💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[TestTubePuppy]

Read between the lines... "Not sure when I'll be back to filming," + "I plan to be in the rehab facility for a month." = His YouTube career is probably finished. If he got out of rehab in a month, he'd be back to making videos again if he was OK. He plans to be there for a month because that is the limit of what his insurance will pay for at this point. Jack can't appear on camera because half his face doesn't work now and he drools constantly. The posts are being written for him because he's lost the use of both arms and hands. He's wheelchair bound and slurring his speech for the rest of his days I bet. They'll be wheeling him around with a Jesus saves baseball cap on at the park while he pees himself next.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

They tried to make me go to rehab,
But I said: "MMNMNMOOMOMOMHJJKMGMLFKLKMJLMLD"

 

[Super Hans v2]

The comedy option: Jack develops Foreign Accent Syndrome and now speaks with a "third-world accent". Extremely unlikely, but as Jack is fond of reminding us, #GodLaughs.

Pentacostals like Jack are all into that shit. He could pass off his slurring as some obscure tonal language from the 4th century and become the new lead murder-rapist preacher at his church.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

... we might end up with a silo-shaped Jack rather than a beach ball for the first time in a while ever.

 

[Flesh Ribbons]

On the diet he is most likely on, he will definitely be losing some of that weight. Especially true the longer this goes on.

I wonder how bad he is going to look once he gets out of the hospital?

 

[Pig Cups]

Way to roll a gutterball on your marriage, Hammy.

You earned a for the bowling reference. Jack and Tammy participated in a bowling league at one point, which blessed us with this infamous picture of Jack giving off BTK vibes. Gutterball indeed…

EDIT:

WE HAVE NEWS. View attachment 4544942

No way he wrote this. Jack is probably unable to talk to use speech-to-text, so that’s why Tammy is writing all his posts for him.

The correct punctuation in that penultimate sentence really gives it away:“Thank you for your love, support, and prayers.” Way too manicured for an inarticulate boob like Jack.

Hammy, if you’re trying to sound like your husband as you continue this Jeff Dunham routine…it just ain’t working, sweetheart. Want to sound like Jack? Try writing as if your mother downed a 750 of cheap drugstore vodka every day that she was pregnant with you.

I think Jack is in one of two places.

NHC Healthcare or American House Hendersonville.

Why these two? I searched Hendersonville TN Nursing and the key Bariatric and these two came up.

I think more than likely he's in the NHC Healthcare. Why? American House promotes things like having a library and Courtyard on their website while NHC Healthcare promotes having Cable TV in their rooms, oh and religious services so its Christian and obviously the cheaper option. No way Tammy or his insurance is paying more than they have too.

From their website:

>Stroke is mentioned first
>Food just might be gud

 

[bile demon]

What about eating 12,000+ mg of sodium laden turkey wings?

EDIT:

WE HAVE NEWS. View attachment 4544942

Sounds grim. Time to pour one out for Jack.

 

[densedance]

No fucking way this text was written by Jack.

 

[desudesu]

I think Jack is in one of two places.

NHC Healthcare or American House Hendersonville.

Why these two? I searched Hendersonville TN Nursing and the key Bariatric and these two came up.

I think more than likely he's in the NHC Healthcare. Why? American House promotes things like having a library and Courtyard on their website while NHC Healthcare promotes having Cable TV in their rooms, oh and religious services so its Christian and obviously the cheaper option. No way Tammy or his insurance is paying more than they have too.

Nah he's been identified (and confirmed) by some Foodjacks that he is currently warded at Tristar Skyline Medical Center in Nashville. The location was doxxed by Qarolyn Flanders' Facebook post about a Lexus covered in ice and the mention about seeing that "outside an ER".
That said, Tristar Skyline has an "award winning" stroke rehab program - which lends credence to the post Hammy helped write for Jack about being in a "top rated award winning rehab facility".

 

[ZipDisk]

Jack would never pour pan grease down a sink.

He enjoys it as his post cooking beverage reward!

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Nah he's been identified (and confirmed) by some Foodjacks that he is currently warded at Tristar Skyline Medical Center in Nashville. The location was doxxed by Qarolyn Flanders' Facebook post about a Lexus covered in ice and the mention about seeing that "outside an ER".
That said, Tristar Skyline has an "award winning" stroke rehab program - which lends credence to the post Hammy helped write for Jack about being in a "top rated award winning rehab facility".

View attachment 4549285

This also makes the most sense as Tristar is across the street from Music City Diner, which was featured on JOTG twice five years ago and two years ago, as well as Cinco de Mayo, Taziki's and McAlister's. So you just know Jack was stuffing his face after each and every doctor's visit at Tristar, guess that didn't turn out so well!

 

[ZipDisk]

I've said it before, Jack backloaded videos. He'd eat one dinner, and then go off to another. Him sideloading medical appointments with greasy din din just seems... jacklike?

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

I cannot believe we are most likely going to lose my favorite lolcow. I'm not sure how to process this and am not ready to grieve.

 

[Dead Air]

I cannot believe we are most likely going to lose my favorite lolcow. I'm not sure how to process this and am not ready to grieve.

Your username will be even more apt.

 

[Begemot]

Well said. I tend to think this is the reason Jack is so overtly miserable now compared to his younger self (still an asswipe then but he used to joke around and laugh more) . Over the years he has had an exponential growth in hate-watchers and linear decline in genuine fans (retards). The more he has tried to ignore the hadurs the more he realized they are the only ones who give a fuck about him and it probably drives him absolutely bonkers.

Compare his demeanor in his older videos, the ones in the other kitchen, he's acting like he's effectively auditioning for a tv spot, he's tighter and his vocabulary seems to be broader. He mentions his fans and their replies, it's more of an interactive show. In the newer videos, he looks utterly miserable at times.

The August the Duck channel sucks so fucking bad. When I was first getting into Jack I watched a few, and beyond the gratification of watching someone express negative feelings about Jack's cooking, August has nothing to offer whatsoever. No wit, zero cooking knowledge, just saying "ughh, that looks TERRIBLE." Yeah, no shit. And yet he churns these out to the tune of hundreds of thousands of views each, probably making decent coin along the way.

Other channels like Should I Series and Jack Vlogs lend so much creativity and personality to making fun of slugs like Jack, I wish they had half of August's audience.

Jack Vlogs do the hard work of finding the gold of Jack's antics and lightly commenting on it via graphics and sound, it's much better,

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Johns Hopkins University states that a typical hospital stay for strokes is roughly 5-7 days. Jack is spending a goddamn month.

Yeah but that's for somebody who's suffered their first. This is, at least, his third and that's not discounting the heart attack he had. Heart attacks can throw clots which can lead to strokes.

So for him I think half his body is now done. Meaning the right side is going to be all droopy and he won't be able to stand without some kind of help. That's why he's in rehab and it's to relearn how to move about and hopefully regain some of the movement in his right side. After all he threw off rehab the first and second time. Now he's stuck there and they won't let him leave until they're sure he can at least stand.

 

[TestTubePuppy]

I'm hoping they change Jack's "Cooking (sic) With Jack" channel on YouTube into a live streamed web cam... a nice overhead view of Jack laying in bed listening to the dial tone between his ears with a hundred yard stare and spittle draining out the corner of his mouth. Every once in a while we'll be treated to Jack soiling himself and a burly nurse coming in to roll him over and clean him up.

The lazy man's way of life.

 

[captkrisma]

Jack right now, but just add a massive gunt.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Yeah but that's for somebody who's suffered their first. This is, at least, his third and that's not discounting the heart attack he had. Heart attacks can throw clots which can lead to strokes.

So for him I think half his body is now done. Meaning the right side is going to be all droopy and he won't be able to stand without some kind of help. That's why he's in rehab and it's to relearn how to move about and hopefully regain some of the movement in his right side. After all he threw off rehab the first and second time. Now he's stuck there and they won't let him leave until they're sure he can at least stand.

Or the insurance money runs out. Most people don't need 4 strokes to straighten their lives out to at least some extent, so I'm going with he would rather let himself rot than put any real effort in. As long as Tammy keeps him in the grease, there is really no hope and I almost think he would sincerely rather meet the Lord (in Hell) than live in a world where he has to put any effort into anything even slightly challenging. On the bright side for TamTam, gives her lots more free time with Jim Trainor with someone else tardwrangling him.

 

[DURANGO]

What are some of Jack's best videos? I'm talking about where he actually nailed the recipe or did a more than serviceable job.