The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

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Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 103 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 279 12.1%

  • Penis

    Votes: 417 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 300 13.0%

  • Boner

    Votes: 300 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 684 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 716 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 266 11.5%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 205 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,149 49.8%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 669 29.0%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 313 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,306
StinkDitch Alpaca Holocaust.jpg

1. Mass Graves of Emaciated Alpacas
2. Frozen Alpaca Corpses Strew the Wasteland
3. All Life Annihilated into Dust
4. StinkDitches Digging Stinking Ditches
5. Putrefaction of Buried Flesh Liquefies Earth
6. Crying Herds Silenced by Cruel Starvation
 
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I'm a dumb nigger who doesn't want to read nearly 900 pages on this thread. Can someone explain how they turned their property into the Sahara, how it has turned into a cult (separate from the troon cult that is) and why have some abandoned ship.
 
murph said:
I was a bit relieved that they didn't shear the alpacas before winter, but Paul worrying about how the "shearers" don't arrive until June or July is sickening.

If you own only 200 alpacas you should be able to shear them yourselves if you have a dozen "ranchers" on the property and it's a DIY operation. Mother of fuck these troons are goddamned stupid.
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i wonder if they sheared the corpses
 
The Alpacas were huddled in the cattle car. It was cold. The young ones cowered under their mothers who stared ahead blankly. The fathers had a beaten look about them. The wind blew across the forlorn steppe, bringing the promise of more snow. Soon enough a light snapped on and the sound of heavy foot steps surrounded them. The doors were thrown open. In the glaring light there was the shadow of men, at their sides other men in German Shepherd pup play masks.

"ALPACA SCHWINE AUS!" the command was given in a strange tenor that seemed to try and be soprano but failed miserably. The figures in dog masks barked menacingly. Spurred more be fear then desire, the Alpacas charged out of the cattle car onto the barren hellscape surrounded by barbed wire. The only light coming from a solar battery powered spotlight that cast a fitful glare over the encampment. Immediately one of the tallest figures, easily 6 feet tall or more began to roughly examine each of the Alpacas. The children were separated from their parents and moved to the side. All the Males that were not above a certain height were swiftly herded by the dog mask wearers who yelped in sadistic glee, driving them into the center of the compound. For the females, an even more sadistic fate. The hulking figures without masks wearing rictus grins began to roughly examine their vaginas and separate the female Alpacas into two lines.

Whatever criteria the inspectors had was not communicated, but ultimately several of the older female alpacas were separated from the the group to join the rejected males. They were never seen from again, but a baleful light glowed from the kitchen in the hovel beyond the barbed wire. "IST BURRITO TAG" the tallest figure screamed. The dog mask wearers howled with glee. And as suddenly as it began it was over, and those who remained were left huddled in the cold winter, without food and temperatures dropping below freezing. The wind blew across the camp. It carried with it the smell of grass, of freedom, and the charred odor of searing meat. The children did not cry. The females that remained huddled about each other while the males brooded dejectedly.

It was their first day at the Alpacawitz Tranch.
 
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Charred Dinosaur said:
I'm a dumb nigger who doesn't want to read nearly 900 pages on this thread. Can someone explain how they turned their property into the Sahara, how it has turned into a cult (separate from the troon cult that is) and why have some abandoned ship.
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Desertification because they don't know how to manage the Alpacas grazing habits, plus they literally had too many Alpacas in general.
 
MarMar049 said:
Desertification because they don't know how to manage the Alpacas grazing habits, plus they literally had too many Alpacas in general.
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So these retards managed to get a ranch and several hundred livestock but never even bothered to learn that grass takes a while to grow back and that overgrazing exists... Poor things, the alpacas never stood a chance with such autists in charge.

Edit: my connection is freaking out and made me post twice
 
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Whoever these people are, they are going to be sorry when alpaca Ghosts start coming towards them but you know what by then it will be too late
 
50 livestock starving or freezing to death feels like something that should have stopped happening in America when the wild west was tamed.

You have to appreciate the irony that these troons, who feel nothing but hatred for previous generations, have utterly failed at animal husbandry while able to access modern equipment whereas their illiterate ancestors would have easily set up a hamlet that could survive more than 5 days if cut off from the outside.
 
I honestly can't say much else that other Farmers had not already said. My pet cow is a serial pet killer, yet I still cannot conjure the mental image of 50+ dead alpacas. And that's just the alpacas! How long does it take to even starve an alpaca, or spread diseases among them that kill the whole lot, etc?

edit: I know English I swear
 
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I clicked the feature on the front page because I thought "Alpacawitz" was going to turn out to be a fat little autistic man obsessed with Rainbow Brite comic books, or something (am drunk). Instead I'm truly, legitimately horrified. I love some sick shit, as evidenced by the fact that I'm, you know, here. But I've never been able to read this thread because of the nonstop animal abuse. There's a pointless torture farm that starves alpacas to death after they've lived miserable and painful lives - isn't this illegal in America? I hope someone on this site who's outed other animal torturers/crush video cunts gets these transsexuals shut down.
 
Dr. Butt said:
I clicked the feature on the front page because I thought "Alpacawitz" was going to turn out to be a fat little autistic man obsessed with Rainbow Brite comic books, or something (am drunk). Instead I'm truly, legitimately horrified. I love some sick shit, as evidenced by the fact that I'm, you know, here. But I've never been able to read this thread because of the nonstop animal abuse. There's a pointless torture farm that starves alpacas to death after they've lived miserable and painful lives - isn't this illegal in America? I hope someone on this site who's outed other animal torturers/crush video cunts gets these transsexuals shut down.
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Drunk is the best way to approach this this thread unless you want end up with you eyes sewn up, chanting "libera te tutemet ex inferis"
 
It's nice to come back from a brief holiday to find out these dirty trannies killed the fauna of muh people, motherfuckers. If my country wasn't busy putting down communist insurgencies and the threat of a Bolivian invasion, this could have made the news... I'll check if I can slide the news among certain journos who don't care about trannies...

Anyway,

imagen_2022-12-31_015355675.png

Some interesting Alpaca facts.

There are only 3M alpacas in Peru alone... a grown alpaca can produce 2kg of wool per year on average and each kg is sold at around $4 by the farmers in the local area, up to $14 to international markets. The amount of alpaca products in 2021 was US$ 241M, but that includes products already made. In wool alone, in 2020, Peru made $30M, which is the income for 82K farmers, not counting taxes.

So, the question is, what exactly they planned on doing with them?? FYI, you can eat them too.

(I lost two quotes because the board is acting retarded (thanks Supreme Trannie Keffals) and one said that they died in the cold... wth how that happen? Alpacas live in the Andes, where it's VERY COLD. Holy shit, these people would kill a dragon of overheating.)
 
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