🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
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- Joined
- Jan 15, 2017
Not only that but he acted surprised while remarking "this seems like it was written by a well educated, intelligent person" (paraphrase). Which implies that we're all not only evil but also fucking idiots. I'm an idiot myself, but the point still stands. They use us for information all the time for a reason. It's not necessarily because of our intelligence (the mentals kind), but we are good at what we do. Sometimes we want to shitpost about how Amberlynn's life is like Plato's cave because it's funny and accurate to us. That and it gives us something to do as we hope in vain that Amber will be funny again.
My mother has watched a very long running show since it first aired. She doesn't even enjoy watching anymore, but it's been running for near decades at this point and she is in a way scared to jump ship should something juicy finally happen. She is committed to watch until it ends. Even when she forces herself to not watch, she's still reading recaps to know what's going on. This is how I feel with Amberlynn. She is one of the first cows I followed extensively on this site and I am just coasting until her heart finally explodes. Thank y'all for making the wait more bearable.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
Yes, but I wouldn't put it past them to have this meal repeatedly. AL and F/JFoNY:MGF,W seem to have the culinary creativity of a tween. I compare it to the tween goblin that infests my abode, who would force us to have homemade chicken pot pie three times a week because that meal is said goblin's favorite.
notfoodienotbeauty
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2021
To jade,
Roses are red.
Voilets are blue.
I took a massive cow shit
and lost five pounds for you.
-Love, Amberlynn (probably)
Please no boolie, it's the best I can do, but has to be better than Amber's poetry, right?
Roses are red.
Voilets are blue.
I took a massive cow shit
and lost five pounds for you.
-Love, Amberlynn (probably)
Please no boolie, it's the best I can do, but has to be better than Amber's poetry, right?
that blue peach
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
Does anyone else get irrationally angry when she says the word “folks”? I don’t even know why but every time she says it I want to punch my screen.
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
Vlogmas 16.
Can’t wait for this shit to be over.
She’s started a new book, she’s so smart and well read. She’s enjoying this story but she doesn’t know what it’s about. That made me chuckle. Dumbass.
A person sent her a gift but she won’t name them because fuck them, PRESENTS!!
Come on, this person hand made you shit and you won’t read their letter. Fukken rude
Lol she loves cow print. Reminds her of mommy.
I just, I find this so rude that people are sending her gifts and she won’t name them at all. C’mon, use their screen names or something! You don’t have to dox them to give them credit!!
Audacity.
Hold up, is she wearing the same earrings as last time? She made a whole deal about picking them out last time. Is this the same day or is she too lazy to find new earrings on the daily? I think she’s mixing different days in the clips. These vlogmas shots are LIES
Twinkie is just doing learned behavior from her mama when she shoves the other animals out of the way for attention. Can’t hate her for that.
H3H3 is retarded so of course Jade is a fan.
She’s feeling PHYSICALLY HUNGRY TODAY. The fact that she pointed that out means she usually doesn’t let herself get to that point. She wants to add the protein drink as a creamer for a milkshake. She probably doesn’t care how calorie heavy those are.
One day she will come through with that pantry cleaning threat and that terrifies me.
She’s ranting about animals being outside. DONT PUT DOGS OUTSIDE!!!! but Amber….of course a chihuahua is going to be better off inside than a husky. There are different kinds of dogs, dummy.
They went shopping for a gingerbread house kit because they aren’t creative enough to make their own and their double ass sweater cookie set grew boring, even though it was hardly touched. For a bitch so into food, why won’t she get into baking Christmas treats?? Oh, it’s work.
She bought a ton of sprinkles and icing that is just going to go to waste.
Lord is she REALLY still going on about people liking her sweater cookies better than Jade’s?! Shit woman!
Lol she bought a gingerbread house that was already put together because even gluing the pieces together with icing is too hard.
Her cat is cute.
She’s dancing while eating because food is love, food is life. She’s doing that stupid eye roll into the back of her head thing when she takes a bite. Good christ, it’s like she’s having an orgasm with every bite.
The lipedema has caused her to gain a large amount of weight.
They have a notebook where they write their weights in every day?!?! And Jade doesn’t have a feeder fetish? Seeing that number rise has to be vibrating her loins.
I kinda wanna color that big cardboard house.
She literally colored like two things and noped out. Huh?! How short is this attention span?? Oh, her arm hurt so she quit. From coloring.
Wasabi doesn’t like catnip. It’s totally not that you only poured a tiny bit out and Rarity was already in it.
She legit just said ‘anyhoozle’.
K I’m out.
Can’t wait for this shit to be over.
She’s started a new book, she’s so smart and well read. She’s enjoying this story but she doesn’t know what it’s about. That made me chuckle. Dumbass.
A person sent her a gift but she won’t name them because fuck them, PRESENTS!!
Come on, this person hand made you shit and you won’t read their letter. Fukken rude
Lol she loves cow print. Reminds her of mommy.
I just, I find this so rude that people are sending her gifts and she won’t name them at all. C’mon, use their screen names or something! You don’t have to dox them to give them credit!!
Audacity.
Hold up, is she wearing the same earrings as last time? She made a whole deal about picking them out last time. Is this the same day or is she too lazy to find new earrings on the daily? I think she’s mixing different days in the clips. These vlogmas shots are LIES
Twinkie is just doing learned behavior from her mama when she shoves the other animals out of the way for attention. Can’t hate her for that.
H3H3 is retarded so of course Jade is a fan.
She’s feeling PHYSICALLY HUNGRY TODAY. The fact that she pointed that out means she usually doesn’t let herself get to that point. She wants to add the protein drink as a creamer for a milkshake. She probably doesn’t care how calorie heavy those are.
One day she will come through with that pantry cleaning threat and that terrifies me.
She’s ranting about animals being outside. DONT PUT DOGS OUTSIDE!!!! but Amber….of course a chihuahua is going to be better off inside than a husky. There are different kinds of dogs, dummy.
They went shopping for a gingerbread house kit because they aren’t creative enough to make their own and their double ass sweater cookie set grew boring, even though it was hardly touched. For a bitch so into food, why won’t she get into baking Christmas treats?? Oh, it’s work.
She bought a ton of sprinkles and icing that is just going to go to waste.
Lord is she REALLY still going on about people liking her sweater cookies better than Jade’s?! Shit woman!
Lol she bought a gingerbread house that was already put together because even gluing the pieces together with icing is too hard.
Her cat is cute.
She’s dancing while eating because food is love, food is life. She’s doing that stupid eye roll into the back of her head thing when she takes a bite. Good christ, it’s like she’s having an orgasm with every bite.
The lipedema has caused her to gain a large amount of weight.
They have a notebook where they write their weights in every day?!?! And Jade doesn’t have a feeder fetish? Seeing that number rise has to be vibrating her loins.
I kinda wanna color that big cardboard house.
She literally colored like two things and noped out. Huh?! How short is this attention span?? Oh, her arm hurt so she quit. From coloring.
Wasabi doesn’t like catnip. It’s totally not that you only poured a tiny bit out and Rarity was already in it.
She legit just said ‘anyhoozle’.
K I’m out.
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2019
This is the real Amber. It's just sad really.
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2021
Not surprised her arm hurt from coloring. Imagine duct taping a 20 pound ham to your arm and then trying to move a crayon.
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2019
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2021
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
Fat Amber still hasn't got that house colored in yet?
Becky would have had it done in an afternoon.
Becky would have had it done in an afternoon.
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2019
I'm only here because it's one of the only places I can be a complete bitch to someone for no reason. Her giving me reasons is just icing on the cake
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Things Hambutt says that make me want to punch the screen:
* Calling any, and everything, "she." KNOCK. IT. THE. FUCK. OFF.
* Bayybe-uhh!
* Babe? Babe? Babe!
* Baby! Bay-bee-uhh!
* Fah-leen/muh gir-frien/wifey
* Sooooo, I...
* You need to/have to RUHHLIZZE that...
* I...prrrromisse youu...that ________from McDonald's is fire!
Loathing Fear
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2022
"Hongry" from her strikes a nerve.
notfoodienotbeauty
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2021
-Exspecially
-pitcher frames
-9 out of 10 doctors
-moment
-anything she says to try and convince us they have actually had sex.
God damn, nermind, forget the list. Just one punch to her face is all I want for Christmas.
beanbag in a hurry
Got sick of the ALR pic, look at this cat instead.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2019
Don't forget the relentless cackling.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
I don't even think it's a record for this YEAR. Didn't she gain over 30 lbs in a month WHILE ON OZEMPIC when she twisted her ankle this past summer?
Especially dumb as there is nothing virtuous about being in active addiction AT ALL, and especially with no meaningful actions for recovery. That puts you somewhere on a spectrum between between a pitiful individual squandering their life, and a blight on society (like individuals such as Andy Dick). The constantly exploiting it while constantly shaming her audience for feeling uncomfortable with that keeps nudging her closer and closer to the Andy Dick side.
That was really cringe and gross. "Highly intelligent and highly educated" MY ASS. That's many of youse-guys here, but I'm just a pleb with a library card and access to Google. I read it, I didn't DISCOVER this shit. I had interpreted that whole part as something along the lines of "FINALLY! Something on Kiwi Farms that I can MAKE MONEY off of without YouTube slapping my pee-pee and demonitizing me".
Oh my GAH, that's SO #gorlfriendgoals!
One time we were visiting friends who had, as Diet Coke 4 Life would call it, a slightly larger than average goblin infestation. They had also recently purchased a new appliance and still had the box. We made a playhouse out of it, using brown craft paper and various colours of construction paper to cover it in pretend bricks and a pretend wooden door, shingles, windows, the whole shebang. It was SUCH A BLAST!
And this is yet another thing that is so pathetic about Amber. Adults can revisit and relive their childhood. The way to do that is by socializing with kids - either your own goobery-nosed tiny people, or those from your friends and family (family of origin OR family of choice). Instead of buying and hoarding ridiculous piles of trinkets, you introduce them to the things that were around from your childhood. OR, you let them teach you about the things that THEY currently play with ... Except LOL Dolls! Those things are freaking creepy and I SWEAR I saw one move on it's own once. Uh, anyway, it's just baffling how many things she does ABSOLUTELY WRONG. With the law of averages, you'd figure by now she'd have accidentally stumbled on the right course of action at least ONCE by now.
Rich Piana be rolling over in his grave, jealous of those gains!
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2022
I've said it before. She had to quit diets, or whatever, cus 2-5 pounds lost in a week is too much and dangerous! Yet, she puts on a pound a day.
Some of you know I like to put up the math.... A pound of fat is 3500 calories.
To gain a pound in 1 day, you would need to exceed your required calories by 3500. And that's at 100% efficiency, which no one is at.
She is bigger than a regular human. To maintain just 400 pounds of sedientary body weight she would need to eat 2550 calories. With NO activity if she only ate 2550 calories every day at her height she would eventually "settle" down to 400 pounds.
This is an under estimate. She is consuming 6,050 calories a day on average to average a 1 pound weight gain per day.
Give or take, a Chicken Burrito from chipotle is 800-1000 calories. She's eating the equivalent of 6-8 of them a day.
No lypodema. Its thermodynamics. You still need the calories to make the fat to go into the lypodema.
www.mayoclinic.org
Some of you know I like to put up the math.... A pound of fat is 3500 calories.
To gain a pound in 1 day, you would need to exceed your required calories by 3500. And that's at 100% efficiency, which no one is at.
She is bigger than a regular human. To maintain just 400 pounds of sedientary body weight she would need to eat 2550 calories. With NO activity if she only ate 2550 calories every day at her height she would eventually "settle" down to 400 pounds.
This is an under estimate. She is consuming 6,050 calories a day on average to average a 1 pound weight gain per day.
Give or take, a Chicken Burrito from chipotle is 800-1000 calories. She's eating the equivalent of 6-8 of them a day.
No lypodema. Its thermodynamics. You still need the calories to make the fat to go into the lypodema.
Calorie calculator
Calculate the number of calories you need a day to maintain your weight.
www.mayoclinic.org
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
Perhaps we could do with a list of affectations and traits that Amber has assimilated from F,JFofNY,MG,W? I‘ll start:
- Drinking coffee
- slightly lower voice pitch when she remembers.
- Calling inanimate objects ’she’ or ‘he’ instead of ‘it’
- sudden need to own an ‘office’ to ‘work’ in
- pretending to like poke bowls and broccoli.
- Her straight hair suddenly has frizz problems
- ”bayybbee”