💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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AnOminous said:
Also "I'm literally a professional comedian." <-- the only funny thing Fatty has ever said!
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I mean, he makes us laugh. But we're laughing at him, not with him. It's like clowns back when circuses were popular. Few laughed with the clowns and freaks, most just laughed at them instead. Does being a performative attraction on social media count as being a comedian? If so, Fatrick has several big funny bones in his body, all being crushed by his weight.

A random thought that just occurred to me: if you put the people reading his amusing attacks on the child(s) on social media (us) and the people reading his low IQ sci-fi on each end of a scale, the former would outweigh the latter by at least 10 demographic Fatricks. Maybe it's time he starts describing himself as a circus freak on the internet.
 
John Andrews Stan said:
This was the sperging set he apologized after, @RCR — it was a political mental breakdown:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DhwFdZx2Fo4
This one is really funny for the non sequiturs about where Pat was born. I legit thought he was going into a whole bit about his birth:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1TeTlCV_Zf0
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disgustedpig.png
 
I understand if people find this hard to believe but from experience as a bartender for a comedy club, Patrick is not  that bad.

You would not believe some of the shit acts that show up for an open mic night.

His pacing is terrible. He has no delivery. The jokes are bad and he isn't connecting really with the audience but it's still better than half the people that will show up to a club, especially if it's a mid to small city. He is a massively overweight Tom Myers.
 
John Andrews Stan said:
This one is really funny for the non sequiturs about where Pat was born. I legit thought he was going into a whole bit about his birth:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=1TeTlCV_Zf0
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WHITE PEOPLE BAD, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY PRIVILEGE. BLACK PEOPLE GOOD. EXTRA PLUS GOOD, EVEN.

PLEASE LAUGH. OR CLAP. I'LL TAKE EITHER, COLLEGE CHILDS.

ALSO, DID I EVER TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THE TIME I THREATENED MY UNBORN DAUGHTER'S LIFE? FUNNY STORY, SEE...
 
I Can Smell My Balls said:
Didn’t he only ever do open mics and competitions, which are both things that you have to sign up for? I’d think a professional comedian would get invited to perform, not have to invite himself.
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That's what a CHILD like you would think. In reality, professional comedians deign to honor an audience when they choose to do so. And then you thank them for blessing you with their presence, child.
JustStopDude said:
His pacing is terrible. He has no delivery. The jokes are bad and he isn't connecting really with the audience but it's still better than half the people that will show up to a club, especially if it's a mid to small city. He is a massively overweight Tom Myers.
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Quit talking shit about the reincarnation of Lenny Bruce, child.
Schwarzwald said:
ALSO, DID I EVER TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THE TIME I THREATENED MY UNBORN DAUGHTER'S LIFE? FUNNY STORY, SEE...
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The only way he could have pulled out of that tailspin is if he'd just wrapped the mic cable around his arm, swung it at a nigger in the audience, and just yelled NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER while continuing to beat the nigger, slap the nigger, break the nigger's face, strangle the nigger, kill the nigger, and just continue to utter the slur while everyone laughed and approved of his violent Klan like racism.

I say this as a professional comedian.
 
A few months ago PFG had a pig-inspired Cormac McCarthy thread that impressed me enough to screen-cap some highlights. Blood Meridian's a helluva book, Pat's a helluva pig and Your Old Pal Howard and others are talented satirists. @Boston Brand might get a kick out of this. 1Plump Meridian.PNG
2Plump Meridian.PNG 3Plump Meridian.PNG 4Plump Meridian.PNG 7Plump Meridian.PNG 6Plump Meridian.PNG
 
Laquisha Guntermensch said:
A few months ago PFG had a pig-inspired Cormac McCarthy thread that impressed me enough to screen-cap some highlights. Blood Meridian's a helluva book, Pat's a helluva pig and Your Old Pal Howard and others are talented satirists. @Boston Brand might get a kick out of this.
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I'm very disappointed by this thread. Nobody says nigger even once.
 
I would use the term "niggeroni" more, but it's not my bit and I don't want to get in a retard slap fight.

Is it creative commons, or should I stick with my own original creation "pedo-roni"? ((tm) please do not steal)

You know, with all of the thousands of dollars KF makes on this thread, we should have some kind of legal advisor? I mean, come on.
 
AnOminous said:
The only way he could have pulled out of that tailspin is if he'd just wrapped the mic cable around his arm, swung it at a nigger in the audience, and just yelled NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER while continuing to beat the nigger, slap the nigger, break the nigger's face, strangle the nigger, kill the nigger, and just continue to utter the slur while everyone laughed and approved of his violent Klan like racism.
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His dick is way too small to break the buck. No need to rub it in.
 
Die Dunkle Maus said:
I would use the term "niggeroni" more, but it's not my bit and I don't want to get in a retard slap fight.

Is it creative commons, or should I stick with my own original creation "pedo-roni"? ((tm) please do not steal)

You know, with all of the thousands of dollars KF makes on this thread, we should have some kind of legal advisor? I mean, come on.
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I issue a non-exclusive license. All participants in this thread can say nigger all they like, as well as any derivatives of this vile racist slur, plus anyone who does will earn the title "based" to go along with their racism. You will not, however, be able to murder children and grind them into niggeroni, as Pat does, because we do not approve of that behavior.
 
That stupid Smokey Bear t-shirt makes me irrationally MATI, it's just so childish. Good stand-up is the exception rather than the rule, pig man has zero charisma and his Trump bad jokes coupled with the awkward forced laughter from his audience is just an exercise in embarrassment.

Fat and unfunny.
 
grey area said:
That stupid Smokey Bear t-shirt makes me irrationally MATI, it's just so childish. Good stand-up is the exception rather than the rule, pig man has zero charisma and his Trump bad jokes coupled with the awkward forced laughter from his audience is just an exercise in embarrassment.

Fat and unfunny.
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Am I out of line here, because when I look at this man, the thought occurs to me that he is possibly obese. In a word, fat.

I'm just wondering am I wrong here? Am I out on a limb?
 
AnOminous said:
Am I out of line here, because when I look at this man, the thought occurs to me that he is possibly obese. In a word, fat.

I'm just wondering am I wrong here? Am I out on a limb?
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Sir, I concur with your diagnosis, and may I add that I would not sleep with him under any circumstances, even if that act would save the world.

LET IT BURN
 
I can't finish Pat's comedy videos, the secondhand embarrassment is absolutely nuclear. He's like Stephen Colbert's deformed Basket Case brother.
 
Ted_Breakfast said:
I can't finish Pat's comedy videos, the secondhand embarrassment is absolutely nuclear. He's like Stephen Colbert's deformed Basket Case brother.
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I could barely finish the 7 minutes; I was uncomfortable after the first 30 seconds or so. I wouldn't have watched more than a minute of this routine if it wasn't FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES ONLY.

He's not the worst... on a scale of 1 to 10, with "10" being peak Carlin and "1" being Sinbad on a bad day, I would put Fatrick at a solid 3.
 
Die Dunkle Maus said:
Sir, I concur with your diagnosis, and may I add that I would not sleep with him under any circumstances, even if that act would save the world.

LET IT BURN
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But is he actually corpulent? Am I just being a jerk? Should I apologize for slandering this man and saying he's flabby? Rotund? Is this man portly? Is he some grotesquely orotund monstrosity comprised only of the foulest of lipids?

Perhaps I should be a nicer person.

Or perhaps I shouldn't.
 
Pats material seems more or less the quality of comedy I’ve come to expect from big names pushed recently.

If his performance was better he’d probably have a heavily astroturfed and widely mocked Netflix show by now.
 
What's great is that Patirck would now have an amazing compendium of material to work with and tons of jokes he could steal even if he didn't use any of the stuff making fun of him. I mean, obviously it wouldn't be funny because he has no sense of humor but the amount of material makes it so you can sort of see a hypothetical slightly funny Rick doing stuff with it. Did he ever indicate why he stopped doing his professional comedy tour? Had he crushed it so completely and better than anyone had ever done that he just wanted to get back to his first love, turning Negro children into pepperoni?
 
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