💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

I bet the doctors who treated fatass in the hospital had a laugh at his "healthy lifestyle" and keto larping. With his 3 prior strokes Keto is the last type of diet that would have been recommended for him. That is like a heroin junkie telling you he is gonna kick his drug habit by switching over to percocets.

I remember back when the diet was becoming popular. I was reading some snarkblog documenting a MLM mommygirlboss blogger. I forget who it was, this was back in 2014? or so, just that she was from Wisconsin with a bunch of kids and a lot of shade and she was a great cow for the time. Anyway, one of the things she did to promote the new healthy lifestyle was to show herself drinking pints of heavy cream straight cuz keto, amirite? That's exactly how I imagine Jack doing keto, except it was probably those half-gallon ones you can get from Sam's Club.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

Oh lord. Keto, and by extension carnivore. Full of food horrors, from butter in coffee to itscourtneyluna's "carnivore candy" which is little more than burnt butter. I wanna make a thread on them but keep procrastinating After great procrastination, I made the thread. Check it out in Prospering Grounds!

 

[AnOminous]

Yeah but those are the best tomatoes. They're ripe and sweet and bursting with flavor. What Jagoff used was one of those hothouse tomatoes that taste like styrofoam.

True but it's not like Jack can taste anything that isn't grease anyway.

I bet the doctors who treated fatass in the hospital had a laugh at his "healthy lifestyle" and keto larping. With his 3 prior strokes Keto is the last type of diet that would have been recommended for him. That is like a heroin junkie telling you he is gonna kick his drug habit by switching over to percocets.

So are we at the end, jackbros? The fact he isn't even seething is pretty concerning.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Guys it's okay, when the grim reaper comes for Jack, Jack plans on "smart cheating" him.

"Smart cheating" may be my favorite Jack-ism.

 

[AnOminous]

Guys it's okay, when the grim reaper comes for Jack, Jack plans on "smart cheating" him.

"Smart cheating" may be my favorite Jack-ism.

I just like the height of delusion of Jack thinking anything at all he does is smart.

 

[Dave.]

I hope Jack dies.

But I was just going down the rabbit hole

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=M_-HD-dCXgEAh yes that's a good one, in the beginning: "It's one of my favorite cartoons. It always has been. There's so many good cartoons out there..." Jack basically admitting he does nothing but sit around and watch cartoons all day.

Oh yes, the dead, unfunny, YouTube trend of “creating” food from video games/cartoons. Ffs he’s always late to shit

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

True but it's not like Jack can taste anything that isn't grease anyway.

So are we at the end, jackbros? The fact he isn't even seething is pretty concerning.

I think so. A week in an ICU and a month in a TCU doesn't bode well. Though one last video with Jack in full drooling tard mode babbling about Arbys or Subway would be chef's kiss.

 

[TheLazyMan]

Hello Friends, some of y'all young'ins might need the ST:TOS reference explained to them. Join us live TODAY to find out.
Also, Pink Chicken has located "The Genesis Episode", that which spurred her to action against "Pike" Scalfani.
We're gonna watch it together for the first time LIVE!
woooo!

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

I think so. A week in an ICU and a month in a TCU doesn't bode well. Though one last video with Jack in full drooling tard mode babbling about Arbys or Subway would be chef's kiss.

Or them DDing Wendy's and TamHam chucks it straight into a blender and into his feeding tube.

Gud.

 

[Captain Ahab]

Before you write Jack off, Jay Masters of the Delray Misfits spent a month in a coma and managed to survive. He’s back to lifting heavy at the gym. He’s an obese man in his 50’s who abused steroids for decades. He was out of breath just from sitting.

Where there is a will to consume, life finds a way.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I bet the doctors who treated fatass in the hospital had a laugh at his "healthy lifestyle" and keto larping. With his 3 prior strokes Keto is the last type of diet that would have been recommended for him.

The poor inpatient dietician, though. Asking about Jack's previous diet, and then asking clarifying questions to gauge Jack's understanding of his previous diet. Were you checking your urine for keton--oh, "dirty" keto? Can you tell me more about that?

I guarantee Jack's medical record is full of verbatim quotes. (At least, if Jack's still able to speak.)

 

[VenomPlug]

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[biggacracka]

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Is that a jab at hospital workers or at Jim Traynor?
Or both?

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

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Bitter and petulant all the way to the drooling, pants-shitting, bedbound end.

 

[Super Hans v2]

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Fuck it. I'm joining @AnOminous on the Jack Better Die train. Faggot has literally nobody on the planet he could lecture to about health to after having a half dozen strokes, multiple heart attacks, diabetes, and general mongoloidism purely out of life choices.

 

[Generic Retard]

What about eating 12,000+ mg of sodium laden turkey wings?

EDIT:

WE HAVE NEWS. View attachment 4544942

Utter and avoidable lunacy. Just do as every geriatric person and eat the damn bugs pills Jack.
I have heard of no one having a second stroke after getting dialed in with blood thinners and blood pressure medication...
Okay, you may bleed to death if you get a knock on your head, but I would rather be dead than a potato.

Johns Hopkins University states that a typical hospital stay for strokes is roughly 5-7 days. Jack is spending a goddamn month.

Maybe the stroke was hemorrhagic this time? If there is no lasting damage, they just need to remove the thrombus and dial in medication.
If there was lasting damage... who knows. Maybe he just missed the time window for stroke treatment. It wouldn't be Jack without some bullshit.

 

[Midnight Energy Drink]

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You wish you could get up from your bed and join him.

But I must say overall optimistic message: it shows Jack in heaven.

 

[AnOminous]

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I see he's got back enough energy to be a pissy little bitch again.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

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Had a leg injury a few years and had to spend a few months in a rehab/nursing facility mine had a Bari Hall which isn't the norm. Those fatties are the worst when it comes to the call lights, you'd swear they were trying to learn morse code.

Also, a lot of aides and nurses ironically do smoke I don't care if someone smokes but you'd think seeing people on Oxygen and some with COPD would be motivation to quit. Well, they get regular smoke breaks, and the fatties will throw fits if they see them outside smoking instead of answering their 12th call in the last hour.