💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
Staffy said:
Both him and Lizzo are insufferable fatasses. I think they should get together, hell I think Lizzo would be a better pair for Jack, their personal political alignments be damned.
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Lizzo is also a fat, ignorant trash bag, so it's a match made in hell!
 
Slur Generator said:
how can someone so fat has such small tits? Its a crime against nature.
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They're likely not small, she's just so damned fat with the rest of her torso ballooned up around them you can't tell them apart from anything else.
Blobby's Murder Knife said:
Now I wonder if he doesn't think those grease soaked mushrooms were supposed to be part of his new path to healthy living therefore he is an authority now, lol.
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No meat or cheese, therefore "healthy" for fatty.

And yes, it's likely fatty will spend a few weeks being an even more insufferable asshat trying to talk about healthy lifestyles or whatever since he probably doesn't have anything to do other than read magazines and pamphlets at the hospital while his phone his charging.
 
Doctor of Autism said:
Lizzo probably lives a healthier lifestyle compared to Jack. Like a guy who had 4 strokes and at least 1 heart attack shouldn’t lecture anyone on their health
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She certainly gets more physical activity just being a celebrity and going places outside of Tammy-truck and waddle range.
 
I hope Jack has to ride around in a rascal. Could you imagine him trying to "cook " with one arm and maneuvering that thing around his kitchen island?
 
a terminal posture said:
I like kotlety and make them often, but they aren't burgers. Anything advertised as a burger in a restaurant shouldn't have bread filler.
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And yet it's not uncommon for a patty that adds breadcrumbs and binders to be called a burger. Seriously, search engine results more than once can and will happily call such a thing a burger. Much like how an onion burger traditionally is not actually a full patty and is made with onion as filler.

Burger's a pretty flexible term given how many things can be shaped into it, ranging from beef to turkey to salmon to even vegetables IMO.
Falcon Sebben said:
They can be if you're using lower quality ingredients. It's a good way to use low quality beef. Just add some flavorings and maybe some onions and peppers to give it some texture and you're done. It can hide some of the off flavors you get from those. But if you're doing bison of all things you want to taste the meat and nothing else. That's why you bought it in the first place.
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If you bought bison to make burgers then you're a complete fucking retard and I'll laugh at you regardless of the quality due to how dry and lean they are. Bison tacos are fine, since the process in making them favors working with lean meats, meaning bison will work a lot better than they do if made into burgers. Also doesn't help that I'm not really the type to play around with underdone ground meat, and I'd sure as fuck not do so when it's Jack dealing with it.

Jack making effectively meatloaf or mikoyan cutlets isn't the problem IMO. It's not a bad approach to making a burger even, especially if you are dealing with lean meat. His choice to refuse to remove his stupid ring, cross contaminate every thing, waste luxury meat rather than 93-7 ground beef, and then then refusing to cook it to temp despite having raw eggs sure as hell are the problems.
 
EatBeforeYouEat said:
He should let Hammy know this STAT. She rivals this leviathan in terms of being a complete fatass.
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She is, but she has proven she can lose weight if she wants to. Also Gym Trainor. I don't think Jack has been able to get it up in years given all his cardiovascular issues and his longing for cock. She probably just rolled her eyes if she saw the comment and went on about her day unfazed.
 
Simon said:
Lizzo is also a fat, ignorant trash bag, so it's a match made in hell!
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Lizzo is a lolcow herself. Those burrito eating and filming herself on the shitter TikToks are so nasty. But I’ll admit the burrito vids were somehow less cringe inducing than how Jack cooks or eats anything. Still a very very low bar.

Slur Generator said:
how can someone so fat has such small tits? Its a crime against nature.
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Amberlynn Reid is similar. Her tits are the only smallish thing about her (comparatively speaking). Fat distribution in deathfats is weird like that. Jack’s body is more typical male visceral beer gut so I often forget how bad off he looks until he’s in profile or not behind a table.
 
I just realized that we’re probably the only group/collective audience that’s truly excited and invested in a Jack Scalfani return. I doubt much of anyone on YouTube or SM truly gives a shit. Not even that tryhard duck asshole, and he’s making monetized content out of Jackoff.

It’s kind of like how none of Dave Muscato’s SM following is remotely interested in his promised one-man show. The only people who are actually looking forward to it are KF denizens.
 
Pig Cups said:
I just realized that we’re probably the only group/collective audience that’s truly excited and invested in a Jack Scalfani return. I doubt much of anyone on YouTube or SM truly gives a shit. Not even that tryhard duck asshole, and he’s making monetized content out of Jackoff.

It’s kind of like how none of Dave Muscato’s SM following is remotely interested in his promised one-man show. The only people who are actually looking forward to it are KF denizens.
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I find him to be a truly fascinating yet repulsive character and throw in the unintentional comedy of his videos. I just wish I had thought to make money off that fat fuck.
 
Hungry Homeless Handjob said:
Jack is back on Twitter. Presented with no comment:

View attachment 4469892
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Faggot is shaped like a bowling ball with a gimp hand and leg and he thinks he knows what it all about?

Fuck you fatty. Show us the result of your latest health scare.

p1138 said:
They're likely not small, she's just so damned fat with the rest of her torso ballooned up around them you can't tell them apart from anything else.
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She probably has floppy pancake tits. Not all fat chicks have nice racks.
 
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