am I unsurprised that they have Bible verses on their walls like every other super religious hypocritical asshole I've known?

Almost $600k for that house is a joke. The market is already dropping. Good luck getting half of that six months from now.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Selling into a declining housing market while mortgage rates are nearing a 15-year high, what could possibly go wrong?

Not like Jack can even use that second story any more.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Jack’s mother-in-law continues to share information regarding their potential move publicly.

 

[Tiresome]

Jack’s mother-in-law continues to share information regarding their potential move publicly.

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Of course it's Tammy's home, I imagine Jack didn't contribute a single dollar to its purchase or upkeep, because all his toobz earnings go to stuffing his fat face.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Almost $600k for that house is a joke. The market is already dropping. Good luck getting half of that six months from now.

Personally, I think putting any words on the wall, Bible verses or not is tacky and basic as fuck. I hate the whole trend.

As for the house, they bought it May 2014 for $284k. Even if they drop the selling price to $400k, they will still make good money off the house. The real question is what is next?

Edit: WTF are they moving to a 13 acre property? If true that would require an insane amount of physical upkeeping or paying someone to do it.

 

[p1138]

Not like Jack can even use that second story any more.

Definitely not. Ignoring fatty's previous nonsense about multiple sets, there's actually plenty of 2-3 bed 1-2 bath single story single family homes under 400k even within hendersonville to grab, assuming they can actually sell the existing place. And selling is going to be an issue since there's plenty of new construction available in the same range they're trying to sell for in addition to other places that have been up for a while.

edit: 13 ACRES? HOLY SHIT LOL, the only way that makes any sense is if Tammy wants to move Fatty out to the middle of nowhere so there's less of a chance of emergency services being able to save his ass when the next stroke hits. Unless they plan on doing the opposite of downsizing the house and moving Jr and his wife in?

 

[rubytintedchix]

Edit: WTF are they moving to a 13 acre property? If true that would require an insane amount of physical upkeeping or paying someone to do it.

They need a plot of land that large to bury Jack’s corpse. Tammy should probably start calling around now before inground pool installation season really steps off to secure the labor and lock in the price for the back hoe.

 

[Tiresome]

I'll give them 150k, or 200 if they get on their knees and hail the God of the Belly before signing the papers.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Of course it's Tammy's home, I imagine Jack didn't contribute a single dollar to its purchase or upkeep, because all his toobz earnings go to stuffing his fat face.

Is only her name on the deed? Hmmm...

Edit: No, it is both of them as listed owners.

 

[biggacracka]

No, it is both of them as listed owners

I bet he insisted on being on the deed "in case you (Tammy) die before me"

 

[AnOminous]

Of course it's Tammy's home, I imagine Jack didn't contribute a single dollar to its purchase or upkeep, because all his toobz earnings go to stuffing his fat face.

She has to know Jack hates having his shameful history broadcast to the public because you know he has to have thrown an angy fit about it in the past. She's doing it and pointing out it's TAMMY'S house because she has had it with Jagoff's shit.

I bet he insisted on being on the deed "in case you (Tammy) die before me"

That makes it even funnier his m-i-l is calling it "Tammy's house."