The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 103 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 279 12.1%

  • Penis

    Votes: 417 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 300 13.0%

  • Boner

    Votes: 300 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 684 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 716 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 266 11.5%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 205 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,149 49.8%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 669 29.0%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 313 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,306
Featured on Mar 1, 2023 by Burning Fanatic: In its death throes, the Tranch has been ransacked by squatters.
🚨 NEW SQUATTER ALERT 🚨
Apparently according to Bonnie there’s a NEW party of squatters on the tranch. Penny claims to not be involved. How they can stand to be in the house of amhole stench and cat piss, I don’t know.
879205AC-8C56-435F-BCBD-1403DBBCF629.jpeg
Post I missed yesterday in which Bonnie references us. [A]
26F58B4C-920F-4465-9DC5-BF69B1C0BB11.png

Mod Edit:
Who were these squatters? Sovereign citizens? Opportunistic transphobes? The alpaca uprising?
The answer may (or may not at all) shock you!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Humbert Humbert said:
🚨 NEW SQUATTER ALERT 🚨
Apparently according to Bonnie there’s a NEW party of squatters on the tranch. Penny claims to not be involved. How they can stand to be in the house of amhole stench and cat piss, I don’t know.
View attachment 4653694
Post I missed yesterday in which Bonnie references us. [A]
View attachment 4653691
Click to expand...
What a twist! :story: I really wasn't expecting something like this.
[archive]
1.png
There is a new party of squatters on the ranch property right now
Penny insists on not being involved
We have no idea of their political alignment or motivation
At least with TUR there was a loose arrangement
The authorities are currently working on this matter

The current theory is sovereign citizens taking advantage of the situation
As per usual the Custer County Sheriff's department is useless (I did not call them on TUR) and we need to acquire the appropriate documentation to get them removed, should be handled tomorrow
Click to expand...
I very strongly doubt that some random squatters / sovereign citizens have occupied the Tranch out of nowhere. Someone's lying, whether that's Bonnie or Penny... I'm not sure. Gayops afoot, maybe? 🤔 The Tranch is out in rural Colorado, for God's sake! And it was occupied by heavily-armed troons up until a few weeks ago!

Alternatively, maybe this is revenge from Fedposter J or one of the field troons (like the currently MIA @TransgirlTac). I could see them being pissed off and telling some of their Denver Antifa friends that the Tranch is fair game for squatting. Bonnie's shown that he's too much of a coward to confront anyone, after all.
We'll have to wait and see, I guess! :popcorn:
 
Last edited:
Temperance XIV said:
What a twist! :story: I really wasn't expecting something like this.
[archive]
View attachment 4653805

I very strongly doubt that some random squatters / sovereign citizens have occupied the Tranch out of nowhere. Someone's lying, whether that's Bonnie or Penny... I'm not sure. Gayops afoot, maybe? 🤔 The Tranch is out in rural Colorado, for God's sake! And it was occupied by heavily-armed troons up until a few weeks ago!

Alternatively, maybe this is revenge from Fedposter J or one of the field troons (like the currently MIA @TransgirlTac). I could see them being pissed off and telling some of their Denver Antifa friends that the Tranch is fair game for squatting. Bonnie's shown that he's too much of a coward to confront anyone, after all.
We'll have to wait and see, I guess! :popcorn:
Click to expand...
Maybe we’ll get Waco after all. I was assuming that it was probably related to the previous residents, considering it’s in the middle of nowhere, relatively unknown about, and most of all, reeks of cat piss and biohazards (and the ghosts of alpacas running rampant). The last part tells me that only a troon could handle living there, because anybody else would have passed out in the doorway on their way in. Also, thanks for updating the thread with Bonnie’s reply to it!
 
What an amazing twist to this macbethean drama!

TUR Battleon One may finally see some action!!!

Lock and load boys! We got some dirty hippie squatters to wrassel!!!!!
 
Temperance XIV said:
What a twist! :story: I really wasn't expecting something like this.
[archive]
View attachment 4653805

I very strongly doubt that some random squatters / sovereign citizens have occupied the Tranch out of nowhere. Someone's lying, whether that's Bonnie or Penny... I'm not sure. Gayops afoot, maybe? 🤔 The Tranch is out in rural Colorado, for God's sake! And it was occupied by heavily-armed troons up until a few weeks ago!

Alternatively, maybe this is revenge from Fedposter J or one of the field troons (like the currently MIA @TransgirlTac). I could see them being pissed off and telling some of their Denver Antifa friends that the Tranch is fair game for squatting. Bonnie's shown that he's too much of a coward to confront anyone, after all.
We'll have to wait and see, I guess! :popcorn:
Click to expand...

Earl's Militia has seized the land.
 
Temperance XIV said:
What a twist! :story: I really wasn't expecting something like this.
[archive]
View attachment 4653805

I very strongly doubt that some random squatters / sovereign citizens have occupied the Tranch out of nowhere. Someone's lying, whether that's Bonnie or Penny... I'm not sure. Gayops afoot, maybe? 🤔 The Tranch is out in rural Colorado, for God's sake! And it was occupied by heavily-armed troons up until a few weeks ago!

Alternatively, maybe this is revenge from Fedposter J or one of the field troons (like the currently MIA @TransgirlTac). I could see them being pissed off and telling some of their Denver Antifa friends that the Tranch is fair game for squatting. Bonnie's shown that he's too much of a coward to confront anyone, after all.
We'll have to wait and see, I guess! :popcorn:
Click to expand...
Yeah my money's on Jarrod. He was working with some rural Colorado based antifa eco collective or something, they were sending him seeds and gardening supplies and he was doing "trades" with them. He's also a missing piece in the puzzle because he doesn't seem to have moved to Penny's grandparents' homestead and has been very off radar.

My working theory is he got abandoned on the Tranch, pending Bonnie eviction, to look after the remaining animals that weren't taken by the polycule or rehomed (yet to see any evidence or acknowledgement of alpaca or other animals actually being rehomed - Bonnie claims to have been told it was going on but presumably has no idea), couldn't manage to look after those animals even to Tranch standards by himself, called his friends for help and then moved them in.

I can't wait to see how this develops :story:
 
break these cuffs said:
When I saw Toren was headed to Colorado I immediately thought of the Tranch and come to see this post. Please let all the homeless dregs of the Rat King and Stinkditch subforums converge to create a Troonpocalypse.
Click to expand...
This is why half the shit that gets posted here is better than reality TV. I couldn't have dreamt up this recent predicament if I tried. It's only funnier that an absolute dumb-dumb like Paul is responsible for handling the situation.
 
The theory that Fedposter J has been abandoned on the tranch and has, in the absence of anyone to stop him, recruited a bunch of queerio malcontents to his larp and is squatting on Boner's land is by far the most hysterical scenario. So for sheer comedy and happenings potential, I hope it's true. However, what evidence do we actually have, aside from tweets, that there are actually ANY squatters on the ranch at all? They pulled this crap with the Earl attacks before, so it might not be below Fat Paul to try something similar again, to drum up interest in his ongoing attempts at a tranch exposé.
 
AssignedEva said:
Yeah my money's on Jarrod. He was working with some rural Colorado based antifa eco collective or something, they were sending him seeds and gardening supplies and he was doing "trades" with them. He's also a missing piece in the puzzle because he doesn't seem to have moved to Penny's grandparents' homestead and has been very off radar.

My working theory is he got abandoned on the Tranch, pending Bonnie eviction, to look after the remaining animals that weren't taken by the polycule or rehomed (yet to see any evidence or acknowledgement of alpaca or other animals actually being rehomed - Bonnie claims to have been told it was going on but presumably has no idea), couldn't manage to look after those animals even to Tranch standards by himself, called his friends for help and then moved them in.

I can't wait to see how this develops :story:
Click to expand...
This seems like the most likely explanation. If it’s not Jarod and friends then it may be the paramilitary anarchist type troons that Penny was attracting, acting on their own.

Excellent little twist, just when things had gone a bit quiet.

“glad vlad” said:
This is some really unbelievable shit. Do these people have a thread?
Click to expand...

They don’t have a thread, and probably don’t count as traditional lolcows because they’re not personally online. I just threw in a few updates on them here, since it’s similar subject matter.
But as you rightly say, it’s really eye opening to see the factual and sober Denver Post article compared to the fantastical GFM claims and the uncritical reporting of it. I mean the GFM even claims their ranch hand was murdered in cold blood.
Thanks for posting the transcript. $200,000 raised?
F21839FD-9823-453C-A9A8-E9C57FF29D73.jpeg
That was factual at least.
 
Last edited:
Gengar said:
What the fuck is he actually talking about, genuinely? He's talking about it like it's some government or military operation. What a weird LARP.
Click to expand...
I love how the tranch and his days of living there are over, yet he carries on acting like everything involving it is a military operation.
HackerX said:
This is why half the shit that gets posted here is better than reality TV. I couldn't have dreamt up this recent predicament if I tried. It's only funnier that an absolute dumb-dumb like Paul is responsible for handling the situation.
Click to expand...
Honestly, it really is. The entire KGIU is a one big soap opera reality television thing. I will never forget Bonnie running away with Alyssa that fateful night in September of 2021.
Stupid Sexy Flanders said:
TRAN-NY WA-CO, TRAN-NY WA-CO, TRAN-NY WA-CO, let's gooooooooooo
Click to expand...
I hate you, I read that like a cheerleader chant and now it’s gonna be stuck in my head all day.
Reminds me of this old meme
BF9494B9-3BDD-4A17-9377-D7B686044D28.png
 
Gengar said:
What the fuck is he actually talking about, genuinely? He's talking about it like it's some government or military operation. What a weird LARP.

ETA: (https://twitter.com/EntrancingStars/status/1630549584157245442) (Archive)

View attachment 4656046
Click to expand...
The squatters are queer? Jarrod! Jarrod! Jarrod!
HackerX said:
This is why half the shit that gets posted here is better than reality TV. I couldn't have dreamt up this recent predicament if I tried. It's only funnier that an absolute dumb-dumb like Paul is responsible for handling the situation.
Click to expand...
I legitimately peaked a few of my friends by introducing them to this thread and getting them to skim highlights under the guise of "like Real Housewives, but jucier"
 
Humbert Humbert said:
🚨 NEW SQUATTER ALERT 🚨
Apparently according to Bonnie there’s a NEW party of squatters on the tranch. Penny claims to not be involved. How they can stand to be in the house of amhole stench and cat piss, I don’t know.
View attachment 4653694
Post I missed yesterday in which Bonnie references us. [A]
View attachment 4653691
Click to expand...
Housing the homeless is probably the most beneficial the tranch has ever been to the less privileged.
 
If it really is Jarrod holed up in the Tranch, things could get really spicy. Penny was all talk, but Jarrod is fucking crazy and is by far the most likely of the crew to do something rash.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom